A situation.... just open it~ Options

[mastaping]

Lets say.....
A girl and a guy start exchanging emails often, then meet, then see eachother a few times. Then lets say they become "intimate" with eachother...
Lets say then that the girl and Guy live 3 hours away from eachother, but continue to alternate seeing eachother on weekends at eachothers places. Now lets say that its clear they like eachoter. Lets say that the guy seems to be very nice to the girl...ie driving 3 hours to see her everyother weekend, and sending her home with noodles, teas, coffees, kimchi ect ect everytime she sees him, and that they talk for hours with eachother. Lets say that this guy told the girl he loved her once. and that one of the reasons he still continues to see her is not only because of their physical relationship but because he really enjoys talking to her BUT lets say that this guy always tells the girl he has other plans at certain times so either he leaves or she goes home...... What is going on in this situation?
oh and lets just say its all happened within the timespan of 4 months. just saying

This post has been edited by mastaping: Aug 30 2011, 09:58 AM

[YourMuDoIsWeak]

Hmm is this a hypothetical question.
If so Id say entrapment is the best option.

[mastaping]

Hmm is this a hypothetical question.
If so Id say entrapment is the best option.

yes lets just say this was a situation lol.... i dont get your answer sorry lol

This post has been edited by mastaping: Aug 30 2011, 10:12 AM

[YourMuDoIsWeak]

yes lets just say this was a situation lol.... i dont get your answer sorry lol

To lure into danger, difficulty, or a compromising situation.

Seeing as this dude is probably not a douche bag this girl could entrap him by having a baby.
this is all hypothetical of course. I have seen this happen though.

[mastaping]

To lure into danger, difficulty, or a compromising situation.

Seeing as this dude is probably not a douche bag this girl could entrap him by having a baby.
this is all hypothetical of course. I have seen this happen though.

Hmm so you dont think in anyway that this guy is possibly using this girl? I mean whats with the time frames...... Do you not think that if this guy really liked this girl like he says he does that he would spend more time with her???

[YourMuDoIsWeak]

Hmm so you dont think in anyway that this guy is possibly using this girl? I mean whats with the time frames...... Do you not think that if this guy really liked this girl like he says he does that he would spend more time with her???

Im 21 years old.
Im a "young buck"

Seeing as I fu-ked up all of the relationships i have been in by being a complete and utter dumbass I dont think I should give you any more $hitty relationship advice.

I am a blunt individual, I would confront the person look them in the eye and say "Are you just fu-king with me? Or is their more" I lack tact as you see.

[mastaping]

Im 21 years old.
Im a "young buck"

Seeing as I fu-ked up all of the relationships i have been in by being a complete and utter dumbass I dont think I should give you any more $hitty relationship advice.

I am a blunt individual, I would confront the person look them in the eye and say "Are you just fu-king with me? Or is their more" I lack tact as you see.

lol your a guy you can do that......but i am a girl........HEY! who says this is about me anyway lol
This is just about a girl and a guy....lol

[YourMuDoIsWeak]

lol your a guy you can do that......but i am a girl........HEY! who says this is about me anyway lol
This is just about a girl and a guy....lol

I assume to much?
Personally, being the cynical misanthrope that I am I would say the girl is being used.
But that is because I stopped seeing the bright and sunny optimist years ago.

[mastaping]

I assume to much?
Personally, being the cynical misanthrope that I am I would say the girl is being used.
But that is because I stopped seeing the bright and sunny optimist years ago.

No its possible that you are right.... maybe u are that way because reality has made it so..... I know this because im also thinking that this girl is possibly getting used. Tho i really really want to believe that that is not true...... i want to believe

[Vendetta]

I'd say he may just have other things planned; like he's part of a club and has to meet on certain days, or he's got a part-time job, etc. Otherwise why travel 3 hours just to see the girl? She's have to be pretty special to him for him to drive that long of a distance to see her. Is this hypothetical couple concrete? Have they established that they're exclusive or not? And it doesn't matter if you're a girl or not; sometimes if you want to know something, you should be blunt rather than beating around the bush.

[mastaping]

I'd say he may just have other things planned; like he's part of a club and has to meet on certain days, or he's got a part-time job, etc. Otherwise why travel 3 hours just to see the girl? She's have to be pretty special to him for him to drive that long of a distance to see her. Is this hypothetical couple concrete? Have they established that they're exclusive or not? And it doesn't matter if you're a girl or not; sometimes if you want to know something, you should be blunt rather than beating around the bush.

Thank you for your reply~.......Lets say he does not have anything planned like that... its always gatherings with friends. ... And lets say he cant work in the us so its not a job..Lets say this hypothetical couple has not really established anything other than they like eachother, enjoy eachother company, and are not being intimate with any one else... I see how him driving so long and doing those things for this girl would easily make one believe that this girl was special to him... But then why would this guy make only one day a week available for this girl? when he does not work, or go to school at the current moment nor is he part of any clubs... Lets also say that during the week, they may have one or 2 phone calls and exchange a few texts... but thats all..... Hmm lets say that this girl is scared sh-tless of pressuring the guy, since the guy is the one who is supposed to make the first move on that.....

[Vendetta]

Thank you for your reply~.......Lets say he does not have anything planned like that... its always gatherings with friends. ... And lets say he cant work in the us so its not a job..Lets say this hypothetical couple has not really established anything other than they like eachother, enjoy eachother company, and are not being intimate with any one else... I see how him driving so long and doing those things for this girl would easily make one believe that this girl was special to him... But then why would this guy make only one day a week available for this girl? when he does not work, or go to school at the current moment nor is he part of any clubs... Lets also say that during the week, they may have one or 2 phone calls and exchange a few texts... but thats all..... Hmm lets say that this girl is scared sh-tless of pressuring the guy, since the guy is the one who is supposed to make the first move on that.....

If this hypothetical guy has no job, that also means he doesn't have a stable income, meaning he's somewhat broke. Driving 3 hours is a lot of gas, which is hellishly expensive these days. The phone calls and texts may be somewhat far in between because he may have a very cheap plan. He may be hanging with his friends because that's what guys do; they chill with each other without having to spend money; they'll spend the night at each other's places just playing video games or drinking.

[mastaping]

If this hypothetical guy has no job, that also means he doesn't have a stable income, meaning he's somewhat broke. Driving 3 hours is a lot of gas, which is hellishly expensive these days. The phone calls and texts may be somewhat far in between because he may have a very cheap plan. He may be hanging with his friends because that's what guys do; they chill with each other without having to spend money; they'll spend the night at each other's places just playing video games or drinking.

Yes i understand, but lets say he does have a steady income, lets say hes here on a student visa, and his parents send him cash. I know the nice good things he does is ...well... nice and awesome^^
Lets also say he goes to sleep at midnight every weekday, so he can call for free.
Lets also say that he does spend money everytime he goes out... and that he does not play video games...
I understand what you are saying.... So let me ask you this ..... Do you really think he likes this girl, and is not just maybe using her?
I like how you made a reason for all the situations..... ^_______^
I should relay these questions to the girl......

[Vendetta]

Yes i understand, but lets say he does have a steady income, lets say hes here on a student visa, and his parents send him cash. I know the nice good things he does is ...well... nice and awesome^^
Lets also say he goes to sleep at midnight every weekday, so he can call for free.
Lets also say that he does spend money everytime he goes out... and that he does not play video games...
I understand what you are saying.... So let me ask you this ..... Do you really think he likes this girl, and is not just maybe using her?
I like how you made a reason for all the situations..... ^_______^
I should relay these questions to the girl......

Then it could be the distance. Because 3 hours is quite a drive personally. He may be using her but I don't know what this hypothetical guy is like IRL. He could easily be using another girl that's closer too. Who knows ::shrugs shoulders:: But I do think this girl should just be blunt with him and ask him directly where they stand and why their communication is lacking; it's ok to address your insecurities to someone who you care for.

[zomboo]

well relationships are complicated and this clearly is one of those communication issues. personally i like to call my girl, but only if i feel like she calls the same amount as me. I don't want to come of as the clingy one in the relationship. for me it's once the girl starts to call me on a consistence basis, i start to call without really thinking about if i'm coming off too clingy.

from what i can tell these two people are still breaking ground in this relationship so taking it slow is never a bad thing (even though, 4 months is pretty long, but each relationship has its own pace).

The whole hanging out thing is the same deal with the phone calls. He doesn't want to be emotionally taken advantage of either. If he's not a teen and has gone through a few relationships and/or crushes, he's, probably, realized rushing into a relationship with a lot of high hopes can cause a lot of heartache in the end. So keeping distant is a way for him to protect himself.

If the girl hasn't seen any flirty texts from other girls on his phone or any other indication of cheating, then she shouldn't be worried. But if she has caught him lying or seen some sexting then she should make a surprise visit some time or when she has extended free time, she should present the offer to ride back to his place and stay overnight . Seeing his response will tell a lot. if he's happy about it then he's in the clear, but if he makes some excuses and she brushes them of, but still insists he doesn't want her to come then he's hiding something.

[avisitor]

A guy here on a student visa and gets money from parents.
Meets a girl here but drives three hours in order to see each other.
But, the guy doesn't go to school and doesn't work???

Okay, now we have a situation where the guy must be a gangster.
Time spent away from her must be spent with the boys ... building rep
and doing stuff that the gang needs.

My advice is to confront and learn the truth.
No good can come from a dishonest Long Distance Relationship (LDR)

[Teshub]

sounds like a convenience relationship. its easier for the guy to get poontang by driving some miles than trying his luck in girls he cant score with.

and for the girl, she doesnt need to worry about the guy breathing down on her since she is far away. she can play with that guy and others and those men would have no idea.

This post has been edited by Teshub: Aug 30 2011, 09:40 PM

[mastaping]

Lets say they do spend the night at eachothers places... And let's say he's not a gangster n dies go to school but is not in yet cause of something personal... So he's not a gangster

[chiuchimu]

Talk to him and find out why he has to abruptly leave. If the reason sounds legit, then I'd gamble on the relationship for several more months.

In life we have to take chances.


Best wishes

[fivers]

Based on what you said I think she should spy on him lol, there are some really good spy phones which look like regular Nokia and since the guy appears to spend a lot of time in his car I'd say to hide one underneath his seat.. also one under his bed hihihi lol, if she wants to spend some dough on it there are also hidden camera and record devices concealed in alarm clocks, tissue boxes etc. ... once it's been found out he doesn't see somebody else I'd say the timing's right to ask him whether he's serious about the relationship or not, at least she'll know that he's answering in a honest way even if he says no
even if she doesn't spy on him she'll find out the truth anyway - be it later than sooner.., as it's quite difficult for somebody to lead a succesful double life...
anyway I hope he's not on this forum.. cuz that would be really awkward....