Interracial Marriage, the last stage of integration Options

[orangeman21]

We're not suppose to spread it or try to teach it, people are suppose to be determined in favor of learning it themselves. Why force something on people that they dont want to learn? Hey man when it comes down to shamanism we do things that some people will never accept. Your sixteen and havent really seem a lot of things that we do in our culture and religion. Our parents knows how to do things that they dont even want to show us. Thats y its better to marry outside of race, but i'm not stopping you just dont stop who or being what you are.

so u think im some sixteen year old kid who doesnt know anything but how to type? you dont know anything about me so i'd appreciate it if you wouldnt assume such things, you dont see me calling people young and dumb do u? and as far as shamanism and our parents go, maybe its not that they "dont want to show us" but its really that you "lack interest" in it. please feel free to tell me if i am wrong.

Plus the reason y our parents dont want us to marry outside of our race is because we dont have a country where their will be hmong forever. Look at all other race if they do marry outside of their race they will always have their country 2 perserve their culture and religion. If we were to marry outside of hmong on culture and religion will die in another 100 years........

im glad you understand that. but u obviously believe its better to marry outside of ur own race. so i guess what you just said does not impact you the way it does me does it?

[HmOnG_BbOy]

so u think im some sixteen year old kid who doesnt know anything but how to type? you dont know anything about me so i'd appreciate it if you wouldnt assume such things, you dont see me calling people young and dumb do u? and as far as shamanism and our parents go, maybe its not that they "dont want to show us" but its really that you "lack interest" in it. please feel free to tell me if i am wrong.
im glad you understand that. but u obviously believe its better to marry outside of ur own race. so i guess what you just said does not impact you the way it does me does it?

There are stuff that our parents dont want to show us. Hmong people knows black magic and hardly performs it unless it is in desperate times. And no I dont really lack interest in my culture or religion anymore i thought it was once stupid but know i find it interesting. Learning about my parents past about how they out ran the viet congs, my father almost got shot as he fought his way out of the jungle makes me want to learn even more about hmong. But college stands in the way and its hard to do both since college is very difficult. Rite now i'm just trying to learn the thank you words for funeral. Its when someone gives you money and you say some words and you bow and say thank you. Hahahahha......i also need to learn how to say the new years words........so yeah i dont really lack interest......

Man if you are sixteen were you raised like me dang i got it rough as a kid man while living in the ghetto's dude. I was raised old school way but it eventually stopped as i grew older, thats y i try to stay away from interracial marriage..........

[Liberi Fatali]

We're not suppose to spread it or try to teach it, people are suppose to be determined in favor of learning it themselves. Why force something on people that they dont want to learn? Hey man when it comes down to shamanism we do things that some people will never accept. Your sixteen and havent really seem a lot of things that we do in our culture and religion. Our parents knows how to do things that they dont even want to show us. Thats y its better to marry outside of race, but i'm not stopping you just dont stop who or being what you are.

Plus the reason y our parents dont want us to marry outside of our race is because we dont have a country where their will be hmong forever. Look at all other race if they do marry outside of their race they will always have their country 2 perserve their culture and religion. If we were to marry outside of hmong on culture and religion will die in another 100 years........

I disagree, whenever in history did people decide to just take an interest in other situation than their very own, or ones that involved them? No one is going to suddenly just think to themselves that they are going to go and learn everything there is in the Hmong culture unless there is an influence of some sort.

[HmOnG_BbOy]

I disagree, whenever in history did people decide to just take an interest in other situation than their very own, or ones that involved them? No one is going to suddenly just think to themselves that they are going to go and learn everything there is in the Hmong culture unless there is an influence of some sort.

Well not everyone has interest in themselves. If I only did have interest in myself then i wouldnt be in college, I would be one of those person who work at a low paying job just to get by life. Yes there is people who just suddenly think to themselves that they will go learn everything or something about the hmong culture without any influence.......there's another topic on this forum which a hmong person states that he wanted to learn the hmong ways.....

[orangeman21]

YOU TOTALLY CONTRADICT YOURSELF.

Thats y its better to marry outside of race, but i'm not stopping you just dont stop who or being what you are.

thats y i try to stay away from interracial marriage..........

[orangeman21]

There are stuff that our parents dont want to show us. Hmong people knows black magic and hardly performs it unless it is in desperate times. And no I dont really lack interest in my culture or religion anymore i thought it was once stupid but know i find it interesting. Learning about my parents past about how they out ran the viet congs, my father almost got shot as he fought his way out of the jungle makes me want to learn even more about hmong. But college stands in the way and its hard to do both since college is very difficult. Rite now i'm just trying to learn the thank you words for funeral. Its when someone gives you money and you say some words and you bow and say thank you. Hahahahha......i also need to learn how to say the new years words........so yeah i dont really lack interest......

i know it is difficult in here n america, back then there was much more time to learn everything. but good for u, good to know you still value our traditions. u'll have to work hard to learn the songs but if hmong people have been doing it for ages so can u. good luck!

I hope you're not implying that i'm dumb or blind...

of course not, this is a debate, you dont personally attack people. what i meant was simply that you and i live different lifestyles, things that impact me may not have any impact on you.

[Liberi Fatali]

Well not everyone has interest in themselves. If I only did have interest in myself then i wouldnt be in college, I would be one of those person who work at a low paying job just to get by life. Yes there is people who just suddenly think to themselves that they will go learn everything or something about the hmong culture without any influence.......there's another topic on this forum which a hmong person states that he wanted to learn the hmong ways.....

You're in college because you have an interest in yourself. You are attempting to learn and improve yourself into a better person and to easier find yourself a well-paying job. College, schools, education, even work and jobs are all a competition of the best. You're always competing with someone for a position. You're doing all this because you are expecting to further empower yourself. This is a type of self-interest. Self-interest doesn't necessarily have to be something that is considered selfish. Self-interest just simply means that you invest yourself, your money, or even your energy to something that is better in your favor.

The person that stated that he wanted to educate himself more about the Hmong tradition is Hmong, that right there is an extremely powerful influence. He's Hmong. Sorry if I didn't make it clear enough. An influence that I was speaking about is anything that'll spark an interest. No one can attempt to learn anything if they have not even a slight knowledge of the subject, correct? Hmong is not a majority race within the minorities, I hate using the term: "minority", so it is not as easily to find the resources to learn about Hmong as we would if we was to try and learn about Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, etc.

[HmOnG_BbOy]

YOU TOTALLY CONTRADICT YOURSELF.

my bad lol..........my bad that i contradicted myself i type too fast and have a bad keyboard lol......sometimes what i'm think and what i'm typing comes out too different things.......

You're in college because you have an interest in yourself. You are attempting to learn and improve yourself into a better person and to easier find yourself a well-paying job. College, schools, education, even work and jobs are all a competition of the best. You're always competing with someone for a position. You're doing all this because you are expecting to further empower yourself. This is a type of self-interest. Self-interest doesn't necessarily have to be something that is considered selfish. Self-interest just simply means that you invest yourself, your money, or even your energy to something that is better in your favor.

The person that stated that he wanted to educate himself more about the Hmong tradition is Hmong, that right there is an extremely powerful influence. He's Hmong. Sorry if I didn't make it clear enough. An influence that I was speaking about is anything that'll spark an interest. No one can attempt to learn anything if they have not even a slight knowledge of the subject, correct? Hmong is not a majority race within the minorities, I hate using the term: "minority", so it is not as easily to find the resources to learn about Hmong as we would if we was to try and learn about Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, etc.

No I dont believe that i'm going to college for myself well kinda but not really i'm going to college for my parents. If my parents werent around to push me into college maybe i would've been a slob for like 2-3 years then go to college but yeah you are kinda rite bout what you posted about me kinda wanna better myself.

Just because your hmong doesnt mean anything. Yeah i'm hmong and I want to learn about my hmong culture, this is my main reason for learning about my culture. But just because your hmong doesnt mean SHHiiiIITTT, y do you think we use the term white wash man. Look at all those hmong out there that doesnt even want to be hmong anymore but american. They're hmong but i dont c them learning hmong culture I see them throwing it away and embracing another culture.

[princess]

. But just because your hmong doesnt mean SHHiiiIITTT, y do you think we use the term white wash man. Look at all those hmong out there that doesnt even want to be hmong anymore but american. They're hmong but i dont c them learning hmong culture I see them throwing it away and embracing another culture.

I never really understood the term "white wash" b/c people have always preceed me as so...but that never meant that I threw away my culture or anything...most of the hmong people at my high school considered me as such b/c I was different...I did good in school for me, and I hung out with those that had the same interet has me, and I really didn't hung out with the hmongs in my school b/c we never had any of the same interest...I was into literature and they were into dating...I was always better than them, and I knew it b/c I did great in school was well known around my hmong community for more than just another wannabee bad @$$ girl...
But back to the topic as far as interracial marriage...i'm perfectly fine with it...b/c no one can say that being with your own makes you so much happier b/c they understand you more...I've seen it...an example: my parents have been married for about 30 years and yet my mother still don't understand my father as well as she should...

[orangeman21]

I never really understood the term "white wash" b/c people have always preceed me as so...but that never meant that I threw away my culture or anything...most of the hmong people at my high school considered me as such b/c I was different...I did good in school for me, and I hung out with those that had the same interet has me, and I really didn't hung out with the hmongs in my school b/c we never had any of the same interest...I was into literature and they were into dating...I was always better than them, and I knew it b/c I did great in school was well known around my hmong community for more than just another wannabee bad @$$ girl...
But back to the topic as far as interracial marriage...i'm perfectly fine with it...b/c no one can say that being with your own makes you so much happier b/c they understand you more...I've seen it...an example: my parents have been married for about 30 years and yet my mother still don't understand my father as well as she should...

To me, white washed = unable to speak hmong (stutters terribly), ashamed to be hmong, knows nothing about hmong history/culture, and never been a victim of racial discrimination, thinks he/she is a "better" person because he/she has white friends, likes to think he/she is "americanized" rather than really "white washed."
Maybe some people throw the term "white wash" around carelessly and you happen to have been a victim to it, or maybe there is some good reason why you have been called "white wash." Whether you are any of this or not, I do not know but I will make no ignorant conclusion.

Growing up I've always seen white people looking down upon my people and any people of color; they still do today. It can be plain and blunt or disguised and concealed. You don't forget it when a white person calls you a "chinese", "g@@k", "j a p" etc. It makes you realize that racism is REAL whether you choose to believe it or not. Some people just ignore the problem because where they live, racism isn't a problem; people are supposedly past these colors. And to the people like me, the ones who have to deal with it so routinely, how is ignorance this helping us? It's not! You see, because some people are privileged with nice neighborhoods, they do not care about those in the ghetto.

My parents, brothers, sisters, friends and myself have been the victims of this racist society. We all have to look after each other to survive. What will it be if I'm suddenly dating a white person? Betrayal to my people as well as myself that's what it is. You have to understand that racist america outnumbers good america! And there has to be justice before we can say everything is fine!

People DO understand each other more when you are from the same group. You argument does not fit the topic here. What you are talking about is something that no human being can do, which is to read another person's mind. Of course in that case it doesnt matter which group you're from. Look at it this way, will a typical white person understand why hmong sons live with their parents (at least for a while anyway) when they get married? Or why we pay the bride's family a price? This is what I'm talking about.

[princess]

People DO understand each other more when you are from the same group. You argument does not fit the topic here. What you are talking about is something that no human being can do, which is to read another person's mind. Of course in that case it doesnt matter which group you're from. Look at it this way, will a typical white person understand why hmong sons live with their parents (at least for a while anyway) when they get married? Or why we pay the bride's family a price? This is what I'm talking about.

I don't remember suggestion that people of the world should read minds, but you can't possibly just say that being with only one type of people whether that be race, nationality, and ethicity is bound to make you happy. Honestly, if the white guy/gal really wants to be with a hmong guy/gal then they will make an effort to understand and accept it.

[orangeman21]

I don't remember suggestion that people of the world should read minds, but you can't possibly just say that being with only one type of people whether that be race, nationality, and ethicity is bound to make you happy. Honestly, if the white guy/gal really wants to be with a hmong guy/gal then they will make an effort to understand and accept it.

the kind of "understanding" you are talking about is a man's ability to know his woman's personal feelings, vice versa. thus i said mind reading. how your mom doesnt understand your father 'the way she should' is a personal issue like what i just mentioned, and not what i am talking about here. for example, i may not be able to understand why a girl loves fashion or diamonds so much, but i understand her culture and traditions because i have the same one.

and no i was not the one to say that being with only one type of people whether that be race, nationality, and ethnicity is bound to make you happy. no person should be naive enough to say that you are going to be happy simply because u stay within ur group. what i c is more conflict and sacrifice being with a member of a different group.

[orangeman21]

Princess, take a look at this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAOnsqz8Zg8

about 50 seconds in you'll c a guy, listen to his words. couldn't have put it better myself. except every time he says "black" i'd say "hmong."

This post has been edited by orangeman21: Jan 13 2007, 11:43 PM

[AMAR420]

I would never marry a non Indian non North Indian non Panjabi

I don't know I think my own kind is just the hottest...lol

but I have dated white, korean , mixed etc

but I wouldn't marry 'em thats for sure

This post has been edited by AMAR420: Jan 13 2007, 11:52 PM

[april_inc]

what's there to be against? i see nothing wrong with interracial marriages. i think people enjoy making themselves miserable by creating illusions to make their lives meaningful. sure i'm for hmong culture; but before you go jumping on my tail about how this is the END of hmong culture, remember that people die, not culture. so yeah.

i don't see what's so complex and hidden that only the thread starter can see. if you want to pick apart everyone who has an opinion, i think you ought to explain to us where the complexities exist.

and before you go on to racism, you should understand that none of us escapes it (if it indeed exist).

[feiying]

Hmong people in America are doing OK. They have the lowest interracial marriage of all Asian groups. Based on US Census stats., here are some figures (2000):

95.1% of Hmong men are married to Hmong women. 1% are married to white women. 2.6% are married to other nationality Asian women.

92.2% of Hmong women are married to Hmong men. 1.4% are married to white men. 4.6% are married to other nationality Asian men.

You guys are doing good compared to the rest of us other Asians. Your own women are not selling out as much, so you can continue to keep and expand the culture in America.

[JandY]

Hmm... as far as 'interracial marriages' i'm not so sure yet, i don't have a complete 'yes' or 'no' answer yet... currently dating a azn guy - but he's not hmong... -_- i don't know if its right, somehow it doesn't seem right - but i'm just waiting to see what comes of our relationship -_- i don't know if i love him, but i just kow that i care about him & it completely different from 'love' .......again, i wonder if it would be better if not just different if i were with a hmong guy... it looks interesting, but nerve-racking at the same time... cuz hmong parents in particular, critisize way too much... i think >_<

-sigh- if only i didn't know how to love -__- then i wouldn't be miserable like this -.- i guess just being by myself would be best >_< anywho, for those out there - i won't say anything, do as your hearts desire... if your heart is calling for u to find a spouse who is hmong, go for that. Be careful with whoever you choose to spend the rest of your life with if not, then a good portion of your life. Serious relationships is a fragile thing .__. most people know this fact tho

[variety]

There's not wrong with it. It brings this country closer, just not the ethnic groups but the country. It is like segregation between Hmong Leng and Hmong White. Is it wrong to marry someone outside of the dialect? Just like that. It isn't wrong because that person is someone who you love and care about, you chose them for who they are not because their race, color, dialects, and many more.

[nsk]

I say, "Marry whoever makes you the happiest, whether they be Hmong, White, Blacks, whatever!" Our culture will not die because we marry outside our race. Our culture will only die, if we do not teach our children. I know people who are married to a Hmong guy/girl and their children don't speak Hmong, they don't go to the New Years or any Hmong family gatherings.

I, myself is Hmong and am married to a white guy. We've been married for almost 14 years. We have four children together. To us, each day is a new day. Unfortunately, my kids don't speak Hmong either. I speak very little Hmong myself so I just find it easier to speak to them in English. I still take them and my husband to all the Hmong New Years, they know where I come from, and they're not ashame of being what some would call "half breeds".

So to those that believe the Hmong culture will die because too many of us are going outside our race, this is all I have to say...Our children will now have two cultures instead of one. They will have twice the opportunity, instead of one. If we, as parents teach our kids both cultures, they will be able to interact with both cultures and not be ashame.

If you ask my kids what nationality they are, they will tell you that they are Hmong and White, no shame. They all have White friends and Hmong friends. My girls enjoy wearing the Hmong clothes for New Years, they like papaya salad and they also enjoy Christmas, Thanksgiving, all the White holidays.... My husband respects me and my culture and I respect his. You are who you choose to be, not who you marry.

[kauzilla]

What do you think about interracial marriage? Before you answer, I want you to consider a person who's group is the minority in an racially unbalanced community where he is constantly subjected to racial discrimination upon by the majority; regardless of the majority whether they're white, black, asian, etc., think about how he would feel regarding this subject. Second, consider a person in a balanced community where he seems to be treated fairly and has friends beyond his comfortable racial zone, in other words he is "color-blind." How would he feel about this subject? Finally, consider a person who knows both these worlds, and is only trying to live his/her life as a human being.

Most people in the last case would be for interracial marriage because they see it as perfectly okay. But things are more complicated than they seem. Interracial marriage seems to be more and more on the rise, so I ask this question not only about people as a whole, but especially for the Hmong people with our ethnic minority status, values, traditions, etc. This may be irrelevant to some but I'd like to stress that the Hmong population in the U.S. is approximately 300,000.

I am against interracial marriages. I would like to see what everyone thinks and also to share my opinion so everyone can get a better understanding of the subject at hand.

#1)
---in this case i would say no to interriacial marriage because if there's barely any of your kind, you should stick to your own kind and make more if it instead of marry someone else from a different race. its like why should you not try to keep your kind alive or keep extending it, instead of mixing it. plus if you dont keep your race alive .. who will? gotta work together and keep producing!! yeahhh!! LOL
#2)
--i think it wouldn't matter because that person would see everyone as the same no different from one another. to them if they were to have an interracial marriage or not, it'll just be the same to them because they wouldn't see anyone as different or better as anyone else
#3)
---interracial marriage or not it doesnt matter.. .as long as you find the right person for you and you are satisfy with it then its settle. a human being is a human being and his/her race shouldn't make a difference =) just follow your heart and whatever works for you go for it =) ..................plus i luv my armenian bf =) hehehe