is he using me? Options

[Shalli]

No, your mum is not mad. It is because of situations that cause people to become who they are. And he cannot fully be blamed for his attitude and selfishness. But keep in mind, you're not a charity case. Why would you want to support someone's life to make your own life worst? Let him go, but don't disrespect him.

Also, him not taking you to see his parents yet has nothing to do with whether he's real with you or not. If it's not real towards you, he will still take you to see his parent, as his parent would want him to get a better life regardless.

thanks for your thoughts, agree with what you're saying here. i totally understand his situation but i resent being asked for so much. the first time he asked me i started laughing (in my head of course) cos i was like 'here we go what kind of fool does he take me for' but he's grown on me now as we've spent everyday for 5 weeks together and he was pretty much living in my room with me.

This post has been edited by Shalli: Sep 1 2010, 12:40 AM

[FrenchVanillaNYC]

Dude sounds like a gigolo. Run! Run fast! Drop him!

He's manipulating you because you have more money than him. Don't look back.

[azns13]

of course hes using u. hes poor and from a poor country

[Mona]

So I recently met this guy when I was in Cambodia, we've been dating about 6 weeks but already topic of getting married and having kids has come up, which sounds crazy to me. He's pretty much got nothing and I feel guilty that his life sucks but at the same time I don't want to be used. So far he's asked me to pay for his school, give him my laptop, buy him clothes and take him to England. I haven't brought him loads of stuff but I did buy him some clothes and give him lunch money for school. There was no way I was going to give him my new netbook but I said I had an old one at home I could send to him but when I got home I couldn't find it and remembered I'd thrown it away, he got super angry saying if I don't send him a laptop he'd lose face and that he felt he couldn't trust me anymore because I am a liar! When I brought up moving to Cambodia and opening a business he was fine about it and was happy with that and he also wants to get married in Cambodia before coming to UK. I haven't met his parents yet but he said we could go see them and then changed his mind because he had nothing to give them. I'm going back in December, he's promised I can meet them then instead and I was going to wait and see if he keeps that promise before I make any decisions about the relationship. So what do you guys think?

Are you f**king kidding me?

This guy is a gold digger, why should it take us to tell u that, u can't be that naive, please tell me that is not your picture on the profile, i begg!
What happen to strong black women?

Dump he's a$$

This post has been edited by Mona: Sep 1 2010, 09:16 PM

[Shalli]

lol yep that's me just can't be bothered to change my photo right now and yep to the dumping as well.

[mndeg]

is that the guy in your avatar photo? a guy being mad at you for not buying him stuff should be an instant alarm for probably most people.

This post has been edited by mndeg: Sep 2 2010, 10:55 AM

[azns13]

and i hope u used a condom cus people from southeast asia esp the gold diggers can be dirty

[Mona]

lol yep that's me just can't be bothered to change my photo right now and yep to the dumping as well.

No hun - don't change your photo Ur very pretty, that's not what i meant.
What i meant is, please don't tell me that is your picture because if you are indeed a black girl, i thought black girls got more fire in them than to take
that kinda crap from a guy that your taking.

Ur pretty! Hell! you too hot for him anyway. please don't remove your picture.

This post has been edited by Mona: Sep 2 2010, 06:19 PM

[azns13]

No hun - don't change your photo Ur very pretty, that's not what i meant.
What i meant is, please don't tell me that is your picture is because if you are indeed a black girl, i thought black girls got more fire in them than to take
that kinda crap from a guy that your taking.

Ur pretty! please don't remove your picture.

yea typically blak girls do have more fire but obviously she aint ur typical blk girl since she digs asians lol. so shes gonna be a little different personality wise lol

[Mona]

lol yep that's me just can't be bothered to change my photo right now and yep to the dumping as well.

How old r u by the way? because how can u support this kid, you look pretty young urself...
Why did you go to Cambodia out of all places?

I hope you find someone else who will treat you properly. I mean he got the NERVES to get upset that you don't want to give him your laptop, then he turns around and call you a liar, how dare he, this really pisses me off. If you were on the phone when he was angry you shoulda BANG the phone down on him, atleast thats what i woulda done, or if you were in person and he said that you shoulda tell him to Get lost and walk away. Whether he is poor or not, that is not your problem, you can't get soft for every poor person you meet, you need to put yourself first before anyone else, you got your studies to worry about not this kid who you barely know. He is some kinda cambodian player, who thinks he's sweet talks can get to you, and soon he'll have your under he's belt which you paid for. You need to kick he's player a$$ to the curb and keep it moving.

This post has been edited by Mona: Sep 2 2010, 06:44 PM

[avisitor]

How old r u by the way? because how can u support this kid, you look pretty young urself...
Why did you go to Cambodia out of all places?

I hope you find someone else who will treat you properly. I mean he got the NERVES to get upset that you don't want to give him your laptop, then he turns around and call you a liar, how dare he, this really pisses me off. If you were on the phone when he was angry you shoulda BANG the phone down on him, atleast thats what i woulda done, or if you were in person and he said that you shoulda tell him to Get lost and walk away. Whether he is poor or not, that is not your problem, you can't get soft for every poor person you meet, you need to put yourself first before anyone else, you got your studies to worry about not this kid who you barely know. He is some kinda cambodian player, who thinks he's sweet talks can get to you, and soon he'll have your under he's belt which you paid for. You need to kick he's player a$$ to the curb and keep it moving.

Angry much???

[Shalli]

thanks for the replies guys! yep that's him and me before we got together. reading through all this stuff i know you guys are so right, i knew it anyway you just need to hear things sometimes and i know you guys never fail to tell it how it is lol.

i'm only 25, he's older than me (28). i think i just got carried away on holiday really, if i was back home would of told him to get lost already. i do psychology as well come onnnn lol. he gets jealous as well, he followed me to a bar once just to let me know he knew i was there.....

as for why i picked Cambodia well because of the history and it's turned out to be my fave place i've been to. beautiful country that was amazing but so heart breaking at the same time. it's the one place i've been to in Asia where i felt people wern't looking down on me for having some colour (i'm mixed) then again they all thought i was Indian lol. one time i thought i'd be clever and decided to get a pick up truck from Phnom Pehn to Battambang (turned out to be a nightmare 9 hour journey where i couldn't move most of the time cos it was so full and my legs were still hurting 2 days later) but people were sharing their food with me and treating me like one of them, i couldn't understand them but somehow it all worked. was cool aside from the pain lol.

i will change my photo for a new one of just me lol.

This post has been edited by Shalli: Sep 3 2010, 05:12 AM

[Mona]

thanks for the replies guys!

These moderators might give u a warning for having ur signature too large.



EDIT: Update on sept 4 at 7:47pm, girl ur hot just saw ur new pic with the hat, loving it

This post has been edited by Mona: Sep 4 2010, 05:48 PM

[mikeandsuzi]

So I recently met this guy when I was in Cambodia, we've been dating about 6 weeks but already topic of getting married and having kids has come up, which sounds crazy to me. He's pretty much got nothing and I feel guilty that his life sucks but at the same time I don't want to be used. So far he's asked me to pay for his school, give him my laptop, buy him clothes and take him to England. I haven't brought him loads of stuff but I did buy him some clothes and give him lunch money for school. There was no way I was going to give him my new netbook but I said I had an old one at home I could send to him but when I got home I couldn't find it and remembered I'd thrown it away, he got super angry saying if I don't send him a laptop he'd lose face and that he felt he couldn't trust me anymore because I am a liar! When I brought up moving to Cambodia and opening a business he was fine about it and was happy with that and he also wants to get married in Cambodia before coming to UK. I haven't met his parents yet but he said we could go see them and then changed his mind because he had nothing to give them. I'm going back in December, he's promised I can meet them then instead and I was going to wait and see if he keeps that promise before I make any decisions about the relationship. So what do you guys think?

ARE YOU SERIOUS? DUMP THIS GUY QUICK. HE IS A LOSER AND YOU ARE BEING USED

[cbongnc]

i notice why white men choose asian women to marry or engaged or just using them .

1. it is cheaper to live here in asian maybe esp phil.

2. they will use the name or their partner (dummy) to buy properties as the foreigners have no right to buy things here.

many of them just using filipinas so that white men can do what ever they want here and its cheaper. then leaving the asian girl as a doormat.

[miss_merisha]

So I recently met this guy when I was in Cambodia, we've been dating about 6 weeks but already topic of getting married and having kids has come up, which sounds crazy to me. He's pretty much got nothing and I feel guilty that his life sucks but at the same time I don't want to be used. So far he's asked me to pay for his school, give him my laptop, buy him clothes and take him to England. I haven't brought him loads of stuff but I did buy him some clothes and give him lunch money for school. There was no way I was going to give him my new netbook but I said I had an old one at home I could send to him but when I got home I couldn't find it and remembered I'd thrown it away, he got super angry saying if I don't send him a laptop he'd lose face and that he felt he couldn't trust me anymore because I am a liar! When I brought up moving to Cambodia and opening a business he was fine about it and was happy with that and he also wants to get married in Cambodia before coming to UK. I haven't met his parents yet but he said we could go see them and then changed his mind because he had nothing to give them. I'm going back in December, he's promised I can meet them then instead and I was going to wait and see if he keeps that promise before I make any decisions about the relationship. So what do you guys think?

yeah he is using you.
now run while you still can.

[Woo]

Hey Shalli,

This is a tough question. However, from my perspective, your interest in him seems to be because you "want him to have a better life". You feel sorry for the guy, right? I feel relationships should not be driven by pity for a person.. but please correct me if I am interpreting things wrong.

He may be truthful about his love and his need for money, etc... However, is going through all the trouble for him worth it? I feel a relationship is about growing togethor and having one another help each other out. It seems if you go through with this relationship, you will be doing most of the providing.

In addition, you've only been with this guy for 6-7 weeks, i feel suspicious/skeptical of marriage at such an early stage. I'd personally would take more time to think and yes, meeting his family may be a good idea...

I hope things work out

Matt

[nagasawa]

I normally would be ok with a girl treating a guy, but only if a guy is strong and financially independent.

Like I mentioned in another post. Say the girl is making 70k and the guy is making 100k or more. Both comfortable salaries. Let the girl pay for everything date-wise.

If the guy is broke, fu-k him. Sex tourism is sex tourism. Don't pretend it's anything more to make yourself feel better.

[thisaznboi88]

Drop that dude. his using you. Block all aim, msn, skype, email, phone, and ect. his going to use you and then dump you. You should do it first.

[infinitum88]

It doesn't take a genius to realize that the BOY IS USING YOU. Screw him!