http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/fema...in_page_id=1879



'I love my mixed race baby - but why does she feel so alien?'



by LOWRI TURNER

Lowri Turner: Emotional turmoil over the colour of her child's skin
"She's getting very dark, isn't she?" This is what one of my friends recently said about my much adored - 12-week-old daughter.

She didn't mean to be rude. But it was a comment that struck me with the force of a jab to the stomach.

Immediately, I was overwhelmed by a confusion of emotions. I felt protective, insulted, worried, ashamed, guilty, all at once. The reason? My lovely, wriggly, smiley baby is mixed race.

Now, I think of myself as pretty 'right on'. My home is on the border of the London Republic of Hackney. I've been to the Notting Hill Carnival, even if I found the music a bit loud. Yet now I realise what a 'white' world I inhabit.

I am white and I have two sons from my first marriage who are both milky complexioned and golden haired. My twin sister, who I spend a lot of time with, has a Danish partner. As a consequence, she has two boys who are also pale skinned and flaxen haired.

Into this positively Scandinavian next generation, I have now injected a tiny, dark-skinned, dark-haired girl. To say she stands out is an understatement.

My colouring and that of my children has never really been an issue before. However, three years ago I met the man who became my second husband and who is the father of my daughter.

Although born in the UK, his parents came from India in the Sixties. This makes him British-Asian and our daughter mixed race.

There is another more PC term for the plump little bundle I strap to my front. She is 'dual heritage'. It's a bit trendy, but I quite like it. It implies a pride in coming from two cultures, rather than the less attractive connotations of 'mixed race'.

The usual time something is labelled 'mixed' is when it's a packet of nuts and they've bulked out the luxury cashews with cheaper peanuts. I'm not sure I want my daughter to be regarded as an adulterated version of some pure original. Still, it is the most accepted description.

The truth is, whatever the label, the fact there is a label proves that my daughter's conflicting parentage matters.

At the more frothy end of the scale, mixed-race children are regarded as pretty dolls — white kids with a nice tan.

When I was pregnant and people asked me about the child I was having, and I explained her father was Indian, they would often coo something along the lines of: "Ooh, she's going to be beautiful!" as if I was discussing a new rose, made from an exotic cross-breeding programme.

On a less benevolent level, mixed-race children can receive a hostile welcome from both white and black communities. Being neither one thing nor another may get you on the cover of Vogue, but it isn't an easy way to make friends.

I don't think shes regretting it, shes just talking about her emotions about having a mixed baby. I don't know why shes talking about white and black so much though.

^Huh? She only wrote one line about black and white at the end because she was talking about mixed-race children and she was probably using black/white mixes as an example

And to the OP, where exactly did she say she regrets it?

i dont think she regrets having a mixed baby at all. in fact, she seems to like the fact that it's mixed, considering all she wrote in the body of her text.

i think she's just worried that her mixed baby wont fit in with the outward appearance of her other kids, since they are white with blond hair. also, she thinks that a mixed race baby will have a hard time fitting in with society, since the child comes from two different cultures. but no where in her statement does she imply that she regrets having this child because it is mixed.

and to the original poster, why is this funny? (i'm referring to the laughing face next to the title).

Brits are a funny bunch, I wonder if they consider Clive Owen and Catherine Zeta Jones to be black too.

I don't think she regret it, if you read the article carefully. Actually she is happy about it.

I want to have mixed babies with a white woman.

Well thats because....



you're an idiot.

Cause I would like to have a white wife & mixed kids or is it something else?

How/why is it any of your concern as to what race id like to marry?

Where are you/your Parents from in India?

I am part Mahratta and part Punjabi. Just to make things clear. Thx.

Andhra, ok did I ask?

No wonder.

lol are you even Indian, GTFO. All you do is post crap that indirectly insults Indians. Do you have anything better to do? Do you need attention? Perhaps a play buddy? I'll come over there and screw the $hit outta your mother so hard I'll make sure you get a brother.

And this journalist is one giant tool, I could build a rocket to the moon with her.

What are you against andhras now?



Have you ever gotten laid? Its the internet, relax more.

Yes I am an indian, I dont really try to insult anyone. I just have opinions on indian things which are diff. from yours.

You're not getting laid little boy. Good job with your inferiority complex.

Name one South Indian freedom fighter. I'd like to know.

Heres a picture of me btw HYDERBADI @$$:

http://img517.imageshack.us/my.php?image=picoa5.jpg

you look ARAB!

Afghan PRIDE!

LOL I doubt her baby has their skin complexion. the baby IS pretty dark.

It's funny that's why! Her baby must be ugly as sh!t!

I am half Punjabi and half Mahratta.

Don't call me Arab please We have always fought for India. Hindustan Zindabad!

How can you see those mixed children as your own children; your own children will seem like a foreigner to you. In order for you to care for your children and feel connected, you need children that look like you.

You being a 1/2 marathi & 1/2 punjabi makes you superior, hell youre still indian to others. Is this coming from your punjab side, I see a lot of them bragging about $hit that their ancestors did.

Im telling you to get a girl, since you get pissed off so easily by people on the internet.



Meh.

the same way parents that have adopted kids see them as their own...if you've carried your child for nine months, and you wanted to have this child, then it's highly unlikely that you wouldnt feel connected to your child simply because it doesnt look exactly like you. it's part of you, therefore it isnt a foreigner to you.

please dont turn this into a north vs. south indian thing. so far, we've managed to avoid that crap on this board, and that's what makes this board so much more tolerable than others.

Yeah, good luck with that lol.



Aren't Afghans usually Arab worshippers?

look who's striking first, how retarded is it that someone says someone else doesn't fit their definition of what an Indian should look like and basically calls them an Arab.


My advice to anyone who plans on outmarrying, careful what you pick especially amoungst whites and blacks, it may turn out to be like this ugly, piss haired journalist.

Honestly I dunno if most of you are in England, but your lack of any sort of cultural pride or self esteem is astounding.

I'm not Indian! Afghan pride baby! You look ARAB!

gwen1, then GTFO of India chat and go back to screwing goats and molesting little boys.

I apologize I didn't want to do that at all, this guy just pissed me off.

I have dated white women before, but still at the same you must respect Indian culture dude. Peace out.

All of the people on this board should read about:

Prithvraj Chauhan

Shivaji

Ranjit Singh

I think that should be a requirement for any Indian person. And anyone saying I'm Afghan or Arab. Come to North India we will see who is strongest.

I can spot him as an Indian no doubt.

Yet you get pissed at me for wanting to marry a white person .

There's a difference between falling in love with someone who happens to not be Indian and specifally targetting a certain demographic for outmarriage, it just makes you look like an idiot dude. When you grow an Adam's apple, you'll realize this.

You are wrong, adopted parents can't connect fully like blood parents can connect to their children. Children probably can connect if they don't know that their parents are not real parents but the adopted parents always have in their head that this child is not mine, this child is different than me and this child is foreign to me. No, I am not questioning about adopted parents parenting or loving their adopted children; I am talking about connecting.

I think we are talking about a guy here and not a girl; so guy would not carry the baby. Yes, it is true that mother after carrying the baby have feeling for the baby no matter what color her skin is or how she looks.

I am just more compatible with non indians more. Plus ive heard the whole, I cant marry outside my religion, race & other BS from indian girls that their family presses on them. My family is christian so if I have any ultimatums from the brides family it wont work out & hell we all know how indian people are.

Could not care less. Why is this being posted in the first place?

This is a Filipino mentality. I think your a Filipino. Just a guess.

lol

He/she is Indian, its your forum troll called radha chopra, also know as lil buggy and under a bunch of other screen names.


You do know that this was an offensive post, right ?

PS Memsahib, Memsahib, Memsahib <= who's mentality is that ?

Is she also celina?

^^Yeah, celina was one of his/her accounts.

Im indian .

well said.


yes, looks like we have a strirrer...


i hadnt seen that previously, maybe a troll not a strirrer.


yes look sliek she likes the attention she gets from it.


stay away from my sisters


why is it your concern what race your wife is?


did the doctors laugh at you when you were born?

never been a prent beofre have you. all babies look the same at the beginning. and anyone whose kids look exactly the same is inbreeding.


well said

Ah ok. I was just guessing. So your a Christian and Indian. Are you from Kerala ,Goa, Bombay or where else? Because in North India there are very few Christians, most of them are either tribal or Dalit converts.

Btw what do you think about this thread? Personally I found it rather lame.

He's Indian for sure, because I know him from RD. I think he said he's an andhra-ite?

Yea 2% of 1 billion lol, im from hyderabad. Im not sure about christians in north india I know that there are a lot in calcutta.

Whats lame is the people who got pissed at me for saying id like eto marry a white girl. .

Ok annas.

To have mixed kids? .

why does he/she keep coming back? i thought he was perm ban.

Hyderabad? Didn't Sardar Patel come down to ensure Stability in Hyderabad after you guys wanted to go to Pakistan?

You are dirty, bad people. Go date white girls lets see how far you get.

wasnt it just the muslims in hyderabad that wanted to make it part of pakistan? the entire population of hyderabad and andhra pradesh are not muslim, and didnt want that to happen.

and please stop insulting the population of andhra pradesh and/or hyderabad just because you dont agree with the views of one person.

Hyderabad was the largest of the princely states, and included parts of present-day Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, and Maharashtra states. Its ruler, the Nizam Osman Ali Khan was a Muslim, although over 80% of its people were Hindu. The Nizam sought independence or accession with Pakistan. Militant Muslims called the Razakars, under Qasim Razvi pressed the Nizam to hold out against India, while organising attacks with militant Communists on people on Indian soil. Even though a Standstill Agreement was signed due to the desperate efforts of Lord Mountbatten to avoid a war, the Nizam rejected deals and changed his positions.[47] In September 1948, Patel emphasised in Cabinet meetings that India should take no more, and reconciled Nehru and the Governor-General, Chakravarti Rajgopalachari to military action. Following preparations, Patel ordered the Indian Army to integrate Hyderabad (in his capacity as Acting Prime Minister) when Nehru was touring Europe.[48] The action was termed Operation Polo, in which thousands of Razakar militants had been killed, but Hyderabad was comfortably secured into the Indian Union. The main aim of Mountbatten and Nehru in avoiding a forced annexation was to prevent an outbreak of Hindu-Muslim violence. Patel insisted that if Hyderabad was allowed to continue with its antics, the prestige of the Government would fall and then neither Hindus nor Muslims would feel secure in its realm. However riots did ensue in Hyderabad in which thousands of Muslims were butchered, allegedly with help from the Indian Army. Despite his anger at the Nizam, Patel retained him as the ceremonial chief of state, and held talks with him where the Nizam apologised to Patel, who graciously defused the rivalry.


From WIKIPEDIA