Money is...
Posted by han2, Dec 9 2010, 10:41 PM in trivia
* Money is like an arm or leg - use it or lose it. (Henry Ford 1931)
* Money is like muck - not good unless spread. (Francis Bacon, Essays XV, 1625)
* Money is like manure. If you spread it around it does a lot of good. But if you pile it up in one place it stinks like hell. (Clint Murchison Jnr)
* Money is flat and meant to be piled up. (Scottish proverb)
* Money is like a sixth sense, without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. (Somerset Maugham)
* Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. (Woody Allen)
* Money can't buy friends, but it buys a better class of enemy. (Spike Milligan)
* Money is indeed the most important thing in the world; and all sound and sucessful personal and national morality should have this fact for its basis. (George Bernard Shaw)
* Money is a singular thing. It ranks with love as man's greatest source of joy. And with death as his greatest source of anxiety. (J. K. Galbraith)
* Money is good for bribing yourself through the inconveniences of life. (Gottfried Reinhardt)
* Money differs from an automobile or mistress in being equally important to those who have it and those who do not. (John Kenneth Galbraith)
* Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other things if you did. (James Baldwin)
* For the love of money is the root of all evil. (Bible: I Timothy)
* Lack of money is the root of all evil. (George Bernard Shaw)
* It has been said that the love of money is the root of all evil, the want of money is so quite as truly. (Samuel Butler)
* A fool & his money are easily parted. (Irish Proverb)
* A fool and his money are soon parted. What I want to know is how they got together in the first place.(BBC's Cyril Fletcher)
* Take care of the pence, and the pounds will take care of themselves. (Proverb)
* Easy come, easy go. (Proverb)
* Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust. (Oliver Wendell Holms)
* Where large sums of money are concerned, it is advisable to trust nobody. (Agatha Christie)
* Nothing hurts worse than the loss of money. (Livy, History of Rome XXX, c.10)
* Without money, fame is dead. (Irish Proverb)
* The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any. (Katherine Whitehorn)
* You can be young without money but you can't be old without it. (Tennessee Williams)
* It is a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think that they can be happy without money. (Albert Camus)
* You don't seem to realise that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help. (Jean Kerr)
* Within certain limits it is actually true that the less money you have, the less you worry. (George Orwell)
* But then one is always excited by descriptions of money changing hands. It's much more fundamental than sex. (Nigel Dennis)
* Nothing links man to man like the frequent passage from hand to hand of cash. (Walter Richard Sickert)
* Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does. (Jane Austen)
* He that wants money, means, and content, is without three good friends. (William Shakespeare)
* For I don't care too much for money. For money can't buy me love. (John Lennon)
* I'm tired of Love: I'm still more tired of Rhyme. But money gives me pleasure all the Time. (Hilaire Belloc)
* No one would have remembered the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions. He had money as well. (Margaret Thatcher)
* Thirst after the drink and sorrow after the money. (Irish Proverb)
* A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things. (Bible: Ecclesiastes)
* Clearly money has something to do with life - In fact, they've a lot in common, if you enquire: You can't put off being young until you retire. (Philip Larkin)
* Money is good for bribing yourself through the inconveniences of life. (Gottfried Reinhardt)
* The trouble, Mr. Goldwyn is that you are only interested in art and I am only interested in money. (George Bernard Shaw)
* But it is pretty to see what money will do. (Samuel Pepys)
* Money doesn't talk, it swears. (Bob Dylan)
* I think money is on the way out. (Anita Loos, 1956)
* How pleasant it is to have money. (Arthur Hugh Clough)
* I can't afford to waste my time making money. (Jean Louis Rodolphe Agassiz)
* If possible, honestly, if not, somehow, make money. (Horace)
* There are few ways in which a man can be more innocently employed than in getting money. (Samuel Johnson)
* Put money in thy purse. (William Shakespeare)
* Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can. (John Wesley)
* Enrich yourself. (Francois Guizot)
* My boy...always try to rub up against money, for if you rub up against money long enough, some of it may rub off on you. (Damon Runyon)
* Some people's money is merited, and other people's is inherited. (Ogden Nash)
* He married money and got a woman with it. (Irish Proverb)
* Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your mind, and there you are. (Dorothy Parker)
* What makes all doctrines plain and clear? About two hundred pounds a year. (Samuel Butler)
* What's a thousand dollars? Mere chicken feed. A poultry matter. (Groucho Marx)
* Do they allow tipping on the boat? Yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you. (Groucho Marx)
* Pieces of eight! (Robert Louis Stevenson)
* I think I could be a good woman if I had five thousand a year. (William Makepeace Thackeray)
* If you can actually count your money then you are not really a rich man. (Paul Getty II )
* After a certain point money is meaningless. It ceases to be the goal. The game is what counts. (Aristotle Onassis)
* All that good money going on a mere picture, when it might have been spent on something really useful, like a drinking fountain or a public lavatory. (Aldous Huxley)
* Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. (A. P. Herbert)
* Public money is like holy water; everyone helps himself. (Italian Proverb)
* My money goes to my agent, then to my accountant and from him to the tax man. (Glenda Jackson)
* A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. (Bob Hope)
* It is only the poor who pay cash, and that not from virtue, but because they are refused credit. (Anatole France)
* No man's credit is as good as his money. (Sinner Sermons, 1926)
* God often pays debts without money. (Irish Proverb)
* If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some. (Benjamin Franklin)
* Let us all be happy, and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with. (Artemus Ward)
* I can get no remedy against this consumption of the purse: borrowing only lingers and lingers it out, but the disease is incurable. (William Shakespeare)
* We all know how the size of sums of money seems to vary in a remarkable way according as they are being paid in or paid out. (Julian Huxley)
Dangit, look similar, sound different but...
Posted by han2, Nov 16 2010, 05:57 PM in jokes
Dearest creature in creation,
Here are some English pronunciations.
Follow these verses if you will.
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
some amusing impact absorbers messages.
Posted by han2, Nov 16 2010, 05:56 PM in jokes
* Horn broken. Watch for finger.
* Keep honking...I'm reloading.
* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
* Driver Carrys no cash - He's Married
* All generalizations are false.
* Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
* I brake for no apparent reason.
* Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
* I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
* Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
* Rehab is for quitters.
* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
* Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
* Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
* Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
* No radio - Already stolen.
* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
* It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
* Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
* Caution: I drive like you do.
Goes to show that...
Posted by han2, Nov 16 2010, 05:56 PM in trivia
..the more we know, the more we'd realize how little we actually know, as shown by the recent discoveries, just last year, of new human male Y-DNA haplogroups S and T, and the fact that now, geneticists lump M, (N + O), (Q + R), and S together into MNOPS, whereas previously, M, (N + O), (Q + R)(P) were classified as separate subclades of K.
The current Y-DNA Haplogroup Tree 2009
and here's the updated rough guide of their journey OOA:
This baby keeps on tickin.
Posted by han2, Nov 16 2010, 05:56 PM in video
A pride of lions ambushed a herd of cape buffaloes as they were moving to a new pasture sending them scurrying back in the opposite direction, which allowed the lions to grab a little buffalo calf from the herd.
But amazingly, this buffalo calf survived, even after being attacked by these lions and some crocodiles, which at one point was having a tug of war with the lions using the buffalo calf as the rope, when the herd regrouped and came back to rescue it from the lions' clutches, mauling one of the lionesses and tossing it into the air in the process.
That was one tough, and at the same time, very lucky baby! 
the dim, the dimmer, and the "creative" ones.
Posted by han2, Nov 16 2010, 05:56 PM in jokes
Grade change form
Date:
Dear Professor,
My grade in ____ should be raised from _____ to ____ because:
1. There must be a mistake somewhere.
2. I was not well at the time of the examination.
3. My mind always goes blank during an examination.
4. This mark ruined my prospect of getting a scholarship.
5. This is the only course in which I received a poor grade
6. This mark grieved my mother (or Father). whose pride I am.
7. Conditions in the room were not conductive to concentration.
8. The examination was unfair and unfairly distributed over the subject
9. I have to work after school and nights; therefore I should be given a break.
10. I am married; therefore, I should be given a break.
11. I would have done much better if I had taken the examination give to one of the other sections.
12. Several people around me copied from my paper during the examination yet they received higher marks than I did. Surely this is not fair.
13. The reason I did not do better is because I am very honest. I do no wish to say anything against any other members of the class.
14. I know many of the class members who do not work as hard as I do an who got a better grade. I am recognized among my classmates as a good student - you just ask any one of them.
15. The question were ambiguous, and therefore, my answers should be graded according to the reasonable interpretations that I made of your questions.
16. Many of the questions could not be answered with straight facts; they were matters of opinion. I do not believe I should be penalize just because my opinions differ from those of the instructor.
17. I have studied this subject from the broad philosophical viewpoint and therefore, I was unable to answer your technical-based question
18. I am philosophically oriented to the realm of ideas; I respond to the sweep and scope of great intellects. My work is beyond the interest in petty details and parrot-like memorizing of those who are merely students
19. At the time of the exam, I was suffering from a severe case of cognitive dissonance and was incapable of coping with the stress of the hour.
20. It is not a higher mark I seek; I care nothing about marks; I think marks are wicked and I disapprove of them. However, this pernicious system of which I am a victim requires marks for achieving success and therefore, I seek a higher mark.
Thank you,
Name:
on This baby keeps on tickin.