A Joke, Let's enjoy! Options

[KhmerLove]

Mother told her daughter, if a guy touched your hand, pls said “Don”. If he kissed u, pls said “Stop”.
One day a guy touched and kissed her at the same time. Then she said “DON STOP”.

This post has been edited by KhmerLove: Aug 5 2008, 02:30 AM

[Nikkie_nid]

Nah, you brought a Hilter's joke here?

[KhmerLove]

Nah, you brought a Hilter's joke here?

It's Hilter's Joke? I don know actually.

[preahvihear]

Mother told her daughter, if a guy touched your hand, pls said “Don”. If he kissed u, pls said “Stop”. One day a guy touched and kissed her at the same time. Then she said “DON STOP”.

Good one. Really laughed hard. Hahahha. My turn:

One day an Asian man stood in front of a public urinal, trying to take a leak. But he was having a hard time because the stream wouldn't come out. So he said, "Urgggggggggggg, Arggggggggggg" with his both hands clenching, leg spreading, and back straightening up in an upright position. Then the other men using the restroom turned to watch the Asian man and thought that the man was doing Kung Fu acts and stuff. So they all stopped doing their business and turned to watch the Asian man. Finally, when the Asian man was able to take a piss, he said, "I won!". Everyone clapped for him. Then the Asian man turned around and said, "WTF! You guys are so perverted, watching me peeing and $hit!"

[preahvihear]

I was searching on yahoo search engine for restroom jokes and found this one below:

The other stall -- This could happen to you!

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: 'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom. I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'Doin' just fine!'

And the other person says: 'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: 'Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here.'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question: 'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me. I figured I could politely end the conversation. I say: 'No........I'm a little busy right now!!!'

Then I hear the person n say, nervously:
'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!'

[Nikkie_nid]

I got mine:

A boy submitted his letter of excuse to his female teacher. She asked "What for?", the boy answered "My grandma passed away, I must attend her funeral."
The teacher lets the boy go.

Two weeks later, he submitted another excuse. The teacher asked for the reason, and the boy replied "My grandma passed away, I must attend her funeral." The teacher was quite surprised to hear that but decide to accept the boy's excuse.

Just a month later, he submitted one more excuse to attend his "grandma's funeral." The teacher became suspicious and annoyed. She shouted "The hell you think I'm stupid! Why do you got so many "grandmothers?"

The boy stands calm and replies "Go ask my grandpa!"

[KhmerLove]

Good one. Really laughed hard. Hahahha. My turn:

One day an Asian man stood in front of a public urinal, trying to take a leak. But he was having a hard time because the stream wouldn't come out. So he said, "Urgggggggggggg, Arggggggggggg" with his both hands clenching, leg spreading, and back straightening up in an upright position. Then the other men using the restroom turned to watch the Asian man and thought that the man was doing Kung Fu acts and stuff. So they all stopped doing their business and turned to watch the Asian man. Finally, when the Asian man was able to take a piss, he said, "I won!". Everyone clapped for him. Then the Asian man turned around and said, "WTF! You guys are so perverted, watching me peeing and $hit!"

Ha, it's also a great one. Eh, Why he's Asian?

[preahvihear]

I got mine:

A boy submitted his letter of excuse to his female teacher. She asked "What for?", the boy answered "My grandma passed away, I must attend her funeral."
The teacher lets the boy go.

Two weeks later, he submitted another excuse. The teacher asked for the reason, and the boy replied "My grandma passed away, I must attend her funeral." The teacher was quite surprised to hear that but decide to accept the boy's excuse.

Just a month later, he submitted one more excuse to attend his "grandma's funeral." The teacher became suspicious and annoyed. She shouted "The hell you think I'm stupid! Why do you got so many "grandmothers?"

The boy stands calm and replies "Go ask my grandpa!"

Good one there, Nikkie. Hahah I almost didn't get it untill the last part, "Go ask my grandpa". That tops it all.

[mano2mano]

good one

[preahvihear]

Ha, it's also a great one. Eh, Why he's Asian?

Come on, KhmerLove. You know everyone assumes that Asian men do Kung Fu acts. You know it all started with Bruce Lee, enter the dragon. Hahaha. Bruce Lee reminded people to always practice for scenarios that demand kung fu skills.

[KhmerLove]

Come on, KhmerLove. You know everyone assumes that Asian men do Kung Fu acts. You know it all started with Bruce Lee, enter the dragon. Hahaha. Bruce Lee reminded people to always practice for scenarios that demand kung fu skills.

Got it. Thks Guy.

[KhmerLove]

I have another one:

One day a boy said to his Dad:
I want to get married.
Dad: Oh, so do you have someone special in yr mind?
Boy: Yah, Grandma.
Dad: What? There is a problem now. You want to marry my mother?
Boy: Why not? You married my mother too.

[KhmerLove]

Good one. Really laughed hard. Hahahha. My turn:

One day an Asian man stood in front of a public urinal, trying to take a leak. But he was having a hard time because the stream wouldn't come out. So he said, "Urgggggggggggg, Arggggggggggg" with his both hands clenching, leg spreading, and back straightening up in an upright position. Then the other men using the restroom turned to watch the Asian man and thought that the man was doing Kung Fu acts and stuff. So they all stopped doing their business and turned to watch the Asian man. Finally, when the Asian man was able to take a piss, he said, "I won!". Everyone clapped for him. Then the Asian man turned around and said, "WTF! You guys are so perverted, watching me peeing and $hit!"

Oh, when he turned around, did he...zip?

[preahvihear]

Got it. Thks Guy.

This Peter Russel's joke is about a Black woman and a Chinese kid at Beijing Kentucky Fried Chicken Restaurant.

An Indian man waited in line behind a Nigerian woman in a Kentucky Friend Chicken Restaurant in Beijing, China. Then a Chinese family with a young child came in. While his mother waited in line behind the Indian man, the young child ran up to the counter and looked at the menu. Then repeatedly he turned to the line and said "N*gga", ..."N*gga"..."N*gga"... The black woman turned to the Indian man and asked, "Why don't you hit him?" The Indian man replied back, "Here is a straw, hit him yourself."

In Mandarin, the word "N*gga" means "Which one". So if a friend called to brag to you like this: "Hey I get to go out with a girl last night." You can ask for a specific girl like this: "N*gga?".

[preahvihear]

I have another one:

One day a boy said to his Dad:
I want to get married.
Dad: Oh, so do you have someone special in yr mind?
Boy: Yah, Grandma.
Dad: What? There is a problem now. You want to marry my mother?
Boy: Why not? You married my mother too.

Hahha. Oh GAWD! Hhahah.

[Nikkie_nid]

I have another one:

One day a boy said to his Dad:
I want to get married.
Dad: Oh, so do you have someone special in yr mind?
Boy: Yah, Grandma.
Dad: What? There is a problem now. You want to marry my mother?
Boy: Why not? You married my mother too.

Haha... I laughed.

REVENGE

Its a tenth wedding anniversary. The wife were greeting all her guests, so she was so busy to pick up a bottle of wisky in the warehouse. She managed to call her 8-year-old daughter to help her. She reached the warehouse, found the bottle of Whisky and heard something in the most inner part of the room. She gave a glimsp and saw her father was having an affair with the maid. She returned and told her mother everything. The wife was so angry that she would want to "revenge" her husband in public. She told his daughter to get ready and to tell the public what she saw when her mother told her to.

And then here comes to event. After the husband and wife cut their "10th anniversary" cake, the wife announces "Now, for something REALLY special."

She called her daughter and gave her the signal to speak.

The daughter was very nervous that the public laid thousand of eyes on her... she trembles, but finally speaks

"I went to the warehouse to pick up the bottle of Whisky, to find my dad were having an affair with auntie maid JUST LIKE what mother did with the uncle gardener."

That concludes the party.

[KhmerLove]

Haha... I laughed.

REVENGE

Its a tenth wedding anniversary. The wife were greeting all her guests, so she was so busy to pick up a bottle of wisky in the warehouse. She managed to call her 8-year-old daughter to help her. She reached the warehouse, found the bottle of Whisky and heard something in the most inner part of the room. She gave a glimsp and saw her father was having an affair with the maid. She returned and told her mother everything. The wife was so angry that she would want to "revenge" her husband in public. She told his daughter to get ready and to tell the public what she saw when her mother told her to.

And then here comes to event. After the husband and wife cut their "10th anniversary" cake, the wife announces "Now, for something REALLY special."

She called her daughter and gave her the signal to speak.

The daughter was very nervous that the public laid thousand of eyes on her... she trembles, but finally speaks

"I went to the warehouse to pick up the bottle of Whisky, to find my dad were having an affair with auntie maid JUST LIKE what mother did with the uncle gardener."

That concludes the party.

Pretty Good

[BrooklynCarter]

lol that's hilarious ^^ pretty good

[KhmerLove]

one more:

A Man in Library

What time does the library open? The voice on the phone asked.

“Nine A.M.” came the reply. And what is the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask such a question? Asked the librarian.

“Not until nine A.M.?” the man asked in a disappointed voice.“No, not till nine A.M..!”

the librarian said, “Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?”

“Who said I wanted to get in? The man sighed sadly. “I want to get out.”

[Nikkie_nid]

Lolz...

Here are some more

This is a letter of a girl who studied in Phnom Penh, send to her father who lived in Kompong Cham

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Rith because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Rith and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Rith said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Rith is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree? Rith is unemployed. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Rith taught me that he doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Rith can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 18 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your loving daughter,

Ream.

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm not studying at the university now. I just wanted to remind you that I failed the BACII exam and ready to return home. Call me when it is safe for me to come home. I love you dad !!!