My Story, rate please and thank you Options

[fOrbIddEn_EvO]

ok this is my first fan fic so tell me if u like it and i'll continue posting the rest. please be honest. if u think it sucks i wont flame u for saying that. sorry its not that long and doesnt have a title.




Chapter 1

I’m beginning to understand it all. My reason for living. My reason for dreaming and being afraid. My reason for being with you. It all started on that day I was first felt alone.

February 14, 1993
(Mina's Diary)
My name is Mina. I’m three and today is my birthday. My mommy promised me today that she would take me out somewhere for lots of fun. I can’t wait. I wanted to bring my best friend Kenji but my mommy said no. It’s suppose to be a family trip. Just me and my family I can’t wait. When I get home I’m gonna tell Kenji all about it.

(Kenji’s House)
Kenji - Mommy please can I go with Mina? It’s her birthday and I wanna be with her.
Kenji asks his mom over and over as she does the dishes. His mom stops looks down at her 5 year old boy and holds his chin up.
Taka (Kenji’s Mom) - You can’t be with her.
Furious Kenji takes a step back and screams.
Kenji - Why can’t I be with her she’s my best friend and it’s her 3rd birthday?!?
Taka looks at the ground trying not to hurt her son’s feelings as she denies the truth.
Taka - Because her 3rd birthday is really special to her parents and it’s a family thing that you mustn’t interfere with.
Tears of anger begin to fall down Kenji’s face.
Kenji – You’re lying! She would include me in everything even if it’s a family thing! Taka tell me the truth!
Ignoring the fact that her son just called her by her first name she hesitantly tells the truth.
Taka – Her parents have taken her off to her aunt’s in LA.
Sad Kenji runs out the door to Mina’s house. Taka runs after him.









i'll be back on in a few days to read posts.

[Jun]

lol nice story you have there Evo
by the way have you seen armadio any where?

[fOrbIddEn_EvO]

thanks jun
i havent been on for awhile but i did pm him today




(Mina’s House)
Kenji runs faster and faster hoping that soon he will reach Mina’s house. Finally he reaches her house but he was too late. She was gone and he will never see her again. Taka goes towards her young child and holds him close while he cried for the loss of a very close friend.

(At Mina’s Aunt’s House)
Hana (Mina’s Mom) – Honey get out of the car. We’re here.
Sleepily Mine gets up and walk inside with her luggage. She walks up to the coach and falls asleep. Hana walks up to her daughter and silently weeps standing beside her daughter.
Oki (Mina’s Aunt) – What are you going to do about your investment problem.
Eizo (Mina’s Dad) – We’re going to keep working then when we get enough money we’ll come get Mina.
Oki – Hopefully it’s soon because I know that you to don’t want her to have a life without her parents.
Hana & Eizo- Right!
Hana – Don’t forget to tell her that we love her and we’ll be back soon.

But they never came back.

(Later that night)
Hana – Do you think she’ll be alright? You know being with her aunt? I just--
Eizo – It’s the only way. I know you don’t want her to get starved and live a miserable life without food and probably not even a shelter.
Suddenly a car turns on a red light and hits Eizo’s car. Ambulances come rushing faster and faster. But they were too late. They both died that night of their only daughter’s birthday.

And on that night I truly felt alone.

This post has been edited by fOrbIddEn_EvO: Jul 4 2004, 12:03 PM

[Armadio2]

Jenny thats a wonderfuly writen story. I hope I will see more of it soon, and I'm not just saying that because were bf and gf. I mean it.

This post has been edited by Armadio2: Jul 6 2004, 06:10 PM

[RockHeart]

WOW!!!! Your story writing is so awesome and tremendous....I luv it...