lol im pretty sure alot of people of seen this, but i thought it would be fun to just post it.
Its amazing how true alot of these are ㅋㅋㅋ

133. Instead of taking just one, your mom takes a stack of napkins to go and use later
132. Your parents eat kimchee with their spaghetti

131. If your mom is super submissive, has that Korean "guilt" thing or nags on a regular basis

130. If you go to your local Korean market, and they are selling state of the art toilet seat bidehs next to the bags of rice and it doesn't phase you as being really weird.

129. If there's a shoehorn by the front door and your mom wears SAS shoes

128. When you ask if they need help, and they say no, but they really mean "yes! don't ask, just do it".

127. When you do something wrong, and your dad gives you that death stare along with the hissing sound, then starts mumbling something under his breath.

126. If your parents don't realize they're flipping people the bird whenever they point at something. (from Joe Lee)

125. At restaurants, if their food doesn't taste as good as the last time when they had it, it your parents conclude that there must have been a change in "joo-een" (manager/owner) (From Daniel Kim)

124. Your parents' closets smell like moth balls (from Christina Moon)

123. Your parents have told you that you will die in the middle of the night if you leave the fan on running....

122. Your parents ALWAYS want you to stay home and not go out - read a book instead, etc.

121. You had to drink "han yahk" before when you were sick (almost puking at the smell...)

120. For punishment they've made you go on your knees and raise your hands up high, or they made you stick your hands out so they can smack them...or beating....usually for disrespecting them unintentionally or talking back....ouch....ahyahyah.

119. you can haggle like noone's business (you most likely learned it from watching your mom/grandmother)

118. you started studying for the SATs in 7th grade

117. your parents sent you to the Korean government sponsored "gyopo" summer camp in Korea to "learn about your roots" (little did they know it was just a big meet market/hookupfest)

116. you're fluent in "Konglish". (Appah, can I borrow your cha tonight so I can go to the noraebang?)

115. your parents have always discouraged any interaction with the opposite sex, but the day after you graduated from college, they started badgering you about when you were going to get married

114. you actually like daenjang jigae and can tolerate the smell

113. no soft mesh body sponges for you - you shower with the painful, sandpapery "italy towel".

112. When your parents wave for you to come over, they wave down towards them.

111. ...if your parents carefully opens the gift wrap so that they can save it and someday use it on someone else's gift (this one is courtesy of David Byun..thx David!)
110. You have an aunt (emo) that always slips you a $100 bill when they see you. They try to do it discreetly too which makes it all super secretive but then your mom sees and says "aii...uhnee" and your aunt goes "ah..tehsuh..tehsuh.."
109. Your mom has mixed raw egg with soy sauce and rice for you to eat as a kid

107. You've eaten raw ramen noodles as a snack - Sapporo Ichiban - the red packet

106. When someone in your family drives a Toyota or Honda (usually with a box of tissue somewhere in the car, like in the back window)

105. Grandmothers/moms use pots and pans as noisemakers - hitting them with metal spatulas and such - when rooting for their church volleyball team to win...or any sport.

104. Your mom packs food in a napkin before leaving the casino buffet (muffin...fried chicken...) (from John Nahm!)

103. You've had a bowl cut at some point in your life.

102. Your mom has short-permed hair

101. You're a girl and you've put tape on your eyes before to make "sanguhpuhr" or...perhaps you just got the surgery done.

100. You have had a piece of rice stuck to your shirt or hair before

99. You've been called an "Ee-nuhm-uhn-jai-sheik" or "Kai-she-nah" by your parents many times in your life

98. You eat seaweed soup on your bday prepared by your uhmah!

97. When you or guests are leaving your parents' house, they wait for you to get into the car and leave before they go back in the house. Won't close the door, until you're gone. Doesn't matter if it's freezing cold outside...they'll linger and wait until you're gone first before they go back in the house.

96. I like....flat butts and i cannot lie! Your mom has a flat butt which is usually covered by Korean brand polyester pants.

95. Your parents always eat some sort of fruit for dessert...apples, asian pear, oranges...and your mom peels the apple skin, the core and slices it into "crescent" shape pieces.

94. you just love, love, love them korean faux fur blankets.

93. There is some piece of Korean furniture in the house somewhere like a folding korean table or a black ebony chest with cranes all over it.

92. Your mom has bulk packs of Korean nylon knee high stockings - and wears them with sandals

91. Your parents put Salon-pas or Ben-Gay on their aching bodies. When your dad or mom is sick, they put a wet washcloth on their forehead.

90. Your parents never drink water (except soju and other alcoholic beverage) until they finish eating their meal, no matter how heavy the meal is. Now that I think of it, they don't even have water pitcher or cups out until they've finished with their meal. Actually, forget cups, they just pour the water in their rice bowls to drink it up. (from Chun Shin)

89. Your parents only buy thousand island dressing and think it's the only dressing that tastes good

88. When you're out eating with an older brother or sister, they usually pay for your meal.

87. When you were younger and at a restaurant with another korean family, your parents would fight over the bill...usually the dads...they start grabbing it out of the hand and/or try to pay and the other one pulls him down going ..."ah yai..yai..yai...". sometimes this back and forth process will take 15 min. - everyone else waiting until the parents duke it out and pay.

86. You open the refrigerator door, and fall back - potent!

85. Your parents are tired, so they do the kimchee squat wherever they're at.

84. At church retreats, you eat kimchee bowls at like 11:00 pm with everyone. you know what chappegetti, sapporo ichiban and neoguri are....one or the other are always in the kitchen cabinet.

83. You have one of those asian fruity purple/orange/blue whatever color car fresheners in your car

82. Your parents never paid for napkins...they just took a whole stack from mcdonald's, restaurants...etc.

81. When you were in trouble, your dad/mom tried to hit you with their korean slipper from the kitchen, rolled up korean newspaper or your dad's shoehorn (the slippers didn't really hurt)

80. You're a girl - when you go to the Hello Kitty store you still want to buy everything no matter what your age (you still have and use cute pencils, pens, korean/japanese stationary)

79. No matter how wealthy your family is or isn't, they never waste or throw away food; after you're done eating and completely full, you mom says "that's it? eat some more!" as she gives you a 3rd plate of food/rice

78. Someone in your close circle of friends is named John, Paul, David, Peter, Esther, Susan or Jenny Lee/Kim....actually, quite a few of them are named that.

77. You can't eat ramen without kimchee or bap. And if you have to b/c you ran out, you feel like something's missing.

76. You hit someone sitting next to you from laughing so hard. In fact, you SILENT laugh while hitting.

75. You play guitar, violin, or piano

74. Failure means telling your parents you are not going to be a doctor but feel called to go to seminary instead to be a mok-sah-neem. Watch out while the rage begins - "Nuh Mee Juh Suh!!!!"

73. Your parents have lived in the U.S. for 20 years+ but they mainly speak Korean. In fact, one of them doesn't speak English at all.

72. You hated eating Korean food in high school (preferably going to get American food with friends). Now that your out of the house, you crave Korean food all the time!

71. Your dad is always on the couch after work, quietly reading the Korean newspaper or watching the Korean news/videos.

70. The Korean newspaper is the 2nd bible to your parents.

69. Your mom knows a friend, who had a friend, who had a friend....that something bad happened to therefore, you need to listen to your parents and do as they tell you althought there is no logical connection whatsoever to the story they just told you (usually that "friend" is just a news article they read from the Korean newspaper)

68. Your dad would explode and yell with a passion about once every few months or year. The rest of the time, he's quietly reading the newspaper.

67. Your mom works more than full-time, cleans, cooks homemade meals, sews, serves, is always go, go, go and worries so much that she nags you about what you're going to do with your life. Your dad has never cooked or washed dishes in the kitchen but man, when it's time to grill that kalbi....he's all over that!

66. You communicate through your mom what you need to tell your dad and vice-versa

65. Even in college, when you have large group get togethers, the girls are in the kitchen preparing the food, while the guys stay in the living room hanging out.

64. Even though you are a gifted artist, you know the only professions that exists for you are in medicine/business/computers or law.

63. Most Korean girls you know are teachers, pharmacists or nurses

62. Most Korean guys you know are accountants, IT/Engineering, doctors, lawyers or Seminarians

61. Your mom always dresses up when going out of the house. At home, she dresses like a homeless woman wearing your old clothes/sweats and mismatching.

60. In high school, you get depressed when you get a bad grade, evaluating the existence of your whole life and wondering if you'll ever amount to anything

59. When playing large group games, embarrassing and targeting someone in front of the whole group for ridicule pleasure is fun and normal...in fact, he/she probably likes the attention

58. Writing your name with your butt, sizzling like a bacon, getting your wrists hit by other people's swinging fingers and the guys' version of "motorcycle" are all normal behaviors to you

56. When eating a grilled fish, your mom eats the fishhead and eyeballs like it's filet mignon

55. On special occasions, your parents will go to a Chinese restaurant where they won't have Americanized Chinese food, but "Fear Factor" Chinese food (E.g. jellyfish, shark fin soup). You're disgusted, starving and think their weird for eating it. Your parents are happy, delighted and think you're weird for not eating it.

54. Your parents are part of some sort of social group. It usually involves secret group money collecting/exchange.

53. Getting toilet paper, toothpaste, or any highly practical item is an appropriate and wise prize during team games

52. When you're around non-Asian people, you stop using slang words, start enunciating your words and start using proper grammar/English or just stand there remaining silent thus adding to the already quiet Asian stereotype. When you're with your Korean friends, you're a whole new personality.

51. Where you're at a church retreat, skits are your favorite part and there's always a dance-off or breakdancing of some sort.

50. Your parents have embarrassed you in public before by their mannerisms (dad yelling too loud "Eun Jung AHHHH!!! YUH-GEE-WAH!!!", parents swearing in broken English at another driver)

49. You only know the first line of the Korean National Anthem and sing it "Dong Heh Muhr Gwa..." and then stop b/c you don't know the rest of the words.

48. If you're a girl, when talking to someone of the opposite sex, your voice gets higher, pitchier, whinnier, with a lot of fake giggling...E.g. "Ah, oPaHhhhhhhhhh!!! giggle....soft fake hit on the arm"

47. If you're a guy, when you're with your friends, you play basketball or massive multiplayer video games for fun.

45. When you go to the beach for a bbq, camping or an amusement park, your parents bring the 3 golden Ks - kimchee, kalbi, kimbab

44. Parking lot syndrome. This is quickly broken when someone suggests you guys get some boba.

43. You have name-brand style....mad style...more so than other asians (except perhaps the japanese who are bit funkier in a weird way.) Music/talents/dramas from Korea highly influence you.

42. If you are a girl, you spend $150-$250 getting a straight pah-mah to make your hair look "naturally" straight.

41. Even though you really wanted to go to UCLA, your mom finds your Berkeley acceptance letter and mails it out behind your back confirming you'll go there. (true story!)

40. When you're around your parents, you tone changes and you speak like a baby or little kid "Uhhhhh-MMMMMaaaaahhhhHHHHH! Nah beh goo pahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

39. When you're around your parents, they treat you like a little kid/baby and like you don't know anything or have been anywhere.

38. If you are a girl, you have had a crush on the praise leader (Godly, talented, well-dressed, great voice, smart, romantic)

37. If you are a guy, you dream of a girl like the one in the korean video (perfect, cute, serving, fun, passionate, tender)

36. For those who can relate to #37 and #38, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE KIMCHEE CHEE-GEH!!!

35. You know when your mom's cooking dang-jang-jee-geh....the minute you open up your front door. Whoo! Potent!

34. Your dad or mom planted something in your front yard, backyard, wherever there's dirt - they'll plant and grow. Lettuce? Corn? Something...

33. You are so artistic that when you go to different stores and see something you like, you naturally think "I can make this. Cheaper too." (I think Koreans are highly creative and artistic!)

32. You get excited when someone suggests playing korean group games. You just love them Korean group games!!! Never a dull moment...

31. Your church parking lot has more Lexus, BMW, and Mercedes cars than the local dealership

30. Eating on the floor with no chairs is considered normal when with a big group of people.

29. If someone walks into a room/house with shoes on, it makes you highly uncomfortable and nervous.

28. Your parents are looking for a toothpick after they've eaten at a restaurant. When they find one, they cover their mouths with one hand while picking their teeth with the other.

27. Your parents have lived in the U.S. for over 20+ years, and they still don't vote.

26. You used to lie to your parents in high school telling them you were going to the library when in fact, you were really going out with your friends. (heehee)

25. Three types of Korean girls - the k-town l.a. club scene girl, the goodie/holy try to act super cute modestly dressed church girl, and the ones that no one really pays attention to.

24. Three types of Korean guys - the bad boy gangsta wannabee, the best all-around good looking worship/church leader that all the girls have crushes on and think that's the guy for them, the nice, ordinary guys that get easily overlooked

23. When your mom cooks, she never measures anything. And when you ask her how much you should put it in...she says "ah...you know. a little bit here. a little there. just taste."

22. When you like a guy/girl, you make him a praise mix or write encouraging letters on cute asian stationary (which includes the mandatory scripture verse)

21. A kid gets into an Ivy League school and their parents are touted as being the greatest parents ever!

20. Your mom puts potato salad in between two slices of bread

19. Your parents have a professional karoake machine complete with a rotating disco ball; you hate it when it's your mom or dad's turn to sing b/c they sing these whiny korean folk songs with electronic background music.

18. Your parents have a free calendar hung on their wall from church or the local Korean market.

17. Your mom randomly tells you what their friends' kids have done, especially if they did something good for their parents. You feel like they are comparing you to them..which they are.

16. A date night for your parents, is lying in the electronic heated blanket with thick puffy faux fur korean blankets in the living room watching Korean videos.

15. When going to the beach with your mom, she's covered from head to toe with her 10-inch sun visor, her robotech sunglasses, lightweight jackets and such. In fact, they will most likely drive to the beach, look at the water, say "Cho-TAH!!!" and then drive back home after one hour.

14. If your parents call you "Kah-She-Nah" or "Jai-Sheik" if you haven't called them in over a week and then feel guilty about it

13. While watching a korean drama, you had an epiphany and realized your parents' loud voice level was just normal.

12. You've washed your hair in a river before on some road trip when you were a little kid

11. You've never seen your parents kiss

10. When you were in 1st grade, your parents used rice instead of buying Elmer's glue

9. Your mom has a collection of empty kimchee jars for future use, big rubber basins in the backyard for making kimchee, a gallon of koh-joo-jang and a 20lb bag of rice. Your dad will even comment on the koh-joo-jang or kim being really good b/c it's from korea but you can't tell the difference.

8. You wash your dishes by hand (only using the dishwasher on special occasions)

7. Your parents rarely show teeth or have big smiles in pictures

6. You get straight A's on your report card with one A- or B+ . Your parents are really worried about the A- or B+, say do better next time and pray about it.

5. You know you have to marry a Korean. They don't even have to say it. You just know. (Unless MAYBE if the guy's super rich and Chinese)

4. Your mom keeps her rubberbands around the kitchen sink faucet handles

3. Your mom uses water and an old rag to clean everything

2. Your mom has a bag of frozen anchovies (meh-duh-chee) in the freezer

1. Your mom has a drawer in the kitchen that has everything - messy and unorganized - gum, tape, packets of ketchup, safety pin

hahahaha

cute list

$hit man! A lot of the stereotypes listed are really true of Koreans!!

at least 75% of this applies to other east asians as well, 95% if you replace kimchee with any other stereotypical asian food

i was a little surprised some of those are actually true

a couple that i didnt relate to, but most of'em yeah.

also about the word "kashina" its actually a word from the kyungsangdo dialect. So people from that area would use it. Kashina is a word for girls and Moshima is a word for boys. My mom's side is from that area, but she never used the dialect/saturi with the family. But my grandma always did. My dad's side is from a different area, so they dont use those words

also there's

-you always have a box of chocopies in your house
-if you had any dogs, you'll have had at least a jindo gae
-your parents force you to go to school even though you are sick as hell

shop at h-mart.

sorry if it's already listed. there is no way in hell i'm going to sit down and read through all of that.

"Kashina" means "bad girl".

That is pretty funny

yeah, its for girls, and the guy version would be moshima

I am Korean, and I find the whole western concept of having to provide "evidence" or "facts" to back up outrageous claims to be so stupid and meaningless. Why is it necessary to have to go through the trouble of having to find evidence of facts to back up our claims when we Koreans are always right? We don't need to mess with this stupid thing called "evidence." Everything that comes from Korean sources is absolute truth and everything that is from foreign sources is 100% lies.

That's the way we Koreans learn in our schools. Also, we don't understand the concept of "debate" or fair trial. In Korea, whoever screams the loudest or posts the most number of spamming comments on the internet is always the winner. That's how our culture teaches us to debate. I think this whole concept of having to provide "evidence" is so stupid and time wasting. No wonder only foreigners like white people, Japanese, and Chinese actually believe this.

We Koreans should not have to provide evidence. As long as we scream loud enough and post everywhere on the internet that Confucius was Korean, that all US beef has mad cow disease, that kendo and karoke was invented in Korea, that N.Korea is a peaceful nation which was suddenly attacked by US, then that's all we need to do. No need to have to go through the trouble of having to provide this stupid thing called "evidence"! Whatever we Koreans say is automatically true. Anything that foreigners say is always a lie and false. That's all we need to know.

here are some other jokes

you're probably chinese if

You eat rice for breakfast.
Your friends and everybody else assume you know Kung Fu.
You remember or still use "the bowl" for haircuts.
Your folk�s kitchen have a constant lingering aroma.
You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.
Your parent�s lifelong ambition is to go to Las Vegas.
You never ever sat down on Popo�s warm chair after she got up.
You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child.
Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings.
You never made the school football or basketball team.
You have two middle initials instead of one.
You have an inherent "fear" for bamboo feather dusters.
Your "hot" date is going to your parent�s house to have "jook".
Your living room sofas have covers on them.
You laugh at Kan Tong and Chung King commercials.
You inform the ticket clerk that your 13 year old is 12 to avoid paying adult fare.
You sneak in snacks at the movie theater.
Your grandmother smell like mothballs.
You�d bring home a Caucasian friend and "popo" would be cooking something that smelled like it had died a week ago.
You were told you all look alike.
You know how to pinch someone with your toes.
You graduated from UCI or knows of someone who did.
You would drive around the block 10 times rather than pay for parking.
You have a hard time pronouncing "aluminum" and "lobster claw".
You truly believe that your neighbor could use that old sweater rather than throwing it away.
You would take that sweater if you were your neighbor.
You would stand in line for hours and hours for a free gift whether you needed it or not.
You have clothes in your closet that is coming back in style.
You�ve seen every Bruce Lee movie.
You still have your old slide rule.
You never order chop suey or egg foo young.
You have a relative or friend who works as a waiter or cook.
You prefer your chicken and shrimp served with heads and feet still attached.
You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
You spit bones and other food scraps on the table (that�s why you need a vinyl tablecloth).
Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
You buy on sale 100 rolls of toilet paper and store them in a closet or in a vacant room when your adult child moves out.
You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas when its 50% off.
Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
Your stove is covered with tin foil.
You have stuff in your freezer since the beginning of time.
You have never used your dishwasher.
You use your dishwasher as a dish rack.
You boil water and put it in the refrigerator.
You keep a thermos of hot water available at all times.
You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
You eat all meals in the kitchen.
You bring oranges or other produce with you as a gift when you visit peoples homes.
You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully to save and reuse wrappings and bows.
You feel like you�ve won the lottery if you didn�t have to pay tax for an item.
You starve yourself all day before going to an all you can eat buffet.
You stop dialing 411 information when they started to charge for each call.
You only call long distance after 11 PM.
You suck on salty preserved seeds for a sore throat.
You keep a stash of Li Hing Mui at home.
Your eyes resemble dime slots when you laugh.
You know what the term "FOB" and "ABC" means.
You laugh at Martin Yan�s jokes not because he�s funny.
Your parents have a glass jar of preserved limes aging on top of the roof.
You own a wok.
You know what a "bow" is�and it doesn�t mean to bend over.
You never eat fried foods when you�re sick (it creates phlegm and hot air).
You would prefer your fish entree staring at you on the dinner table.
You never discuss your love life with your parents.
Your parents still use a clothes line.
You save your old coke bottle glasses even though you�re never going to use them again.
You keep most of your money in a savings account.
You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
You�ve joined a CD club at least once.
You keep used batteries.
You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
You�re always late.
You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don�t eat the last piece of food on the table.
You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
Your dad thinks he can fix anything.
You live with your parents and over 30 years old (and they like it that way). And if you�re married, you live in the apartment next to your parents, or in the same neighborhood.
Your parents house is always cold.
You beat eggs with chopsticks.
You never use measuring cups.
You reuse tea bags.
You tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
You never call your parents to say hi.
You always cook too much.
Your parents always ask you if you�ve eaten, even though it�s midnight.
Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you�re sick.
You have a drawer full of used pens, most of which don�t write anymore.
You know all the waiters at your favorite Chinese restaurant.
Your parents never go to the movies.
You notice at dances, a wall of guys standing together trying to look cool.
You iron your own shirts.
You play a musical instrument.
You don�t own any real Tupperware, only used margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
You never leave any leftovers on the table in a restaurant. You have it put in boxes or finish it.
Your ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard in the refrigerator are all "Price Club-size".
You have an assortment of condiments and utensils from fast food takeouts stuffed in a drawer.
You never order for room service.
You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine, or law.
Your parents are never satisfied with your grades.
You own a rice cooker.
You buy rice in 50 pound sacks.
You wash rice 2 to 3 times before you cook it.
You steam something on top of your rice while its cooking.
You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
You always carry a stash of food when you travel like preserved plums, beef jerky, or dried cuttlefish.
Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests brought to be courteous.
You know what MJ means.
You pick your teeth at the dinner table, but you cover your mouth.
You have a piano in the living room.
You live in an apartment and your parents always want you to come home.
You have a rice cooker to check in at the airport when you travel.
You grow your own bean sprouts in the kitchen.
Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas.
You have an lonely unmarried relative who frequently drops by during dinner time.
You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions.
You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives.
You cut your own hair�or had someone in your family do it.
Your grandmother has a lot of gold teeth�especially in front.
You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times.
You know what the term "lemon" or a "banana" means.
You only have to shave every other day (maybe).
You tell your friends that you�re starting a new mustache when you really had it for several months.
You wash and reuse ziplock bags.
You save your children�s halloween candy and give it out the next year.
You either love or hate "mooncakes".
You know at least three people named Alan Wong.
Your parents constantly complain you use too much toilet paper when you go to the bathroom.
You hated that black herb medicine that your parents forced you to drink when you were sick.
Your parents have kitchen towels made of old cloth rice bags.
You never drank milk after eating cherries.
You�ve swallowed those tiny "BB�s" with hot tea for a tummy ache.
Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
You�ve asked your parent�s help on one math problem and 2 hours later they�re still lecturing.
You shop at 99 Ranch Markets.
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friend�s kids.
You�ve had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library.
You�ve had to eat parts of animals that they don�t even put in hotdogs.
You have piles of shoes and slippers blocking the entrances to your home.
You have no eyelashes!
Your idiot friends try to impress you with pathetic imitation languages, like the ever so popular "ching chong woo bok chi"�etc.
Your biology lecture on marine life (seaweed, octopii, sea cucumbers, etc.) was last night�s dinner.
You have at least one family member who wears black wire or plastic framed glasses.
You have several relatives who wear glasses�thick glasses.
You like $1.75 movies
You like $1.50 movies even more!
Your parents never kissed you�your parents never kissed each other.
Your friends ask you to translate the scribbles on chopsticks (like you really know what it means!).
You call all your parents friends "auntie or uncle".
You get nothing if you do well in school, but get in big trouble if you don�t.
Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees�you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow" into them and wear them for years to come.
Your family always cheer for the Asian athlete competing (eg. Michael Chang, Michelle Kwan, etc).
Your parents or relatives have goldfish swimming in an aquarium.
Your first generation relatives have a statue of an obese, bald-headed man surrounded by children.
Your parents collect jade jewelry.
Your friends from China think anything from the old country is considered "good stuff".
You know not to eat the oranges or tangerines arranged in a little pyramid.
You always drink tea after a meal.
Your dad owns at least one bird.
Your parents grow vegetables in a garden.
You use doilies to decorate your furniture.
Your friends automatically assume you�re good at math.
You are good at math!!! (the hell with humility).
You know how to pick out the meat in watermelon seeds with your teeth.
Your grandmother rapped your knuckles with her chopsticks while reaching food with your fingers.

You know you're japanese when

You know that Camp doesn�t mean a cabin in the woods.
The men in your family were gardeners, farmers or produce workers.
The women in your family were seamstresses, domestic workers or farm laborers.
Your Issei grandparents had an arranged marriage.
One of your relatives was a "picture bride."
You have Nisei relatives named Tak, Tad, George, Harry or Shig.
You have Nisei relatives named Keiko, Aiko, Sumi or Mary.
You�re Sansei and your name is Janice, Glen, Brian, Bill or Kenji.
You�re thinking of naming your Yonsei child, Brittany, Jenny, Lauren,Garett or Brett, with a Japanese middle name.
All of your cousins are having hapa kids.
You have relatives who live in Hawaii.
Your mother looks like a gorilla with a perm.
You belong to a Japanese credit union
Wherever you live now, you always come home to the Obon festival.
The bushes in your front yard are trimmed into balls.
You have a kaki tree in the backyard.
You have at least one bag of sembei in the house at all times.
You have a Japanese doll in a glass case in your living room.
You have a nekko cat in your house for good luck.
You have large Japanese platters in your china cabinet.
You have the family mon and Japanese needlepoint on the wall.
You own a multicolored lime green polyester patchwork quilt.
Your grandma used to crochet all your blankets, potholders and dishtowels.
You check to see if you need to take off your shoes at your JA friends� houses.
When you visit other JAs, you give or receive a bag of fruits or vegetables.
When you visit other JAs, you know that you should bring omiage.
When you leave a JA house, you take leftover food home on a paper plate or a Styrofoam meat tray.
You keep a supply of rubber bands, twist ties, butter and tofu containers in the kitchen.
You have an air pump thermos covered with lilacs.
You know that Pat Morita doesn�t really speak like Mr. Miyagi.
You�re mad because Kristi Yamaguchi should have gotten more commercial endorsements than Nancy Kerrigan.
You know someone who has run for the Nisei Queen Pageant.
When your back is sore, you use Tiger Balm or that flexi-stick with the rubber ball on the end that goes, "katonk," "katonk."
After funerals, you go for Chinameshi.
After giving koden, you get stamps in the mail.
You fight fiercely for the check after dinner.
You�ve hidden money in the pocket of the person who paid for dinner.
You don�t need to read the instructions on the proper use of hashi.
You know that Benihana�s isn�t real Japanese food.
You eat soba on New Year�s Eve.
You start off the new year with a bowl of ozoni for good luck and the mochi sticks to the roof of your mouth.
You know not to eat the tangerine on the top of the mochi at New Year�s.
You have a 12-pack of mochi in your freezer�that you still refuse to throw away in July.
You pack bento for road trips.
Your grandma made the best sushi in town.
You cut all your carrots and hot dogs at an angle.
You know the virtues of SPAM.
You were eating Chinese chicken salad, years before everyone else.
You know what it means to eat "footballs."
You grew up eating ambrosia, wontons and finger Jell-O at family potlucks.
You always use Best Foods mayonnaise and like to mix it with shoyu to dip broccoli.
You use the "finger method" to measure the water for your rice cooker.
You grew up on rice: bacon fried rice, chili rice, curry rice or red rice.
You like to eat rice with your spaghetti.
You can�t start eating until you have a bowl of rice.
You use plastic Cool Whip containers to hold day-old rice.
You like to eat your rice in a chawan, not on a plate.
Along with salt and pepper, you have a shoyu dispenser at your table.
You have a jar of takuan in your fridge.
You buy rice 25 pounds at a time and shoyu a gallon at a time.
Natto: you either love it or hate it.
As a kid, you used to eat Botan rice candy.
You know the story of Momotaro.
You have a pet named Chibi or Shiro.
Someone you know, owns an Akita or Shiba dog.
You went to J-school and your best subject was recess.
At school, you had those Hello Kitty pencil boxes and sweet smelling erasers.
When you�re sick, you eat okayu.
Milk makes you queasy and alcohol turns your face red.
Your dad owns a Member�s Only jacket.
Someone you know drives an Acura Integra, Honda Accord or Toyota Camry.
You used to own one of those miniature zori keychains
You have a kaeru frog or good luck charm hanging in your car.
Your parents compare you to their friends� kids.
You hang on to the illusion that you are superior to other Asians.
Your dentist, doctor and optometrist is Japanese American.
You socialize with groups of eight or more people.
Whenever you�re with more than three people, it takes an hour to decide where to eat.
You and your friends call yourselves "Buddaheads," but don�t like it when white people do.
You�ve heard your name pronounced a half-dozen different ways.
You know that E.O. 9066 isn�t a zip code.
You�re not superstitious but you believe in bachi.
You never take the last piece of food on a plate�but will cut it into smaller pieces.
As much as you want it, never ever take the last�anything. Enryo, enryo, enryo.

got more asian jokes if you guys want some more!

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