AsiaFinest Forum
Ad: 123Designing.com

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

6 Pages V  < 1 2 3 4 5 > »   
Reply to this topicStart new topic
Interracial Marriage, the last stage of integration
californiagrl
post May 30 2007, 02:36 AM
Post #41


AF Geek
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 139
Joined: 10-June 06




QUOTE(orangeman21 @ Jan 9 2007, 08:22 PM) [snapback]2638314[/snapback]
People DO understand each other more when you are from the same group. You argument does not fit the topic here. What you are talking about is something that no human being can do, which is to read another person's mind. Of course in that case it doesnt matter which group you're from. Look at it this way, will a typical white person understand why hmong sons live with their parents (at least for a while anyway) when they get married? Or why we pay the bride's family a price? This is what I'm talking about.


Yeah my bf is white and he understands my culture...we understand eachother and it all has to do with "communication"
it doesnt always have to deal with being in the same race. But I do understand it may be easier to be with someone with the same race and they understanding the language and traditions. But that shouldnt be a burden to not date anyone out of your race. I've always spoke english my whole life and I was a victim of racism...I know interracial dating is a controversial topic here and I understand that some of you dont like it. But I am totally for it, it has nothing to do with producing mixed children but being with someone you love no matter what race they are. Many of us see beauty in other races but it doesnt mean we do not like our own.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
corky
post May 30 2007, 02:40 AM
Post #42


AF Elite
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 8,794
Joined: 10-July 05
From: here to eternity




QUOTE(orangeman21 @ Dec 7 2006, 09:12 AM) [snapback]2547976[/snapback]
What do you think about interracial marriage? Before you answer, I want you to consider a person who's group is the minority in an racially unbalanced community where he is constantly subjected to racial discrimination upon by the majority; regardless of the majority whether they're white, black, asian, etc.,

thats me
QUOTE
think about how he would feel regarding this subject.

i am indifferent to this subject
QUOTE
Second, consider a person in a balanced community where he seems to be treated fairly and has friends beyond his comfortable racial zone, in other words he is "color-blind." How would he feel about this subject? Finally, consider a person who knows both these worlds, and is only trying to live his/her life as a human being.

dosnt exist
QUOTE
Most people in the last case would be for interracial marriage because they see it as perfectly okay. But things are more complicated than they seem. Interracial marriage seems to be more and more on the rise, so I ask this question not only about people as a whole, but especially for the Hmong people with our ethnic minority status, values, traditions, etc. This may be irrelevant to some but I'd like to stress that the Hmong population in the U.S. is approximately 300,000.
I am against interracial marriages. I would like to see what everyone thinks and also to share my opinion so everyone can get a better understanding of the subject at hand.

i love my interracisl mariage, i am completely uninterested in anyone elses.
my marriage was the best thing to ever happen to me, regardless of races involved. there has to be a disticntion between healthy relationships that happen to be interacial, and relationships set up by lies betwen racial divides.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
beaudelaire
post May 30 2007, 08:14 AM
Post #43


AF Fiend
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 321
Joined: 11-December 04
From: france marseille




QUOTE(princess @ Jan 9 2007, 04:43 PM) [snapback]2637196[/snapback]
I never really understood the term "white wash" b/c people have always preceed me as so...but that never meant that I threw away my culture or anything...most of the hmong people at my high school considered me as such b/c I was different...I did good in school for me, and I hung out with those that had the same interet has me, and I really didn't hung out with the hmongs in my school b/c we never had any of the same interest...I was into literature and they were into dating...I was always better than them, and I knew it b/c I did great in school was well known around my hmong community for more than just another wannabee bad @$$ girl...
But back to the topic as far as interracial marriage...i'm perfectly fine with it...b/c no one can say that being with your own makes you so much happier b/c they understand you more...I've seen it...an example: my parents have been married for about 30 years and yet my mother still don't understand my father as well as she should...


oh i almost have the same life.. but where i live there's no hmong only white french people..here if you want to meet any hmong it's only at parties or everything like that..i stop hanging out with them because we didn't have the same interest...and a lot were already married at 16 ,17 at that time...
it's not like in usa where you can have cities with thousand of hmong here it's only a dozen sometime a lil bit more just depend...
so interracial marriage or relationship is not a big deal even if after that there's still a stupid old woman to say why is he dating a white girl or a viet,chinese,arabic.....
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
yajthaugluv
post May 30 2007, 04:09 PM
Post #44


AF Pro
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 2,085
Joined: 25-August 04
From: Polaris




People these days don't see what's more important to them anymore. Happiness is all they can think of even if it's short lived. There's always a down side to interracial marriages as a person does not get the same support system as one that isn't inter racially married. People like to think of just themselves while excluding all others. This is the new generation...

This post has been edited by yajthaugluv: May 30 2007, 04:10 PM
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
FlawedDesign
post May 30 2007, 07:56 PM
Post #45


AF Geek
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 229
Joined: 16-May 07




lol @ Asian girls patting themselves on the back for being open minded enough to date a white boyfriend/husband. Give me a break.

As always, the topic of 'interracial' marriages has nothing to do with interracial marriages and everything to do with an Asian woman's need to have a white partner.

This post has been edited by FlawedDesign: May 30 2007, 07:57 PM
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
uwag_davao
post May 30 2007, 08:43 PM
Post #46


AF Addict
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 535
Joined: 22-January 07
From: maybe aliyah soon ?




QUOTE(FlawedDesign @ May 30 2007, 07:56 PM) [snapback]2974303[/snapback]
lol @ Asian girls patting themselves on the back for being open minded enough to date a white boyfriend/husband. Give me a break.

As always, the topic of 'interracial' marriages has nothing to do with interracial marriages and everything to do with an Asian woman's need to have a white partner.



exactly. Asian women have genetic interests towards whites. They're just too shy to admit it :p
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
californiagrl
post May 30 2007, 11:44 PM
Post #47


AF Geek
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 139
Joined: 10-June 06




^yeah cause white boys are cute and the one Im with treat me really good...I've dated other races but always end up going back to the white boys...but its not a NEED to have a white boy I just have better relationships with them.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
HmOnG_BbOy
post Jun 1 2007, 01:16 AM
Post #48


AF Geek
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 164
Joined: 3-June 05




QUOTE(californiagrl @ May 30 2007, 11:44 PM) [snapback]2974732[/snapback]
^yeah cause white boys are cute and the one Im with treat me really good...I've dated other races but always end up going back to the white boys...but its not a NEED to have a white boy I just have better relationships with them.

The thing is can you keep ur culture and religion alive with mix blooded children........parents fear that the hmong culture will perish thats y that dont really accept interracial marriage............hmong parents arent as stupid as you think........they look and they see that time are changing and hope that they can perserve their legacy...........but if you want to do force marriage then do it.............no one stopping you.........
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
orchid01
post Jun 1 2007, 03:43 PM
Post #49


AF Fan
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 89
Joined: 1-June 07




I dont have anything against interracial marriage...im dating a caucasian guy and he totally respects my culture and I respect his religion and values. Just as long there is an understanding between interracial couples. I hope that people dont think that just because a man or a woman is dating out of their race doesnt mean that their own culture is going to die out. just know that their own blood is going to run through their children's children and so on. But its totally understandable that our grandparents are going to be more strict about it because i think they arent as open as the new generation kids are, I guess I can say that "some" of us dont really follow every tradition in our culture but at least we will be carrying our culture onto other cultures as well.

This post has been edited by orchid01: Jun 1 2007, 03:44 PM
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
yajthaugluv
post Jun 1 2007, 11:18 PM
Post #50


AF Pro
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 2,085
Joined: 25-August 04
From: Polaris




Like crown jewels, parents fear the worst for their children. Many of you like to think that you'll be planting your culture by marrying an outsider but that's not true. Your culture dilutes over time... The most you could have achieve is raise awareness about your culture. If your culture is not even practice than there's no use for it.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Nat05
post Jul 3 2007, 11:29 AM
Post #51


Newbie
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 5
Joined: 1-July 07




QUOTE(sbeechan @ Dec 19 2006, 09:53 AM) [snapback]2583278[/snapback]
^Maybe because hmong people marry earlier than other Asians that's why they tend to stick to their ethnicity.

I know growing up, I sticked to asians. Throughout high school, we were just an asian clique... but once you go to college, find a job, etc., you become friends with others ethnic...


Actually I have to correct you on one thing.. Today many hmong people don't marry early like they use to 10 years ago. (At least in my State (California) I, myself did not get married until I was 23. My 3 siblings are still single and they range between the ages of 25-29. Marriage has total different meaning to people today viruses 10 years ago....

As for interracial relationships.. It doesn't bother me. Maybe because I live in the most diverse city in the state of California and probably even throughout the US. BUT even if my city was not considered the most diverse city, I would still be for it. IF YOU ARE HAPPY & LOVE EM- KEEP ON DOING IT! COS THAT'S ALL THAT SHOULD MATTER TO YOU...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
kissmesweet
post Jul 6 2007, 01:51 AM
Post #52


AF Fan
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 33
Joined: 30-June 07




I'd go for interracial marriage, i dont think it has nothing to deal with not wanting to pass down your ethnicity but being with someone you love. It shouldnt matter what ethnicity you are just as long as you are happy with that person.

This post has been edited by kissmesweet: Jul 6 2007, 01:51 AM
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
princess
post Jul 11 2007, 09:30 PM
Post #53


AF Addict
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 704
Joined: 4-December 05





LOL...I guess I've been so defensive about the wrong thing because a lot of hmong people that I come across don't really like marrying outside at all, even if your partner is asian they stilll think "oh look at that girl, she's bad b/c her bf isn't hmong". I even got a, "he doesn't understand our culture and the fact that he is requried to help around when he's at one of our functions" from my aunite. Of course, she was proven wrong when my guy folded paper, made egg rolls, chopped meat and veggie without me having to say a word to him. Besides, my guy loves my family, whenever he comes to see me at school we always spend the days with my brothers. He treats them like his own family, he buys them food, cooks for them, and helps them set up their things. He's bascially a big brother to them. Whenever I worry about the amount he spends he always tells me, "we need to love our family, and we need to do as much as we can for them." So is it wrong to love such a person?

To yajthaugluv:

You are right, I agree, with today's generation we do anything to make us happy. We tend to be more selfish. However, there is a bad side to every relationship. The most important thing in any relationship is honesty and communication. There is no promise that, by marrying a hmong guy you'll get the emotional support that you need and in the end you would live happily ever after. If that were true, then hmong men would not marry as many wives as they do, nor would they divorce. I'm not saying that all hmong guys are bad, i'm just saying we're all human, we all handle our relationships based upon our experiences and our values. It has nothing to do with the fact that just because one is of a certain ethinicity or race would they be able to be more compatible with a certain person.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
yajthaugluv
post Jul 18 2007, 03:00 AM
Post #54


AF Pro
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 2,085
Joined: 25-August 04
From: Polaris




Isn't it more riskier and problematic with interracial marriage? Just what kind of language you speak anyways? Even communications with our own native tongue, there's never a perfect communication, wouldn't you say that it's even worst communicating with someone other than yourself? I'm just stating that it's even more blinding to think and believe that marrying your own vs marrying someone outside pose the same risk. One thing we all should learn is to anticipate problems on the long run. After all, we can never be to happy in our life, some things are just too good to be true.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
princess
post Jul 26 2007, 09:15 AM
Post #55


AF Addict
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 704
Joined: 4-December 05




QUOTE(yajthaugluv @ Jul 18 2007, 04:00 AM) [snapback]3068727[/snapback]
Isn't it more riskier and problematic with interracial marriage? Just what kind of language you speak anyways? Even communications with our own native tongue, there's never a perfect communication, wouldn't you say that it's even worst communicating with someone other than yourself? I'm just stating that it's even more blinding to think and believe that marrying your own vs marrying someone outside pose the same risk. One thing we all should learn is to anticipate problems on the long run. After all, we can never be to happy in our life, some things are just too good to be true.


I speak hmong and english. I know what the ups and downs are if i marry him, but I'm not going to back out of it even though it might be a bit different if i marry a hmong guy. You are right communication is not always perfect, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible to have a good relationship. It might be a bit harder when trying to explain cultuers and ideal moral and values, but it's still possible to get it through to him. I know that in the long run there's always going to be a problem popping out somewhere, but i'm not going to run away just because of it. And although happiness cannot occur everyday, as long as it occurs almost everyday then that would been good enough for me. I know that only happily ever afters happens only in fairy tales, and life is very different from story books.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
jroe
post Jul 28 2007, 08:59 AM
Post #56


Newbie
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 3
Joined: 28-July 07




hmm, don't be against interracial marriages, that would be very anti-american. most american immigrants act like many of you on this forum, regardless of ethnicity when they come to america... xenophobic and fear losing their culture. however, how many hmong married couples do you know that speak english 90% of the time, name their kids after biblical names (even if shaman) and dress american.

do you dress american, or do you wear your traditional clothes everyday? be honest with yourself. are you dressed traditional at this very moment? no? then you might be more american then you think.

besides, interracial might not be the best word you are looking for. do you support hmong marrying chinese or japanese? why? because they are the same race? what about if they are westernized?

i think what you mean is not interracial but marrying hmong only. i am miskaj and more traditional than many hmong i meet lol, since i am taking an effort to learn the language and enjoy culture.

so if you are against interracial marriages, you are going to face many unwanted problems down the road. are you going to disowned future kids for marrying a miskaj? is that love? is that life? is that what hmong is? or should you marrying someone who embraces you, loves you and also enjoys your culture?

ask yourself, how americanized are you, before picking on interracial couples.

do you drive a car? well... thats a nice american feature
do you use the internet and computer, or how did you type this?
do you speak english? hmm it looks like it!
are you dressed in your traditional outfit everyday or do you call it your "new years outfit mom makes me wear"?

can you write hmong fluently, can you even speak it fluently? can you speak it fluently to elders? yes? no? well if you can't, then do you have a write to complain about the quality of americans?

do you know your history? are you helping those stuck in laos, or sitting on a computer?

sorry but i support interracial marriages, but i do not support assimilation. it is up to you, as a person, student and even parents to keep traditions alive. once YOU stop practicing them, then you contribute to the disapearing of your culture... not because of interracial marriages. lastly, if you are against racism, discrimination and rednecks, then you should support interracial marriages otherwise you are a hypocrite.

This post has been edited by jroe: Jul 28 2007, 09:00 AM
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
bikerx
post Jul 30 2007, 12:56 PM
Post #57


Newbie
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 13
Joined: 25-February 07




i wanna marry a black girl....cause i like it ghetto
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
xeemlauj
post Aug 11 2007, 06:26 AM
Post #58


AF Guru
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 3,156
Joined: 11-August 07
From: Dark corner of my room.




i am against interracial marriage because i believe people should stick to their own kinds. you may think im ethnocentric, racist or a dumb scum who thinks his own people should stick together and make one homogenous pile of people but i am just trying to tell you that interracial marriages don't work. interracial marriage is not what you think it is. you may think interracial marriage is okay if you can communicate, but what about cultural values and morals?

i guess the hardest part is cultural differences.. you see, my sister is married to a japanese/filipino/hawaiian guy. they have two adorable babies which i love and will continue to love until they're old because they're part of my family.

the only thing suck about it is my bro in law. in hmong tradition and culture, people get up early to go prepare and help out during family gathering. my bro in law thinks that getting up early is ridiculous and he doesn't understand why we have to do thing so early. he even said 11am is early. okay??????? it's almost afternoon, like get up and help the family.

second, he doesn't know how hmong culture work, when your parents take care of you kids while you go to work, you should appreciate and give them some money for taking care of your kids. you do know that child day care cost 700 or so. my bro in law got mad because he doesn't understand why my mon wants money. HELLO, my mom have a life too.. taking care of a child is hard and it's like having another job. my mom didn't volunteer to take care of their children.. my mom take care because they have work and putting in daycare eventually costs more than what my mom asked for. my mom only asked for 100 buck or so. that's one thing he doesn't know, and it's APPRECIATION...

third, everytime when my family have gathering, he always seem mad or he sometimes never want to show up.... but when it comes to his family, he expects my sister to be there or he expects everyone to be there.. like, WTF....

fourth, my sister and my bro in law have great communication, they speak perfect english, my sister is very fluent in english and she is like my english teacher because she often correct my papers. anyways, i thought they have good communication which they did, but they didn't realize that there are cultural differences.. my bro in law is americanized and my sister is traditional yet we're atheist. we're traditional like getting up early, respecting the elders, etc...

anyways, lastly, most interracial relationships dont last long because often time people prefer their own race or group. i've noticed that since there were two white guys who speak fluent hmong and they eventually exposed themselves that they don't want to marry hmong girls because ... BLAH BLAH.. they said they prefer marrying white chicks.

....etc.. long story.. anyways, i was shocked.. they speak hmong, hang out with hmong, dress hmong clothes and yes, they try to tell me my hmong culture is primitive.. they're mormon.. LOL..

anyways, INTERRACIAL MARRIAGEs don't work..... there are more to it but i guess some folks didn't care to read what i have to say.. oh well, if you read to this point.. good for you..

ahaha bye.. laugh.gif


This post has been edited by xeemlauj: Aug 11 2007, 06:28 AM
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
princess
post Aug 12 2007, 01:26 PM
Post #59


AF Addict
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 704
Joined: 4-December 05




QUOTE(xeemlauj @ Aug 11 2007, 07:26 AM) [snapback]3125998[/snapback]
i am against interracial marriage because i believe people should stick to their own kinds. you may think im ethnocentric, racist or a dumb scum who thinks his own people should stick together and make one homogenous pile of people but i am just trying to tell you that interracial marriages don't work. interracial marriage is not what you think it is. you may think interracial marriage is okay if you can communicate, but what about cultural values and morals?

i guess the hardest part is cultural differences.. you see, my sister is married to a japanese/filipino/hawaiian guy. they have two adorable babies which i love and will continue to love until they're old because they're part of my family.

the only thing suck about it is my bro in law. in hmong tradition and culture, people get up early to go prepare and help out during family gathering. my bro in law thinks that getting up early is ridiculous and he doesn't understand why we have to do thing so early. he even said 11am is early. okay??????? it's almost afternoon, like get up and help the family.

second, he doesn't know how hmong culture work, when your parents take care of you kids while you go to work, you should appreciate and give them some money for taking care of your kids. you do know that child day care cost 700 or so. my bro in law got mad because he doesn't understand why my mon wants money. HELLO, my mom have a life too.. taking care of a child is hard and it's like having another job. my mom didn't volunteer to take care of their children.. my mom take care because they have work and putting in daycare eventually costs more than what my mom asked for. my mom only asked for 100 buck or so. that's one thing he doesn't know, and it's APPRECIATION...

third, everytime when my family have gathering, he always seem mad or he sometimes never want to show up.... but when it comes to his family, he expects my sister to be there or he expects everyone to be there.. like, WTF....

fourth, my sister and my bro in law have great communication, they speak perfect english, my sister is very fluent in english and she is like my english teacher because she often correct my papers. anyways, i thought they have good communication which they did, but they didn't realize that there are cultural differences.. my bro in law is americanized and my sister is traditional yet we're atheist. we're traditional like getting up early, respecting the elders, etc...

anyways, lastly, most interracial relationships dont last long because often time people prefer their own race or group. i've noticed that since there were two white guys who speak fluent hmong and they eventually exposed themselves that they don't want to marry hmong girls because ... BLAH BLAH.. they said they prefer marrying white chicks.

....etc.. long story.. anyways, i was shocked.. they speak hmong, hang out with hmong, dress hmong clothes and yes, they try to tell me my hmong culture is primitive.. they're mormon.. LOL..

anyways, INTERRACIAL MARRIAGEs don't work..... there are more to it but i guess some folks didn't care to read what i have to say.. oh well, if you read to this point.. good for you..

ahaha bye.. laugh.gif


Just because your brother is that way doesn't mean everyone else is.

This post has been edited by princess: Aug 12 2007, 01:26 PM
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
iMumble
post Aug 12 2007, 03:10 PM
Post #60


AF Supreme
Group Icon

Group: Members
Posts: 11,680
Joined: 24-June 07
From: TX




QUOTE(xeemlauj @ Aug 11 2007, 06:26 AM) [snapback]3125998[/snapback]
i am against interracial marriage because i believe people should stick to their own kinds. you may think im ethnocentric, racist or a dumb scum who thinks his own people should stick together and make one homogenous pile of people but i am just trying to tell you that interracial marriages don't work. interracial marriage is not what you think it is. you may think interracial marriage is okay if you can communicate, but what about cultural values and morals?

i guess the hardest part is cultural differences.. you see, my sister is married to a japanese/filipino/hawaiian guy. they have two adorable babies which i love and will continue to love until they're old because they're part of my family.

the only thing suck about it is my bro in law. in hmong tradition and culture, people get up early to go prepare and help out during family gathering. my bro in law thinks that getting up early is ridiculous and he doesn't understand why we have to do thing so early. he even said 11am is early. okay??????? it's almost afternoon, like get up and help the family.

second, he doesn't know how hmong culture work, when your parents take care of you kids while you go to work, you should appreciate and give them some money for taking care of your kids. you do know that child day care cost 700 or so. my bro in law got mad because he doesn't understand why my mon wants money. HELLO, my mom have a life too.. taking care of a child is hard and it's like having another job. my mom didn't volunteer to take care of their children.. my mom take care because they have work and putting in daycare eventually costs more than what my mom asked for. my mom only asked for 100 buck or so. that's one thing he doesn't know, and it's APPRECIATION...

third, everytime when my family have gathering, he always seem mad or he sometimes never want to show up.... but when it comes to his family, he expects my sister to be there or he expects everyone to be there.. like, WTF....

fourth, my sister and my bro in law have great communication, they speak perfect english, my sister is very fluent in english and she is like my english teacher because she often correct my papers. anyways, i thought they have good communication which they did, but they didn't realize that there are cultural differences.. my bro in law is americanized and my sister is traditional yet we're atheist. we're traditional like getting up early, respecting the elders, etc...

anyways, lastly, most interracial relationships dont last long because often time people prefer their own race or group. i've noticed that since there were two white guys who speak fluent hmong and they eventually exposed themselves that they don't want to marry hmong girls because ... BLAH BLAH.. they said they prefer marrying white chicks.

....etc.. long story.. anyways, i was shocked.. they speak hmong, hang out with hmong, dress hmong clothes and yes, they try to tell me my hmong culture is primitive.. they're mormon.. LOL..

anyways, INTERRACIAL MARRIAGEs don't work..... there are more to it but i guess some folks didn't care to read what i have to say.. oh well, if you read to this point.. good for you..

ahaha bye.. laugh.gif


In your case, I'd say it's pretty much the opposite, usually it'll only work if both sides can assmiliate with their partners cultural values. I mean it's best if you learn about it from them and try hard to follow it, in exchange they'll try to get used to yours. I personally think they pretty much last long, just as along as you understsnd each other. You see, most interracial marriages work mainly due to understanding. I'm guessing the ones you put up as an example must be that your bro in law doesn't much understand the culture of your family.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

6 Pages V  < 1 2 3 4 5 > » 
Reply to this topicStart new topic

 



Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 2nd September 2014 - 05:40 AM