just wanted to ask if anybody knows any good asian jokes, try to think of ones that you think nobody has ever heard and maybe include jokes that you made up.
yes, they can be offensive because i think those are the funniest and try to stay away from the 2 asians walks into a bar.... jokes cause that shiet is played out.

this is real stupid i got from asianjoke.com
you no you're cambodian when.........
You think you are the king of gambler but lose all your money like the other ones.
You gamble with no strategy in the casino like a chick with no head
People think you're Paki or Indu
You wonder why all other Asian ethnicity hate you
You are racist with white people
You are really embarrassed when some white folks ask you serious questions about Buddhism because you don't know anything about it
You like Jet Li, Jakie Chan, Bruce Lee but you don't know who are Li Lian Jie, Chen Long, Li Siu long
If you ask someone "do you want to stay with us for the dinner you really want the person stay for eat"
You think you only have to wear expensive clothes to have class
You hate white people even if you are in their country
You think it's the white who have to follow your own rules
You try to use every word of the ebonic slang but you look ridiculous
You really think that the more gold you wear the more chicks you get
You called white men foreigner in their own country
You call all white people Frenchmen
You go to the temple because you think you'll meet good girls there but most of the girls who go there are bad girls who want to prove there family and community they are clean good girls
You don't even know that angor wat was not a Buddhist temple at first
You claim to be Buddhist but don't know anything about it
Your favorite past time is talking behind the back of people even your own family
You show no respect to the country your living in
When some people ask you where were you or which side you fought in the Khmer rouge time you are embarrassed and you don't answer
You often see ex-Khmer rouge war criminals, who still have blood of Khmer people on there hand ,who passed as refugee and now are in America or Canada, but don't do anything about it
You think Buddha is sort a god that can make you win money at the lottery or casino
You young folks claim Asian pride! But Mr. bean is more Asian

What's a Cambodian abortion?
A hungry rat on a string.

hahaha, all that is mostly true, keep it coming....

I like this one.

You don't even know that angor wat was not a Buddhist temple at first
I am sure Khmer people knew it was for Hinduism.
You go to the temple because you think you'll meet good girls there but most of the girls who go there are bad girls who want to prove there family and community they are clean good girls
When I go to the temple for new years I see a lot of gangster looking girls and some decent, traditional ones.
Some of it is true and some are not in a way..
nice one

HAHAH! i find this funny!!

^^
Those are just their Chinese names right?
Jet Li is Li Lian Jie
Jackie Chan is Chen Long
Bruce Lee is Li Siu Long

When I was young in Cambodia. All I heard was Lee sia long. Never heard of Bruce Lee until I came to America. And Jackie Chan was Always known as Chen Long.

hahah

If you are proud to be a Cambodian, then you have to know how to eat Prahok and Somlo Machua Kruong...And you have to know how to drink Turk Thnok Chua and eat Sach Ko Ank...

Then I guess I am not proud to be Cambodian? I don't know how to eat prahok.

I dun get it

That's the joke I did not get either.

i like the one about callin every "saw guy" a frenchman, i think its cause the french were the first whitepeople we seen and we just got used to callin every whiteperson that

Yeah, Khmer people call other "saw" people barang which is similar to the Thai word farang.

Same here..my parents never referred to them as their English names.

seems like you have a flaw in your jokes, because this is not true!

i am filipino and i have cambodian friends, what do you have to say now?

EDIT: and yes, i know jokes don't have to be true but they usually have to be to make its irony seem funny :genius:

same here.. i guess im not too... i hate bahok... YUK!

i love prahok! I can eat so much rice with such little prohok!

That rat on a string joke is too disgusting to envision!

Another one to add to, 'you know you're Khmer when..'

when your parents use boiled rice squished together as glue or blu-tack

i guess khmers are really blunt when it comes to not knowing names and having to resort taking the obvious characteristics and calling them that eg, ah kmao ah gamap
ah gahop, it seems mean sometimes but it gets a cheap laugh

Yes, I totally agree. My parents own a shop here in England, and thats what they do to most of the customers! I never thought of it that way!
Theres one man that has a bad leg, and limps as he walks, and we call him 'Da Ga-back' Or there's the 'gamap girl', or the boukpeh man as in bad tempered man, or the sa-adt girl, as in pretty girl

i never met any khmers from england before, are there alot of them over there?, and i can't imaging how one would sound with the english accent but i think it'll sound very cute and polite

Yes, there are several families that live where I live in Kent, England. Also the New Year is celebrated in a hall in London, and you'll get many Khmer families coming from all over the south eastern part of England to come along. I know theres some in Manchester too. We're all scattered about!!

Two Vietnamese refugees have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the refugees points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."

One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

LOL

very funny

An American, a Japanese, and a Chinese were sitting naked in the sauna.Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear.When he finished he explained, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The Chinese felt low-tech and inferior. He didn't know what to do to be as impressive as the American & the Japanese. He decided to take a break in the toilet. When he returned, he didn't realize that there was a piece of toilet paper got stuck and hanging from his @$$. The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?" Instead to be embarrassed, inspiration struck his mind. The Chinese explained, "I'm getting a FAX."

^LOL!!

Umm heres one:

A typical Asian male and a typical Black male were in the change rooms when the asian guy caught a glimpse of the blackman's impressive package.

'WOW!' he exclaimed. 'How did you get it that big?'

The blackman laughed and said
'Weights my friend, just tie on a few pounds to your dinger for a week and it'll look just like mine'

So the Asian guy rushes home and tries out the new technique

The next week, they meet again and the black man approaches the Asian guy. 'Hows the weights going?' he asks. The asian guy looks at him glumly, 'It didn't make it grow' he sighed. 'And now its all black!!'

lol :S okay its not as funny as i thought =(

i heard this from a whiteguy that knows every racist joke in the book

a chinese woman goes to the doctor's office and explains to the doctor her problem, she tells the doctor whenever i fart i cant hear or smell it, as a matter a fact i farted about 10 times i been here. The doctor says take these pills and come back in a week. so she comes back in a week and says doctoc the pills you gave me worked, i can now smell my farts but still cant hear it. the doctor says, now that we fixed your sense of smell, lets work on your hearing