12 Women to Avoid
Posted by Jasel, Sep 6 2007, 07:07 PM
This woman postulates that all the ills of society are orchestrated by men and the best thing a man can do to improve himself is cut off his testicles and grow a pair of ovaries. She believes that women are angelic creatures who would make the world a utopia if only the male "patriarchy" would allow them to. Any woman who promotes these absurdities lives in a fantasy world and will have no problem at all treating a man in a way that she would never herself abide by. You can easily identify her by her incessant mantra, "All men think with their penises." Avoid her at all costs.
2- Miss Take
She's out for your money -- pure and simple. Miss Take is the ultimate in high maintenance. She expects a man to finance her entire life just because she is biologically female. To her, a man should pay for drinks, dinners, trips, flowers, and jewelry, while she feels absolutely no guilt or compulsion to reciprocate. She is nothing but a whitewashed prostitute. Miss Take thinks her vagina is plated with gold and is worth a million dollars. She is greed personified. Since she has no concept of someone else's feelings, her only interest is in getting what she wants. And don't be fooled -- some apparently very "nice" girls are the greediest of them all.
On to Miss Romance, Elusive and Angry.
3- Miss Romance
This type of woman lives in a fantasy world of Lifetime Channel movies and romance novels. Every night she goes home alone to spend hours flipping through her bride magazines, imagining that, at any moment, Prince Charming will ride up on his white horse, sweep her off her feet, and offer her a problem-free existence for the rest of her life. The Miss Romances of the world have been coddled by parents and family, told they are "princesses," and have absolutely no idea that real life consists of paying bills and cleaning toilets. Miss Romance will expect to be taken care of, will be a dud in bed, and will, almost overnight, turn into a shrieking nag. Run.
4- Miss Elusive
This woman is closely allied to Miss Romance, but with a dark side. She is usually one of the "walking wounded" -- someone who has been hurt in past relationships and so subconsciously avoids or sabotages new relationships in the present. Your association with her will be one of utter frustration, as first she shows great interest in you, but very quickly runs away -- then repeats this cycle over and over again. Miss Elusive is the queen of mixed messages. She will flirt with you and date you, but you'll never get past "friend" status. What you will get is a million excuses for her unavailability, all calculated to deceive herself that she just doesn't have time for a relationship. Save yourself some heartache -- don't get involved with her.
5- Miss Angry
Like Miss Feminists, Miss Angrys really don't like men. They scorn the male gender and can rattle off all the wrongs and misdeeds of every man they've ever encountered. To Miss Angry, there's no such thing as a nice guy -- they're all "jerks," "creeps" and "pigs." Many of them have lots of simmering anger at men, which can explode at any moment like an erupting volcano. Unless you're into lots of drama and screaming, stay away.
6- Miss Insecure
This woman seems great at the start because she's very nice, accommodating and treats men well. But her inner insecurities don't take long to surface. Pretty soon she's calling you 10 times a day, asking to see "where the relationship is going," or because she "just wants to hear your voice." She needs constant reassurance that she's attractive, and worries incessantly about her makeup, hair and the alignment of her clothes. She's clingy, needy and compulsively agonizes that you're going to leave her at any moment for "someone better." This kind of thing can get really creepy really fast.
7- Miss b!tch
Miss b!tches are the sulkers, pouters and ball-busters of the female world. They are very unpleasant people who treat their fellow humans poorly, care only about themselves, and aren't concerned at all if they hurt you or anybody else. Most Miss b!tches qualify as Miss Takes, too. Miss b!tches are usually good-looking and well dressed, and you can easily identify them by the scowls on their faces as they imperiously strut through the world.
On to 5 more women you have to avoid at all costs.
8- Miss Me
A close relative of Miss b!tch, Miss Me is entirely focused on herself. Miss Me needs to be the constant center of attention no matter what she does or where she goes. She is a selfish, self-indulgent, self-serving narcissist who was raised as "daddy's little girl," and expects the same from you. Unless you enjoy the company of spoiled brats, stay far, far away.
9- Miss Desperate
Whether it's her baby clock ticking or she's the last of her girlfriends to trap a man, Miss Desperate wants to get married -- now. She doesn't care who the guy is or what he does -- as long as he's got a penis she can drag him to the altar. Watch out for this one!
10- Miss Turncoat
She's a conniving little piece of work who's an expert at conning men. Miss Turncoat will tell you exactly what you want to hear until you're hooked deep into the relationship (or married) and then the truth comes out. Overnight, your sweet little girl turns into a demanding, greedy, mercenary harpy who will browbeat you into submission if she doesn't get her way.
11- Miss Tease
Usually, you can spot Miss Teases a mile away because she flirts with anything in pants and flaunt her sexuality at every opportunity. Sometimes she sponges off older men; sometimes she's a ball-buster who enjoys getting men sexually excited and then walking away; and sometimes she just basks in her sexual power by attracting men like bees to honey. No matter how she operates, you can't trust her because she craves male attention and if somebody better comes along, she'll dump you in a heartbeat.
12- Miss Controlling
She is a subtly nasty one who will wind up directing every phase of your life. She will tell you what to wear, where to go, who to talk to, what friends you can have, what you can eat -- everything. And if you try to stand up for yourself, she will cut off sex, cry, scream, pout, or use any other deceptive female tactic until you give in and succumb to her demands.
you've been warned!
I wonder if there's one for guys. And if there is one I wonder which category I'd fall under. Sometimes I think I'm just overly suspicious of women in general which is why I tend to be so picky. I tend to think that there has to be something wrong with them when I'm interested and that tends to kill off my interest pretty fast. Undercover slut, no loyalty, fake, selfish, un-reliable, too flirty, too conservative, too religious, etc etc etc. I always find something. Except for a select few who are always unavailable anyway. Oh well
Just Another Day for an Atheist
Posted by Jasel, Aug 9 2007, 10:59 AM
Today was a great day in my Atheist life. It started off as it usually does, with me waking up and denying The Lord at the top of my lungs, screaming out "I TOTALLY DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD ACTUALLY" as loudly as I could, because of course, being Atheist means my life completely and utterly revolves around denying The Lord as much as is humanly possible. I got out of bed and dressed in my typical Atheist garb - a sinister black cloak, plastic devil horns, and a hunting knife strapped to my leg, just in case I ran into any Christians and needed to gut them on the spot. Usually you can wait for a few buddies to help you crucify them, but if you're caught on the hop, you don't want that Jesus-loving freak to get away. We've all been there.
I only fancied something light for breakfast, so I had my underaged gay hermaphrodite lover, Satanclaw to russle me up some pages of the bible in goat milk. As I crammed the word of God into my mouth, I laughed heartily at just how wicked I was for this sinful morning nutrition. Since I'm Atheist, anything I do that's even slightly wrong is fantastic and hilarious to me. Erotic as well, because I am an incredibly twisted pervert who revels in every deviancy under the Sun. Whilst on the subject of the Sun, I should remind you that Charles Darwin invented that. All Atheists know that Charles Darwin invented Planet Earth because he was bored and wanted a lark. As I ate my breakfast, I watched a little television, or to put it another way, copious amounts of illegal gay pornography. To all Atheists, gay porn is the most wholesome thing on the planet you can watch, and there's not one of us alive who doesn't love to masturbate over it. With my breakfast done, I kissed Satanclaw on his arsehole, wiped The AIDS from my mouth, and went out to run my errands.
Every weekday morning is spent the same. I'll hang out by the local preschool, abducting, buggering and murdering as many infants as I can fit into my burlap bag. Luckily, the principal of the school is an Atheist too, so not only does he approve of my pedofun, he often helps and sometimes joins in the rapetastic chicanery. I'm a big ol' Atheist, which means I have no concept of right or wrong and morality simply doesn't exist in my decadent heathen world. I'm sure I could see something wrong in kiddy rape but... I don't believe in God so.... s'cool. After all, everybody knows that you can't be truly moral unless you're acting out of fear of going to Hell. There's absolutely no other way of doing the right thing without being scared of an all-seeing God. Since I don't believe in God, I can happily revert to the carnal desires for children that we all have. It's just the Atheist way.
With today's victims buried in their shallow graves by the lake, I decided to head out and get the groceries for the week. On the way to the store, however, I saw a Christian. We Atheists despise every single Christian who ever lived because they're simply that big and important, and thus I had to slit his throat right there in the street. Thank God Who Doesn't Exist Btw that I brought my knife, huh? I hacked away at his windpipe and battered him in the head as he bled and gurgled and quivered to death. I was crying and screeching the whole time, because every time I see one of those disgusting Christians, my blood boils and I go insane with hateful rage. They seriously ruin my life and I believe that utterly. Naturally, I flipped his still warm corpse over and made the gayest of love to his dead, puckered spicehole while drinking the blood. Because y'know... I don't believe in God. The only regret I had in killing him was the fact he wouldn't be able to enjoy all the lovely HIV I'd just shot into his @$$hole. Since my mother's an Atheist, I was born with AIDS, and I simply love spreading it around. It makes me smile every time I poo, knowing that there's a little bundle of queergerms in every brown bum boulder.
After that little detour, I finally made it to the store - or as some might call it - the abortion clinic. Call me old fashioned, but there's just something downright delicious about a freshly-vaccuumed fetus. Sometimes I keep a few just to roll around in. I love smearing their little blood-slicked bodies over my naked Atheist flesh, licking their big, soulless black eyes and kissing them erotically as I spray my AIDS infested spunk all over my Pentragram adorned bedroom floor. The abortion doctors are always very helpful in making sure I get the choicest little slices of herecy, although they sometimes can't help getting distracted by the sounds of screams and misery that echo through their blood drenched corridors. Lovely blokes, abortion doctors, but they do get off on human suffering to the point where they just don't concentrate on anything else. Can't say I blame them, not believing in Jesus or anything does make one about a billion times more sadistic. I really do recommend a tour of your local abortion clinic whenever you have spare time. They're not shy in showing you the torture chambers, dungeons, genetic experiment laboratories, Necromancy suites and child skull piles that are the industry standard.
As I left with my freshly ground fetal gonads, I couldn't help attacking the pregnant teenager on her way to the clinic. I figured abortionists shouldn't have all the fun and, since I'm an Atheist, I'm genetically disposed to wanting to eliminate every fetus I'm near. I spent a merry few hours idly kicking her in the vagina and stamping on her stomach while the mother of my victim looked on and applauded, revelling in our Godless ways. As I was laughing and shouting at her, some flecks of spit landed in her tear-stricken eyes and she instantly became infected with my AIDS, at which point she exploded with AIDS and covered everything in AIDS blood. Then I raped the mother. Just 'cos.
When I got home, I felt really great, which is rare for me since I usually feel completely empty about the idea of Heaven not existing and as such, totally don't have any respect for my life. I certainly don't use that lack of belief in eternal life to make the most of what I have, oh no. Far more logically, I just have a complete lack of faith in myself and believe nothing is worth anything. But I did feel good today, and it might have been because I had a $hitload of drugs back home waiting for me. Drugs are so awesome, I'll just eat that $hit right down while voting for Democrats. After ramming several ecstasy tablets up my ringpiece, I went outside to burn a few crosses, then summoned a Demon and fu-ked it while trying to communicate with aliens, eating the brains of Christians, giving thousands of dollars to terrorists and praying at my shrine to Doctor Dawkins.
All in all, what a great Atheist day I had.
Restless Leg Syndrome
Posted by Jasel, Jul 22 2007, 04:53 PM
It turns out I might have Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). You've probably had one, two, or several laughs at people claiming to have RLS. Well I have anyway. But now it's not so funny
Two nights ago I was laying in bed and I just had this really weird feeling in my thighs that would sometimes go down to my calves. I'd toss and turn to get comfortable, massage my legs, and that would help anywhere from a few seconds to a couple of minutes but the sensation just kept coming back. I thought that maybe I had been sitting down too long today and just needed some circulation to get rid of the feeling. So I'd walk around the house, get some food, hop back on the computer for a few minutes and eventually would feel fine.
But when I laid back down within two minutes the sensation would come back in both legs. It's hard to describe the feeling but it's basically almost like a burning sensation although it's short of actually being painful. Regardless it's damn near impossible to sleep when it's happening. I can barely keep my legs still for more than a minute because the feelings just get too uncomfortable. The only way to relieve the comfort is to move your legs and you can't sleep when you have this weird @$$ feeling in your legs and you can't sit still. Thus Restless Leg Syndrome.
Last night I got maybe 2 hours of sleep. 3 hours the night before. I've had sleep issues for almost 2 years now but me and my parents have never known why. I've been taking sleep aids, prescription and over the counter, for over a year now. But I've been trying to wean myself off of the Lunesta and I think maybe that's why these symptoms are popping up. In a few days I'll probably have to take part in a sleep study to figure out what's wrong exactly but I'm 90% sure it's RLS. It's pretty much the only explanation and I have pretty much all of the symptoms. I think I've had it for awhile I just never put the connection together. Or the symptoms were so small I didn't notice. But the $hit I've been feeling the last few days is bad.
So if you're one of those people who thinks RLS is a joke or not real, it is. And it fu-king sucks. So don't laugh at people who claim they have RLS like I did. Even though it's fun to do.
X-Men cartoon (1992 - 1997)
Posted by Jasel, Jul 22 2007, 04:39 PM
So for the past few days due to some sleep issues (turns out I might have RLS and I'll talk about that later) I've been pretty much holed up in my room in front of the computer suffering from sleep deprivation. My friend showed me a link the other day for a site that has a bunch of archived movies, anime, cartoons, documentaries, etc http://www.tv-links.co.uk which is pretty good.
Going through some of the cartoons I saw one of my personal favorites growing up as a kid. X-men. I remember waking up early as hell every Saturday morning (something most of us grow out of by high school) just to make sure I wouldn't miss the next episode. I thought the plots were great, the characters cool and deep, and that everything flowed smoothly throughout the story line.
Watching through 3 seasons of the cartoon taught me that my tastes and intelligence in the past decade and a half or so has improved alot. If you haven't watched this cartoon before or did and just didn't care about it that much this entry will probably bore and confuse you so don't bother unless you want to read for the hell of it anyway.
The first thing that I noticed after watching a few episodes was how ridiculously cheesy and cliche the dilaogue was. Storm, who I used to think was a great character, says the corniest $hit EVERY time she uses her powers. If it was every other episode or so it probably wouldn't be as annoying. But it gets to the point where you hope that b!tch just gets shot so she won't have anymore lines. It's THAT bad. "RAIIIN, WASH AWAY THEIR HATRED!!", "I SHALL SUMMON THE WIND TO BLIND THEIR EYES!!", "TRY TO BATTLE WITH THE SPIRIT OF THE ELEMENTS!!". Imagine that in an over the top semi-man voice and you get the picture. Multiply those examples x50 and you start feel a dull throbbing sensation behind your eyes every time you see her.
Wolverine was another interesting character. Pretty much because he's supposed to be the bad @$$ but a lot of the time he just gets completely emo. It also doesn't help that many of his lines are corny, cheesy, cliche as fu-k also but he still doesn't have $hit on Storm. Another thing I noticed is that all of Wolverine's love interests in the cartoon are non-white. First it's Yuriko. The Japanese lotus blossom he left behind to join some lame @$$ unit who eventually turns into some cybernetic mutant and comes back after him for revenge. Then it was Silver Fox. Native American woman who also has a thing for gruff hairy white men I guess. And lastly, in an alternate time warp/dimension/cliche reality, he's married to Storm. Pretty much the only black character besides Bishop (who ironically is violent, impulsive, non-charismatic, and questionably an idiot himself).
I just find it kind of weird how politically correct the show tries to be but at the same time it's a bit stereotypical and sometimes there's just racial stuff in there you know wouldn't slide now. You would not hear the phrase "pecker wood" in any cartoons made today. The discrimination the Beast and other mutants have to deal with is obviously supposed to parallel racial issues and send the underlying message everyone should be tolerant of each other. At the same time however they do dumb $hit like sticking the white guy with every ethnic woman under the son to show "how great" IR relationships are. Maybe not a blatant thing but it's subliminal $hit like that which fu-ks with people's heads in small but multiple doses while they're growing up. Especially for kids.
The plot/storyline is also another dead giveaway that this show was intended for children and people with lower IQs. Alot of the explanations for events and technology is either so simplistic it's not even believable or it's so complex it pretty much has the same effect.
Gambit: Sacre Bleu! How did we wind up on the moon?!?
The Beast: Obviously it was some intermittent molecular transporter device!
or
Cyclops: Quick! There has to be some way to destroy that machine and stop the universe from being sucked into oblivion!!
Storm: Winds and lightning hear my call and bring down the machine of destruction!
$hit like that gets old quick. Although I guess I have to take into account there were usually weekly breaks between each episode and you couldn't just watch them back to back on a computer back then. Regardless there's just too much unlikely $hit that goes on for it to be believable by anyone with an education or a good chunk of common sense at least.
Overall though it's still kind of enjoyable watching a show from the past. Even if it's nowhere near as great as I remember it. But I guess being a kid makes you prone to being excited over things that are just blatantly lame.
My life
Posted by Jasel, Jul 9 2007, 09:46 PMI decided to make this blog since I have absolutely $hit going on in my life and I'll write about my mundane personal experiences here and be absorbed into mainstream anti-social phenomenon that has struck millions of hapless internet users. That is blog. I'm tired though. So Ill write some stuff some other time.
on Just Another Day for an Atheist