PERSONAL STATEMENT, IN NEED OF HELP NOW! Options

[RB2SIX]

ok so i dont have much to write about.. i have a paper that says for prompt 1, im supposed to write about the world i come from and how my world has shaped my dreams and aspirations.. then for prompt 2 it says "tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you blah blah blah"

well here's the thing. over the past 4 or 5 years i've been going to school, coming home after school, do homework, play games, eat, sleep, wake up go to school, come home, do homework, play games, eat, sleep.. i tried looking for jobs but nobody was hiring.. ive never participated in extracurricular activities.. never worked.. ummm i dont have a talent.. hmm what else..

im interested in cars and mechanical engineering but i know very little about them..

this is what i've done so far:

"My interest in automobiles started in sixth grade when I met a friend who knew the basis of cars. I had no interest in cars and knew little about them, but after learning little about them from my friend, cars became an obsession for me. Since then, I became more aware of the different ways cars can be modified and this made me curious about the way the mechanisms work. Obsessed with cars from sixth grade up until sophomore year in high school, I felt the need to expand my interest for a larger variety of complex mechanisms because I felt that a lot more can be done with mechanics rather than just with cars. I did a quick research on mechanical engineering and I knew it would be something I will love to do for my career in the future."

i had 2 other paragraphs but my teacher crossed them out and told me to focus on my love of automobiles.. he wrote on my paper:

paragraph 1: describe the parts of your favorite car. be detailed and specific.
paragraph 2: give the history of when you first started loving cars.
paragraph 3: moving to mechanical engineering, what other things do you hope to build.

ok for paragraph 1, I DONT KNOW.. am i supposed to do some research now? in interested in this stuff but im not GOOD at it
paragraph 2 i think i already did..
paragraph 3 i think i can do myself but i need some ideas.

edit:

should prompt 1 relate to prompt 2 or can they be totally different things? for example, prompt 1: what happened in school, problems i ran into, how i overcame them
and prompt 2: mechanics

This post has been edited by RB2SIX: Nov 24 2009, 01:08 AM

[Bre3zyJune]

the two prompts do not need to be related to each other.
i remembered last year when i did this and the questions were similar. what were the two paragraphs that your teacher cut out about? it just seems like your essay is too well planned, which is good, but sometimes it just doesn't let the admission staff see into who you are. i took a lot of classes and attended a lot of writing classes at colleges during their admission open house, and most of the admission staff told me that the best essays are usually the ones that are simple, but have voice and reflect who the person is. i remembered my college counselor telling me that, sometimes when teachers edit your paper, they take away the rough edges that makes up your personality and smooth it into something your not.
good luck! i know how it feels to do these tedious college essays! been there!