The force within...

I guess my spirit of fun and zest for life return in abundance this week. Having had long holiday outside helps me a lot, and feel like the creative side comes out in full force! That's why I return to this abandoned blog However, I already has my baby, my own blog with my beloved team. My old sister and my bestfriend help me so much to light up every page of it and we'll keep this fun work for the rest of our lives...arrrrhhh!!
This month has been the most excited month in my journey of life. Like a roller coaster, it stirred me up and at first I tended to try and compromise. But then I realized it is better to get any worries out in the open and discuss them than to pretend that nothing is the matter. It may seem as though a spiritual force is guiding the way things turn out.
My life is waiting, so I'll make sure that I'll jump on board this week. So goodbye AF blog!!

Me vs. Fact vs. Fiction

No. It's not about writing things...

Separating fact from fiction is an issue I need to deal with sometimes. I’m normally a very direct and straightforward person. My friends said I value truth and honesty but sometimes I’m in the situation where I don’t wanna face the facts, especially when it’s related to a close friend. Yeah, I must admit that.

Once my best girl-friend told me that someone I knew well wasn’t as good, compassion, wise and perfect as I thought since she had experienced the dark side of him. I didn’t buy it. Then several friends came to me with unpleasant experiences. Still I didn’t buy it. I thought this person could be positioned as one of the heroes in sort of fictions. So I keep sticking on my own judgment and ignored the others.

Today, I know I was wrong. I witnessed some unfairness he did to the others. Yet I can’t tell him my fullest opinion straight on his face. I know a good friend is a friend who tells you when you go wrong, and not just when you’re right. The thing is, even though I’m straightforward, I just couldn’t let the feeling go easily cause I wanted to keep the fiction livelonger (I just told him not even half of my opinion, assuming he would catch the whole essence, and it failed). But when it was too late and things were getting worst, I gave up and left in a disappointment.

So there, I've decided. I left my friend. Not that it’s easy. I just don’t see any point in keeping my relationship with someone who can’t value itself. See, I may not have given much conscious thought to my intrinsic value system, but could encounter an event that will bring my deepest philosophy of life into question. (What’s life actually?)

I should keep in my mind that the real truth will come to light sooner or later and that I will have to deal with it then. And I do hope someday my friend realizes there are worthier things in life than what he’s doing now.

A Hundred Percent Contentment

I’ve been thinking lately that people may have 100% contentment once in a while but never thought they get it everyday through out their lives til I watched Oprah show. Coz I feel like I do not have quite the degree of control over my life that I should have. I should reach it first to get my 100% percent, shan’t I?

Events seemed to occur in ways that foil my best-laid plans and yet bring results that I could never have dreamed of. Right after getting promoted to the news division, I was very satisfied and felt 100% contentment. All was good, my colleagues, my job-desk and schedule and plans. One month later it decreased to 70% and now after 3 months it’s only 50% of contentment. Oh…while I’m writing this, suddenly I realized…this is like a circle. It’s dejavu…
I mean…I was in marketing division and ‘twas all good in the beginning till my intellectual needs roared. Not that you don’t need brain in marketing. But keeping your sales record by “deceiving” clients (aka white lies) with ratings and all that, it just sucked my brain out.
First time I got my first clients, ‘twas like riding a roller coaster. My adrenaline at the highest level, I was ecstatic and thrilled, and by the end of the days after all the upside-downs and head over heals; I slept tight with smile on my face. Yeah…100% contentment. That was what I thought. It didn’t last forever though. So I asked to leave. And now in my new place it’s happening again. Hello!! Where are this 100% going??

I took my first 30 minutes walk 2 days ago as one of my new year’s resolution, ‘living the life healthier’, which I did just 3 months after new year. I walked on foot from my house to the traditional market in the morning. It took me 5 minutes by car but 15 minutes on foot. I just know that the market is on the eastern part, and considering the Pythagoras law about the shortest way to reach my destiny, I picked labyrinth-like route: Go straight-go left-go straight-go right-go left…and so on.

Walking is also the best way for contemplation. It’s the cheapest exercise I know. I crossed the rural area I’ve never been to before and saw several unique tiny but well architecture houses. I walked on the narrow streets at the backyards and could hear someone singing in the bathroom and water splashing. Some mothers with babies gathering before the warung, and talking nonsense. Some old men (a retirement troops, perhaps) sat around the corner and sipping coffees. Getting nearer to the market place, I saw becak men sleeping under the trees and I passed the newspaper-stand guarding by an old grandma. I dropped by and bought a magazine. She gave me a warm smile. Perhaps I was her first consumer that day. I wonder how they live with minimum wage. Seemed they had no troubles in their simplicity. Of course I know there’s none are trouble-free in life, however.

Several days ago I said in my blog I had everyone’s dream job. But 100% contentment doesn’t only live in it. Maybe some of us have too much to ask while the others grateful for tiny things they have. Maybe to reach that 100% contentment through out my life is just stop full of beans and make a change. Yet my honey ever said it is best to be patient and instead just surrender to the flow of life. It’s dejavu again coz just like a wise line I read today: “Let life happen, and don't try to force it to conform to your wishes.”

Not my nature, bu I’m trying to do so. Whoa! I have so much to learn! Buzz off!

Good example of resignation letters

...just when I had a thought of it, my colleague forwarded me this e-mail

Formal one....


Short but formal...


A bit formal...



I'm gonna pick this one

5 Minutes Convo With Boss

So there I sat down in the meeting room, with 25 people around, at 5.30pm in the afternoon. All in black excluding me, and I felt doomed. God must have been fooling me. Counted on my last self-confidence, which could save me from being stupid and rigid, I sat next to my manager, hoping his big body could hide me from my boss sight. Of course at the same time I knew it was brainless coz every boss sit on the head of the desk, so they can see you all. Yes, he saw me. And the meeting began with an up-to-the-minute agenda “Why do you black-less?”

Me: I forgot that today is Monday (yeah it’s just plain stupid but I’m honest)

Boss: You sound joking. (Looking around and found some men wearing jackets) You don’t wear black too underneath the jackets? Open up your jackets and let me see it.

(Next time I’ll wear a jacket and I’ll be save thanks to the law of sexual harassment in office)

Boss: Listen up all of you. I don’t wanna back you up if HRD calls me just because you guys disobey the regulation of uniform. Or if the security head throws you out.

(Ehmm..He didn’t know that security head is one of my best buddy. My boss astonishingly looked at my manager’s uniform. Btw, my manager is a military freak. And he wore some pins on his chest that day. Freak, I know)

Boss: It’s a funny contra. Some people don’t wanna wear uniform, but some other wears it superfluously.

Me: But bossssss…I JUST forgot that this is Monday! That’s it. I’ve no oter reason! (with high tone in every line)

Manager: I got these ones through sweat and starvation in the forests. (touched his pins with dignity)

Producer: ..and a box of instant noodles, I reckon.

Boss: ..and anti-mosquito lotion.

Manager: Okay, are you satisfied now?

(I loved my manager for putting me on the spot-less yesterday)

My Purple Skirt & Pink Coat on Black Monday

….I can’t believe I could not recall that today is Monday! I went sleeping quiet fast than usual last night, and I thought it was enuff for my brain to work properly in the morning. But I was wrong. Everything seemed alrite until I arrived at the office and found out everyone in black! Yes, black everywhere --I mean a black uniform that we should wear on every Monday and Thursday! And I forgot the rule.

This obligatory began 2 months ago and I think it was stupid in the first place. Black affects you. Yes. I figured this out in the evening meeting last week. We were all looked in grieve, like someone had just died terrifically, and we gathered for a commemoration instead of discussing future agenda, and my producer said he needed something fresh for his eyes. Everyone seemed spirit-lost.

Anyway, I’m wearing a purple skirt under my pink coat. This color is so not suitably among the blacks, though it’s eye-candy. The good side is: I’m now the merrier and the fairest in the room. Bad side: I’m hiding from the securities. Luckily I’m a good friend of several of them. But what will happen if my big boss sees me this afternoon? I’m kinda anxious about it. Maybe I should borrow my other department friend’s uniform. Or maybe I just skip the afternoon meeting. But alas! My colleague has just sms me, and she said she was sick. There’s no other way to escape

If I don't come back for my next report in the blog, it means "me & detention" for the next title.