guys who have good jobs and money-but have trouble getting date or gfs |
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guys who have good jobs and money-but have trouble getting date or gfs |
Jan 25 2012, 12:34 PM
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#1
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AF Fiend Group: Members Posts: 482 Joined: 19-May 05 |
i met a few guys in their 30's who have good jobs and high paying too and nice cars and own apartment and have it all but when it comes to attracting a gf and getting dates they have trouble.
why is this i thought once you got the good job and money and stuff it was more easier. i met a few through this meetup and even one who never had a gf or dated . hes like 33 good finance job and nice new car too. funny thing is these guys i met from the social meetup for asian single guys they werent ugly. most were 5 8 or taller, nicely dressed and professionals in finance, accounting, engineering with a least a univeristy degree and working in a good big company one got dates but couldnt even keep a date. they go out with him but after that 98% dont want to see him a second time another in his 30's still hasnt been on a simple coffee date. family owns a business and hes going to law school anyone met someone like this before? why |
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Jan 25 2012, 02:26 PM
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#2
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AF Addict Group: Members Posts: 502 Joined: 5-June 11 From: Australia |
you sarge, you should understand what women are attracted to and why just looks and money dont do it for a lot of women
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Jan 25 2012, 10:41 PM
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#3
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AF Supreme Group: Members Posts: 10,466 Joined: 2-August 04 From: The Pits of Hell |
The ones that try to pursue me are usually shy. lol I have a few who've been trying for a few years to actually date me. But they'll flirt with and ask for dates for awhile and then they're off to their business trips and hectic schedules. I think it's hard for some of them to date because of their work habits. I also think that they're afraid of rejection. Being that their successful and probably controlling, gettting someone to like them is out of their control.
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Jan 26 2012, 04:02 AM
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#4
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AF Pro Group: Members Posts: 1,476 Joined: 7-January 11 From: America |
Those types of Asians should get mail-order brides from Asian countries. The fact they are making more money means they would be attractive to traditional women who prefer providers over witty players. Since they make a lot of money, they don't need help in making ends meet so their wives don't need jobs which helps the mail-order brides who struggle with English. At the same time, a lot of Asian women raised in the West are not interested in large families. The same goes for a lot of Asian men raised in the West too. Though I think a lot of stereotypical two dimensional engineers would be more interested in the family life.
The combination of the professional Asian man's high salary and the traditional views of an Asian mail-order bride means they can raise large families to help grow the overseas Asian population. In addition, the guy can help his Asian foreign wife's family apply for US citizenship. Thus bringing more Asians into the overseas communities. It is a win-win situation. - The anti-social Asian professional gets married. - The Asian mail-order bride (and possibly her family) gets to live in a developed country. - The population of the overseas Asian community grows. This post has been edited by AsiaticGlory: Jan 26 2012, 04:45 AM |
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Jan 26 2012, 07:29 AM
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#5
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AF Pro Group: Members Posts: 2,518 Joined: 9-March 09 |
Those types of Asians should get mail-order brides from Asian countries. The fact they are making more money means they would be attractive to traditional women who prefer providers over witty players. Since they make a lot of money, they don't need help in making ends meet so their wives don't need jobs which helps the mail-order brides who struggle with English. At the same time, a lot of Asian women raised in the West are not interested in large families. The same goes for a lot of Asian men raised in the West too. Though I think a lot of stereotypical two dimensional engineers would be more interested in the family life. The combination of the professional Asian man's high salary and the traditional views of an Asian mail-order bride means they can raise large families to help grow the overseas Asian population. In addition, the guy can help his Asian foreign wife's family apply for US citizenship. Thus bringing more Asians into the overseas communities. It is a win-win situation. - The anti-social Asian professional gets married. - The Asian mail-order bride (and possibly her family) gets to live in a developed country. - The population of the overseas Asian community grows. @OP, maybe theye are just very picky and don't wanna tell you :p |
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Jan 26 2012, 09:05 AM
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#6
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AF Guru Group: Members Posts: 3,894 Joined: 14-July 09 |
They're probably closeted gays. All their tales of dating troubles are lies so their friends and family won't become suspicious.
This post has been edited by samnang: Jan 26 2012, 09:11 AM |
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Jan 26 2012, 11:49 AM
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#7
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AF Elite Group: Members Posts: 6,700 Joined: 9-October 07 From: NYC |
Most guys get training or education in subjects such as needed for work.
However, they never get any training in how to be social and attract women. There's no school for being good at rapping to a girl you really like. Some people get lucky and learn the tricks of social attraction. Some even manage to marry. All I know is that if you don't try then you'll never know if it is possible. For me, I got a crappy job but a fantastic wife. |
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Jan 26 2012, 02:07 PM
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#8
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AF Pro Group: Members Posts: 1,476 Joined: 7-January 11 From: America |
@OP, maybe theye are just very picky and don't wanna tell you :p This is possible. A successful guy will demand a high-quality woman. They're probably closeted gays. All their tales of dating troubles are lies so their friends and family won't become suspicious. maybe In any case, I have come to the conclusion that common sense and dating advice won't help you date smart androgynous Asian girls who are obsessed with romance and have little to no sex drive. It sounds counter-intuitive but I think this type of Asian girl has a preference for clingy guys. This type of Asian girl is also scared of being used by a player. If she does get used by a player, I could see her castrating him. |
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Jan 26 2012, 05:05 PM
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#9
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AF Addict Group: Members Posts: 502 Joined: 5-June 11 From: Australia |
Most guys get training or education in subjects such as needed for work. However, they never get any training in how to be social and attract women. There's no school for being good at rapping to a girl you really like. Theres classes/seminars/houses run by pick up artists to teach men about attracting women Those types of Asians should get mail-order brides from Asian countries. The fact they are making more money means they would be attractive to traditional women who prefer providers over witty players. Since they make a lot of money, they don't need help in making ends meet so their wives don't need jobs which helps the mail-order brides who struggle with English. At the same time, a lot of Asian women raised in the West are not interested in large families. The same goes for a lot of Asian men raised in the West too. Though I think a lot of stereotypical two dimensional engineers would be more interested in the family life. The combination of the professional Asian man's high salary and the traditional views of an Asian mail-order bride means they can raise large families to help grow the overseas Asian population. In addition, the guy can help his Asian foreign wife's family apply for US citizenship. Thus bringing more Asians into the overseas communities. It is a win-win situation. - The anti-social Asian professional gets married. - The Asian mail-order bride (and possibly her family) gets to live in a developed country. - The population of the overseas Asian community grows. You make it sound like a mission. Love is an incentive to get married, the need to increase the overseas asian population is not. In any case, I have come to the conclusion that common sense and dating advice won't help you date smart androgynous Asian girls who are obsessed with romance and have little to no sex drive. It sounds counter-intuitive but I think this type of Asian girl has a preference for clingy guys. This type of Asian girl is also scared of being used by a player. If she does get used by a player, I could see her castrating him. Is that the kind of girl you are after? Because obsession is a pretty negative characteristic and will lead to unfair demands on the other person. Little to no sex drive is also a negative thing. Sex is a healthy part of a relationship, the oxytocin released during orgasm helps couples bond even more and how much more intimate can you get than when you're wrapped naked in each others arms falling asleep? That's not to say you have to fu-k like rabbits, you have to find the balance point. If there is a preference for clingy guys, then she's insecure. The constant romantic attention expected of you would become a nightmare. Common sense and dating advice would say steer clear of girls like this. You keep throwing around androgynous, what exactly is androgynous characteristics are you talking about? |
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Jan 26 2012, 11:18 PM
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#10
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AF Pro Group: Members Posts: 1,476 Joined: 7-January 11 From: America |
You make it sound like a mission. Love is an incentive to get married, the need to increase the overseas asian population is not. Regardless everyone benefits. Besides a lot of those workaholic anti-social professionals probably don't really care about romance. They probably at most want someone to have children with or just someone to talk to. Is that the kind of girl you are after? Because obsession is a pretty negative characteristic and will lead to unfair demands on the other person. Little to no sex drive is also a negative thing. Sex is a healthy part of a relationship, the oxytocin released during orgasm helps couples bond even more and how much more intimate can you get than when you're wrapped naked in each others arms falling asleep? That's not to say you have to fu-k like rabbits, you have to find the balance point. If there is a preference for clingy guys, then she's insecure. The constant romantic attention expected of you would become a nightmare. Common sense and dating advice would say steer clear of girls like this. To be fair, I consider myself to be somewhat clingy so I don't have the right to judge that type of woman. I always think it is hilarious whenever people expect their partners to be something they themselves are not. i.e.: obese guys who want to date women with toned bodies This clingy behavior seems more common among Asians since Asians came from a climate where being loyal was critical. A guy who was attached to his partner is more likely to pass on children than the player who left after impregnating the woman. This extreme form of loyalty was also why the Japanese had kamikaze pilots. By the way, many of those pilots were college students. I think the fact Asian men get very attached to their girlfriends is why they seem to have less dating success in America. I don't think it is because they are losers because many of these Asian guys are able to hook up with someone when they go back to Asia. If they were truly losers, they would still remain single when they go back to Asia. Many people think it's the media's "negative portrayals" but I disagree. Actually I'm aware that sex is a healthy part of the relationship. When it comes to sex, I prefer to be in a position where only my partner gets me "excited" and nothing else. I am making it my goal to be able to look at porn without being aroused. You keep throwing around androgynous, what exactly is androgynous characteristics are you talking about? neutral gender Personally I'm not a fan of the male insecurity thing or the girly girl thing. I think I mentioned something about this on the other topic in AF Lounge. This post has been edited by AsiaticGlory: Jan 26 2012, 11:20 PM |
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Jan 27 2012, 02:33 AM
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#11
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AF Addict Group: Members Posts: 502 Joined: 5-June 11 From: Australia |
To be fair, I consider myself to be somewhat clingy so I don't have the right to judge that type of woman. I always think it is hilarious whenever people expect their partners to be something they themselves are not. i.e.: obese guys who want to date women with toned bodies This clingy behavior seems more common among Asians since Asians came from a climate where being loyal was critical. A guy who was attached to his partner is more likely to pass on children than the player who left after impregnating the woman. This extreme form of loyalty was also why the Japanese had kamikaze pilots. By the way, many of those pilots were college students. I think the fact Asian men get very attached to their girlfriends is why they seem to have less dating success in America. I don't think it is because they are losers because many of these Asian guys are able to hook up with someone when they go back to Asia. If they were truly losers, they would still remain single when they go back to Asia. Many people think it's the media's "negative portrayals" but I disagree. Actually I'm aware that sex is a healthy part of the relationship. When it comes to sex, I prefer to be in a position where only my partner gets me "excited" and nothing else. I am making it my goal to be able to look at porn without being aroused. Being clingy is not being loyal and nor is it part of a healthy relationship. Try not to justify being clinging as a positive thing because all that will do is making it harder to break the habit. A clingy person is emotionally unstable and for some reason they feel uncomfortable in their relationship and need to cling to their partner. Being emotionally unstable makes it harder for them to think straight and they are more likely to jump to negative conclusions in minor incidents. I guess it depends how clingy you are, but ideally you should be aiming to maintain a certain level of independence (me time / time with friends is important in a relationship) and allow your partner to do the same. By far the best thing I can recommend is to learn to be able to talk openly with your partner, and have them do the same. Be able to listen and take criticism but also learn not to be afraid to criticise your partner. Theres not need for brutal honesty, but be assertive and direct because dropping hints, being vague and beating around the bush just creates frustration and doesnt solve the problem. Dont beat yourself up if other people get you excited, if your partner trusts you then they wont be upset. neutral gender Personally I'm not a fan of the male insecurity thing or the girly girl thing. I think I mentioned something about this on the other topic in AF Lounge. Still a bit vague. Do you mean physically neutral as in its questionable whether they are male or female? Or the whole gender role thing, 1 day shes ironing, the next shes fixing her car etc? |
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Jan 27 2012, 09:13 PM
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#12
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AF Addict Group: Members Posts: 532 Joined: 13-December 10 From: thar yonder |
There are a variety of reasons why a successful man can't hang on to a date. Self worth is one reason. They're too selective in finding the right person that is commensurate with his material qualities. I know of one young doctor who's playing with of holding out with a girl to find a better match because that girl is not as successful as he is. He keeps calling for a date but in the end doesn't show up to that date, stooding the girl up.
I think there's just too much choice and freedom nowadays. People are going to grow old before finding the right match. By the time you find your perfect match, that person's probably gotten old like a hag already. What happened to the old tried and true ways of arranged marriages. You might hit the jackpot of a life time if that person is hot. Just get with it and do it. |
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Jan 29 2012, 05:25 PM
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#13
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AF Pro Group: Members Posts: 1,476 Joined: 7-January 11 From: America |
Being clingy is not being loyal and nor is it part of a healthy relationship. Try not to justify being clinging as a positive thing because all that will do is making it harder to break the habit. A clingy person is emotionally unstable and for some reason they feel uncomfortable in their relationship and need to cling to their partner. Being emotionally unstable makes it harder for them to think straight and they are more likely to jump to negative conclusions in minor incidents. I guess it depends how clingy you are, but ideally you should be aiming to maintain a certain level of independence (me time / time with friends is important in a relationship) and allow your partner to do the same. By far the best thing I can recommend is to learn to be able to talk openly with your partner, and have them do the same. Be able to listen and take criticism but also learn not to be afraid to criticise your partner. Theres not need for brutal honesty, but be assertive and direct because dropping hints, being vague and beating around the bush just creates frustration and doesnt solve the problem. Dont beat yourself up if other people get you excited, if your partner trusts you then they wont be upset. Still a bit vague. Do you mean physically neutral as in its questionable whether they are male or female? Or the whole gender role thing, 1 day shes ironing, the next shes fixing her car etc? I just think I am kind of clingy. I am still able to have me time and time with friends and family members. Maybe "attached" would be a better word. true Both partners should be honest but not be insulting about it. Yeah, I'm not a fan of the gender role thing. All those skills are just needed to be self-sufficient. There are a variety of reasons why a successful man can't hang on to a date. Self worth is one reason. They're too selective in finding the right person that is commensurate with his material qualities. I know of one young doctor who's playing with of holding out with a girl to find a better match because that girl is not as successful as he is. He keeps calling for a date but in the end doesn't show up to that date, stooding the girl up. I think there's just too much choice and freedom nowadays. People are going to grow old before finding the right match. By the time you find your perfect match, that person's probably gotten old like a hag already. What happened to the old tried and true ways of arranged marriages. You might hit the jackpot of a life time if that person is hot. Just get with it and do it. People today have more expectations so it's harder to find the right person. In the past, the man just had to be a provider while the woman just had to be able to give birth to healthy children. I also notice that Asians from more developed countries are more likely to remain single for a longer period of time. There is a growing number of Asian women in their 30s and 40s who are still single. |
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Jan 29 2012, 06:37 PM
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#14
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AF Supreme Group: Members Posts: 16,645 Joined: 10-March 05 |
http://www.asian-nation.org/interracial.shtml
http://thesocietypages.org/colorline/2011/...riage-patterns/ the latest update in nov 2011 says that marriage with white is down and marriage between asian is higher. but that wont help you bosco. nothing will. |
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Jan 30 2012, 06:45 AM
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#15
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Newbie Group: Members Posts: 2 Joined: 30-January 12 |
i met a few guys in their 30's who have good jobs and high paying too and nice cars and own apartment and have it all but when it comes to attracting a gf and getting dates they have trouble. why is this i thought once you got the good job and money and stuff it was more easier. i met a few through this meetup and even one who never had a gf or dated . hes like 33 good finance job and nice new car too. funny thing is these guys i met from the social meetup for asian single guys they werent ugly. most were 5 8 or taller, nicely dressed and professionals in finance, accounting, engineering with a least a univeristy degree and working in a good big company one got dates but couldnt even keep a date. they go out with him but after that 98% dont want to see him a second time another in his 30's still hasnt been on a simple coffee date. family owns a business and hes going to law school anyone met someone like this before? why ---------------------------------------- Actress Hot Pics Bolllywood Actress Wallpapers This post has been edited by bhaji: Feb 12 2012, 12:31 AM |
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Feb 1 2012, 03:14 AM
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#16
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AF Addict Group: Members Posts: 502 Joined: 5-June 11 From: Australia |
I just think I am kind of clingy. I am still able to have me time and time with friends and family members. Maybe "attached" would be a better word. true Both partners should be honest but not be insulting about it. Yeah, I'm not a fan of the gender role thing. All those skills are just needed to be self-sufficient. According to my GF and her female friends, its sexy when men do house work and tasks that are traditionally seen as a women only thing. Also if 2 people do the housework, it gets done faster and leaves more time to spend together doing more enjoyable things. |
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Feb 3 2012, 10:32 PM
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#17
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AF Addict Group: Members Posts: 532 Joined: 13-December 10 From: thar yonder |
People today have more expectations so it's harder to find the right person. In the past, the man just had to be a provider while the woman just had to be able to give birth to healthy children. I also notice that Asians from more developed countries are more likely to remain single for a longer period of time. There is a growing number of Asian women in their 30s and 40s who are still single. I think it's the sign of the times. Freedom and equality will let people more choices and do what ever they want. Some people think they deserve more than than others. Which is why they are holding out, to find a better match. They want everything to be perfect like in the movies, never looking at their own deficiencies. Even when they get a mate, once something goes wrong it's out for a divorce. |
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Feb 8 2012, 04:39 AM
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#18
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AF Fan Group: Members Posts: 66 Joined: 6-February 12 From: Haiti |
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Feb 8 2012, 04:42 AM
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#19
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AF Fan Group: Members Posts: 66 Joined: 6-February 12 From: Haiti |
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Feb 8 2012, 04:46 AM
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#20
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AF Fan Group: Members Posts: 66 Joined: 6-February 12 From: Haiti |
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| Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 19th May 2013 - 05:25 AM |