My friend needs help, possible psychological/mental disorder Options

[PeterKChan]

One of my friend/coworker admitted he blew over $1,000 in one week spending nights at hostess clubs. He really believes he can find a true girlfriend at those places. He keeps imagining someday a beautiful Latina or white girl will be his ultimate girlfriend. This guy is 44 years and not getting any younger (but he doesn't look that old). Those hostess girls are playing him left and right and he doesn't see the mud that he got himself into. We've tried to ask him to go hang out at real bars and clubs where he can meet single Asian chicks, or to go to a church that mainly caters to Chinese or Asians. He said he would rather die than to go out with an Asian woman. This guy is just a sorry, pathetic loser. I believe his problems are 80% psychological. No man in his right mind can find the time nor money to waste at those places. He is very cheap with dining out or shopping. He'd rather save every penny to waste on these hostess ladies. He also blames society's unfairness towards Asian men in the dating game and that is why he has to pay and go to those hostess clubs to seek the time, attention and 'sexual favors' of those Latina and white hostess gals.

I seriously want to tell him to consider seeking a psychiatrist for weekly therapy to get at the heart of his problem, but I know he would only think we're making fun of him or stopping him for fulfilling his Latina/white girl dream, fantasy.

[KojTusMeHavnim]

This guy is just a sorry, pathetic loser.

He probably is..

It's very sad to hear his story from your point of view.
Sometimes, some people have to learn the hard way. Let him do what he wants and hope he learns?

If it's psychological issues then that's much harder to deal with. I'm not sure how to deal with a person like that.

[Henry123]

One of my friend/coworker admitted he blew over $1,000 in one week spending nights at hostess clubs. He really believes he can find a true girlfriend at those places. He keeps imagining someday a beautiful Latina or white girl will be his ultimate girlfriend. This guy is 44 years and not getting any younger (but he doesn't look that old). Those hostess girls are playing him left and right and he doesn't see the mud that he got himself into. We've tried to ask him to go hang out at real bars and clubs where he can meet single Asian chicks, or to go to a church that mainly caters to Chinese or Asians. He said he would rather die than to go out with an Asian woman. This guy is just a sorry, pathetic loser. I believe his problems are 80% psychological. No man in his right mind can find the time nor money to waste at those places. He is very cheap with dining out or shopping. He'd rather save every penny to waste on these hostess ladies. He also blames society's unfairness towards Asian men in the dating game and that is why he has to pay and go to those hostess clubs to seek the time, attention and 'sexual favors' of those Latina and white hostess gals.

I seriously want to tell him to consider seeking a psychiatrist for weekly therapy to get at the heart of his problem, but I know he would only think we're making fun of him or stopping him for fulfilling his Latina/white girl dream, fantasy.

So what if he doesnt desire Asian women? By trying to force him to conform to your ideal of beauty only fuels his belief that he can find a non Asian girlfriend at those types of places (hostess clubs).
What you should be doing is discouraging him to go to those places But that he can find the type of women that he likes somewhere else.

Does anyone else see the problem here?


This post has been edited by Henry123: Apr 18 2011, 07:48 AM

[txoomsuab2]

blame the media, blame the american society watever, if u git game than u got game u should just tell him to his face, old men think they can still play on the playground like the rest of us, not

[chiuchimu]

If he's a really good friend:
Go with him to the bar. Be the '@$$hole' and make him confront the reality. Make the girls admit. The bouncers will probably kick you guys out but that's part of the realization.



If his not that close:
Try to hook him up with someone compatible and leave it at that.

[population1]

at that age with money blow... I'd be a pimp instead. Asian club sound preferable, but if it's only for chinese then that is not cool.

[strongbad]

peter chan only wants to say negative things about asian guys indirectly, so he makes up a bunch of crap.

[k82562131]

WTF? Possible psychological problem for having preference in a type of women not of his own ethnicity? I wonder who really has the psych issue.

I'll check the DSM-IV. i'll come back and tell you if there is anything relevant to this

[Jessyca]

Well if it isn't really hurting his financial situation to blow money and have a great time for ...such a short period than just let him be. He is stuck really stuck in his ways if he believes that is the only way to get a girlfriend. The only way to get him out of that is some real life situations which you just stated that he really doesn't want to go and do. So I think the best idea is just smile and hope he doesn't loose everything in life...especially if one of the girls is smart and just goes and marries him..than takes all his stuff...

[AsiaticGlory]

We've tried to ask him to go hang out at real bars and clubs where he can meet single Asian chicks, or to go to a church that mainly caters to Chinese or Asians. He said he would rather die than to go out with an Asian woman. This guy is just a sorry, pathetic loser.

Do I feel sorry for him? hmm nah
Why bother helping an Asian guy who does not like Asian women? If it had been the opposite gender, you guys would be all like, "zomg da sellout dates white guys."

If you hate it when AF refuses to date AM then you must also hate it when AM refuses to date AF. Otherwise, you would be a hypocrite.

This post has been edited by AsiaticGlory: Apr 21 2011, 11:40 AM

[Jacklinethomas]

One of my friend having problem regarding her family they always torture,using abuse language,biting and even not allowing him to left out and meet her family.After his love marriage she always in depression she's having one kid too. can you suggest me some effective way to sort out her problem?

[ClassicalMusic]

This guy is just a sorry, pathetic loser. I believe his problems are 80% psychological. No man in his right mind can find the time nor money to waste at those places. He is very cheap with dining out or shopping. He'd rather save every penny to waste on these hostess ladies. He also blames society's unfairness towards Asian men in the dating game and that is why he has to pay and go to those hostess clubs to seek the time, attention and 'sexual favors' of those Latina and white hostess gals.

Real men no themselves and don't behave that way. It is not
society, although society does play its part, its up to him to
overcome life challenges. He has no values and principles.
Tell your friend to seek time alone and search deep inside him.
Tell him to seek out the spiritual path. Your friend really has no
clue of who he is as a man.

[Mizz_Luv3r]

He's hopeless, let the man be. OR Find an Asian lady that's somewhat his type and get her to open himself up. Otherwise, let the man do what he wants to do.

[mndeg]

is it KT Chong????

[faydabakery]

This guy's not hopeless. Don't force Asians on him if that's not what he wants. It'll just annoy him and make him dislike Asian women even more. He may not be meant to be with an Asian woman. Let him decide for himself. I hope you're in a multicultural city. If you are, just take the man to get some Latin dance lessons. Trust me. He'll be happy. That way he can at least meet some normal Latinas and probably some Asian women as well. Then he can actually work on learning how to date one. But he can't be a wimp. Latinas like aggressive men so he's got to have the balls to go after one.

[Henry123]

bump topic

[SemperFidelis]

people who sit around blaming others all day are usually the fault of their problems

[Taln]

WTF? Possible psychological problem for having preference in a type of women not of his own ethnicity? I wonder who really has the psych issue.

I'll check the DSM-IV. i'll come back and tell you if there is anything relevant to this

My copy of the DSM-IV is packed in a box somewhere, but I think this would be categorized as a lack of applied intelligence, rather than any mental disorder.

While his choices are rather pitiful, unless it is significantly impairing other aspects of his life (work, health) he's just letting his preferences lead him to some questionable pursuits.

[Tangedevojke]

in general, its always good to help out a friend.

For your case, it seems like the memory swap if it works is an upgrade for your friend but a downgrade for you. I personally wouldnt do that You dont want to downgrade just to help someone out.

For the hard drive, thats a good upgrade since you get an upgrade and your friend does too, win/win.

[LittleDeathAngel]

We've tried to ask him to go hang out at real bars and clubs where he can meet single Asian chicks

Wtf??? Bars are not the place to go to meet up with women you might want to be with for the rest of your life. >_>

This guy is just a sorry, pathetic loser.

Nah. He is just confused. >_>

He also blames society's unfairness towards Asian men in the dating game and that is why he has to pay and go to those hostess clubs to seek the time, attention and 'sexual favors' of those Latina and white hostess gals.

Bull$hit. White chicks love Asian guys. My first girlfriend was white, so I know. I also had quite a few white chicks like me back in my high school/college days. They don't hate Asian guys. Asian guys, for the most part, just act awkward as hell around them and they assume the girls hate them because they acted like a total retard in front of them.

I seriously want to tell him to consider seeking a psychiatrist for weekly therapy to get at the heart of his problem, but I know he would only think we're making fun of him or stopping him for fulfilling his Latina/white girl dream, fantasy.

Tell him that if he wants a Latina or White chick that badly, he should save up money and get himself a mail-ordered bride. >_>