I reached a milestone today that tasted like victory over a 2-month period of self-doubt. I did a quick sanity test today and it was good enough to call it a day. Otherwise, I would have been there for another hour or two until I could get good results. By the time I was done and ready to leave for home, it was 8pm. I am less worried now since I have a bit more confidence in the integration of my code, and I am ready for a month long of testing my code and getting it reviewed. Now I can breathe. =D
I feel bad for the way I behaved the past weeks. When I should have left work at work, I brought it home in my mind. Every night I just sat there thinking over the kind of methods I can use..... carefully interpreting the design documents and diagrams into Ada... visualizing how the new feature interacts with similar old features. It was all addition and subtraction. It wasn't like I was doing differential equaitons or integration LOL.. but I did struggle making my own design decisions at work and that was probably why these frustrations were carried home.
At work I just sat there wanting to bang my head against the desk as I try to make sense of everything and think of other possibilities. One advantage had a disadvantage and likewise, a disadvantage had an advantage. Like writing an essay on paper, I write up ideas, scratch them out, re-write them again, scratch them out again, and write new ideas. Page after page I numbered what I can do in black and answered my own questions and comments in blue. If it weren't for that, I'd probably get confused.
At home I was a major grouch. I came home late from overtime and had only about 2-3 hours before it was time to sleep. I wanted those hours to myself. Of course I had to make time for my boyfriend and I became selfish, wanting time for me to relax. hehe. =)
*sigh* testing is going to stretch me out since I'll mainly do it alone. I will be testing from interactive displays down to the bit.
When I heard that getting this feature integrated and ready by the drop in late April will make our customer happy, I felt a great responsibility to follow through. I don't know why my team lead trusted that I can do this, but I figure this will be a good opportunity to show my worth =).
SO I don't know what the tomorrows will bring but I'll deal with challenges as they come... I've no choice but to do so =D
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