Colonial mentality has varying effects on any Filipino individual. For most, we only see colonial mentality on the superficial level, e.g., some pinoy dude dressing like an African American trying to be hip. That's just on the level that's very apparent. But what if, colonial mentality consumes you on a whole new level and forced you to think that, maybe, just maybe, Filipino values (some of which we even deem as positive) is fundamentally wrong in the first place?

Like most of us, we do a lot of soul searching. To some Filipino-Americans here (which are most likely having an identity crisis with regard to their heritage), nothing can be more fulfilling than understanding your roots and exploring it while living in a foreign land that feels alien even if that Filipino-American guy grew up there for most of his life.

I'm taking the reverse route. I've analyzed pinoy values way too much, and I think I have to go elsewhere--the road to liberalism and the road to individuality.

I remember Al Gore stating in a press statement one time when he was in Malaysia at the height of the Anwar Ibrahim--Mahathir Mohammad case:

"We've always promoted democracy wherever we go and we believe in the virtue of capitalism."

(or at least that's what he said as far as I can remember).

On the other hand, I also remember Mahathir Mohammad (definitely one of the most egotistic Muslim leaders in existence) stating something like:

"There's no need to conquer a country physically when its citizens have already been conquered mentally."

He said something like that. Anyway, the Al Gore speech didn't mean to me much back then. Heck, when I was even studying Social Science in the University of the Philippines, I've studied the likes of Karl Marx, etc. Inevitably, I've forgotten most of the ideas that were taught in that class the next semester. Capitalism and Communism and whatever philosophical brouhaha those philosophers come up with, at that time, don't mean to me who's just a college freshman (16 years old) back then, taking a college degree not knowing whether I would actually like that degree.

Add a few years to that time frame, and we go to the present. I'm still in The University of the Philippines, barely surviving, with my thesis nowhere near getting finished, not to mention that I'm on the stage of a quarter life crisis. Great. Just great!

Someone has stated: "Quarter life crisis is the best time for you to be you."

Well, I guess he's right. At this point in my life, nothing can be more seductive than a culture that promotes individuality, arrogance (a bit), lesser moral restraint, egotism, and capitalist based empowerment.

Well, maybe that's the point. Maybe the reason why I'm introspecting about this so much is that, not a lot of things that I've done in my life are done with me putting myself into primary consideration. I was so nice and unselfish that I've always put other people into consideration (e.g., my parents' desires, etc.).

That's it! I'm so accountable to many people. For once in my life, where can I be accountable to no one but myself?

I guess Filipinos put put figures of authority (like parents) way too much that at some point, things would backfire.

Anyway, I've only learned to play MONOPOLY (board game) a few years back. It instantly became a favorite. It was a better introduction to the social sciences than any of what my teacher in my social science class could deliver. The difference now is, the ideals behind it means so much more to me now than it was before.

You play the game, and you make your opponent bankrupt. Nope. You can't give your opponent money. That's bull$hit. Sometimes, you land in jail, but once you pay the bail, you can roll your dice again.

Maybe that's the reason why I have a love-hate relationship with the University of the Philippines. While I'm thankful that it was the first institution that made me think outside the box (I never got that from my family, which typifies the stereotypical pinoy family, possibly similar to the family that you have), it's still bounded by it's communist ideals. The fact that it's a state university will have the students clamor for a state subsidy way too much. But they are forgetting this question. What if the private sector does better?

The situation reflects the situation of the country. We all think it's the government's fault. We blame the government every time, without putting into consideration that maybe our values could be fundamentally wrong in the first place.

So then we become poor. We pray to God to ease our burden.

But then I came to realize that God doesn't even want people to become rich. We've been bombarded with anti materialism preachings from the catholic church all our lives, and then I thought, "What would be a man's motivation for financial development if he's never attached to anything material in the first place?"

Ok. I had it. Filipinos demand to much from an inefficient government, worships a God that prevents them from getting rich by imposing too many moral constraints, and now pinoys are still wondering why we're still third world.

I guess some of you are still taking the soul searching route (the route towards your heritage). I guess for me, for once in my life, I would have to take a 180 degree turn, look at the other side of he spectrum, have some guts, and walk towards it. I've been hurt. Been accountable to too many things: my family, other people, even my God. It's time to do things alone, define my set of values, alone.

Ironic is it then, that we all grow up wanting to be accepted, only to realize later on that in the end, no one can take care of you but yourself.

OK, TAPOS NA ANG PAG IINARTE KO. GUSTO KO LANG PO MAPAKINGGAN OPINYON NYO PO. HAHA!

LOL that was long. but it seems like many Filipinos these days are turning away from the church's influence eh.

that was pretty interesting. hmmm i'd have to get back to you but for now like you i've been"soul searching" myself as to what is Filipino. From what i've learned and come to know that i'm proud to be FILIPINO.

"Ok. I had it. Filipinos demand to much from an inefficient government, worships a God that prevents them from getting rich by imposing too many moral constraints, and now pinoys are still wondering why we're still third world."

Well you know sometimes there has to be a God. The people that complain usually are the ones who don't know it because in fact they could say such things. The people that had retrain had God and that's the reason why you're still alive.

Dont feel to badly I think Iatros has already won that title.

Its not our values are wrong, its that our values do not fit in with what we are trying to be. We are not all like the Americans, nor are even remotely close to our successful neighbors from Japan. We are a diverse, tribal, religious, easy going and superstitious people. I think we have to find our own way, because there really is no country out there that we can compare too.

take more anthropology courses!

can you show us the link to who wrote that

Cypo pare,

Si Misis, aktibista sa UP nung college. Ngayong mga profesionals na kami, natapusan din nya yang indi-individuality-ng yan. Phases lang ng life natin yan as a Pinoy. Una yung itinuturo sa atin na cathecism sa ating Catholic elementary school na maging masunurin at igalang ang lumang tradisiyon. Tapos papasok tayo sa public high school at university na ang emphasis e individuality at piliting akapin ang bago at ikahiya kung ano ang nalaman natin nung elementarya. Pag-nagtagal ka na sa real world, ma-re-reconcile mo na hindi mo kailangan kalimutan o ikahiya yung mga values na una mong natutunan kahit na acting individualistic at progressive ka. Eka nga e balance lang yan kase alam naman natin na ang sobra e palaging masama. In other words, hindi pagiging whitewash yan, kahit anong nationality e ganyan din siguro ang pinagdadaanan. Ganyan din kasi ako noon. Hindi kita pinipilit ha pero ganyan ang cycle of life.

How's your professional life right now and hoe did the reconciliation of your personal and coerced values improve it?

Paris din ng karamihan, trabaho para kumita ng pera para me pangkain, damit at tirahan. Kaibahan lang kasi sa trabaho ko marami e hindi kayang magbayad ng professional fee namin. Ginagawa ko/namin ni Misis, e di kung anong kayang ibayad e tanggapin. Kahit pa nga isang sako ng sibuyas o 2 kilong mangga, probinsya kasi dito sa amin.

Mas madali din namin natanggap na hindi porke meron kang ganitong amount ng pera e ganyan na lang pagtrato mo sa mas mahirap sayo. Marami nga sa mga kamag-anak namin e me utang sa amin. Sila nangangailangan e, di bigyan kung ano ang meron. Palaging grounded kami, hindi kami karaniwan bumibili ng mga designer na damit kung pareho lang din ng quality sa gawa dito sa atin. People's car lang din ang binili namin maski pwede naman mas mahal na klase. Although hindi kami nagbibigay ng palimos sa kalye (mali kasi ang dole-out), madami naman kaming ni-lilibreng mga nangangailangan ng service namin.Yun lang naman siguro ang masasabi kong improvement na nangyari sa pag-resolve ko sa sarili ko kung tungkol sa pagiging individualistic (trait ng puti?) at pagiging altruistic(trait nating mga Pinoy?) ang usapan.

BTW, iba ang whitewashed sa progressive and critical thinker. Whitewashed = non-white + racist sa non-whites + walang galang sa pinanggalingan + naniniwala siya na lahat ng white traits (kung nasa america ka e American whites) e tama, mabuti man o masama [eg. individualistic, in your face talk, makitid ang mundo at me sense of entitlement just because puti siya]. Puro mga stereotypes yan ha at hindi ko sinasabi na ganyan nga lahat ng puti. Kaya mali ka sa sabi mong nagiging whitewashed ka.