I do
and i think it should be preserved.

I hated it when my mother taught my sister
"just say bye bye (English)"

I on the other hand taught her
"slightly bow your head"
"when talking to the elders, use Dạ in front of a sentence"

my mother on the other hand, doesnt care about it
my mother is pretty much typical

i hate the fact that we are losing our traditions and politeness because we think its "uncool"

Bowing is not part of the Vietnamese culture, that's for kids only. As an adult in Vietnamese culture when you talk to each other, you stand up straight, you don't bend/lower your shoulder/back whatsoever. Bowing is pretty such considered as "khúm núm" in our culture, you don't want to do something like that

nope

Isn't bowing a Japanese thing?

yeah i still bow to the elders, and i still have to cross my arms

yea i bow and say thua bac when i see an elder.

NOPE

What the fu-k are you talking about?

I think he's talking about lowering your head when you see an elder person instead of bending your whole body which only Japanese still do today.

I don't know about you oversea born Vietnamese but since I was a little kid my teachers taught me to lower my head when coming across an elder so it's been a habit for me and my friends, we always lowered our heads when coming across a teacher or an elder. It is very disrespectful if you don't. Even if you're an adult when you see someone your parents' age you should lower your head before starting a conversation with them.

Yea, and khoanh tay too while saying "Da thua bac/ong/ba".

I have never come across a Vietnamese in my life in VN or oversea who would bow their heads infront of elders except kids who are under 8 or something like that. I used to do that too, but it was when I was like a kid, but not as an adult like it is now.

@Kaosq: Right.

We're talking about lowering our head instead of bending our whole body.

If you don't lower your head to an elder then you're pretty ill-brought up.

@land: I don't know what kind of people you grew up around with but I think lowering your head before starting a conversation with an elder is a pretty basic manner that everyone needs to know.

Lowering your head like I said, only kids have to do it, I had to do it too, but as an adult, I have never seen any Vietnamese done it in my life.

But how dare you said it's not part of our Viet culture?

Kính lão đắc thọ

Kính già, già để tuổi cho

Kính trên nhường dưới

^^^ Do proverbs like those mean anything to you?

Maybe you and a few who would lower your heads when you talk to the elders but not me nor the rest of the Vietnamese in VN or ovesea that I have seen in my life.

i figure your parents didn't teach you well and you hang out with people whose parents didn't teach them well

No, it's just that you are ignorant about your surrounding

No it's that you're one of the street people who don't know basic manner of cuối đầu chào và nói "thưa bác" when you're about to talk to an elder.

I have to say "thưa" but I dónt have to cuoi dau. And please get off your high horse moral etique shiet

Yes you do have to lower your head, even though it's just a little like a cái gật đầu. Just because you don't that doesn't mean it doesn't exist in Viet culture.

Did you see the replies here?

3 people say "no": You, fadedmofo, and vietxgod
4 people say "yes": luumanh, neinei, Kaosq, and Me

so even among the us oversea Vietnamese, the number of people who lower their head to elders is still higher than the people who don't.

What are you trying to prove? That the majority of Vietnamese lower their heads when they talk to their elders based on a few replies on a pathetic internet forum? Or a statistics record documented by the Vietnamese government? I live all my life in VN and oversea among Vietnamese so I know what I'm taling about, if you don't like it, your choice!

I was replying to your comment "bowing is not part of Vietnamese culture". Apparently it is It's just that in modern days many young Vietnamese don't do it anymore.

i don't bow to elders but when in vn i have to wait for my grandma to eat first before i start to eat when we are having lunch and dinner


but in the U.S. i don't wait for my parents to eat first before i start to eat ....

no but I fold my arms and chao

^ when you chào you're supposed to move your head down, aren't you?

dont worry about landneck
hes a typical Viet youth who has been poorly educated in Viet politeness
there are a lot of people liek him nowadays, no..theres too much people like him

back in my days, 1995, when i was in primary school
the principal and teacher would smack us for not bowing

at the beginning of class
we have to stand up as the teacher walk in
and then bow after the class captain say "lễ"
and the same thing after class
those who fails to do so will be smack with a ruler 30 times in front of the class

whenever i saw an elder on the street, i have to lower lower my head
and if he/she happens to be a grandpa (70 years old + ), i have to lower my body

my classmates would never dare seeing an elder and not bow (or at least lower our heads)

this once time, i forgot to bow to one of my friends mother
she told the teacher (i assumed) and then the teacher called me after class and give me 10 smacks to the bud


NOW HOWEVER.........
impoliteness is so common and so acceptable that..
....being polite is actually a wrong
people would look at you weirdly if you lower you head
now, instead of lowering your head and greet the elders goodbye, you just say "bye bye (English)"

i am determine to keep this act of politeness alive
i will not let it die, like others (eg landneck)

its so sad to see Viet youths these days behaving like brats
so sad...

I bow vietnamese elders, who are much older than me, but not those who are 1,2 years older and not to americans

I think it's becoming a lost tradition.
I remember having to fold my arms and giving a slight bow all the time and chao bac/ong/ba also.
You're still supposed to do it as you get older. Most children of villages and rural areas still learn this.
Only problem is we don't keep that tradition. Especially around city areas or overseas in this modern era where we see no one giving this sort of gesture at all. I guess we prefer getting closer to our elders nowadays. That gesture just widens the gap between the elderly and the young.

I have to lower my head and say "da chao bac" or "da chao chi...."

my mom made me do those horrible things, she's a polite/environmental freak like qwe123 (without the hypocritical part). If I do not comply there will be no special home made meals and get nagging till death. She will unleash her bitterness of fading beauty and menopause on me and only me.


^_____^

you know why/
because theyre ill educated and mannered

of course. I don't bow my head to people who are my elder siblings' age, only to people who are my parents' or grandparents' age


yea. it's sad to see that. I think it's b/c most families in cities are too busy with their businesses to teach their kids manner.

i did not say you do

im sorry but i find that questionable
Japan has one of the world's longest working hours and yet and still managed to keep their politeness
same with Singapore........

we have to drink, have to to shop, have time to go holidays, have time to bludge
and yet we cant find any time to teach the basics of being humans?
its not we dont have the time, its because most of us dont care
most of us think its "uncool" to be polite
most Viet youths these days have that attitude

"tien hoc le, hau hoc van"
if we dont have the basics of being humans, then how can we live as decent human beings
shame shame shame

what!? why should we bow? lol

^ LOL Don't act so silly. You're not even Vietnamese.

lands, stop being stupidly stubborn. yes, well-educated vietnamese do bow/lower their head to the elders. all of my family members both in the us and vietnam do. most of my friends (except for those who aren't well educated nor brought up properly) do. you need to hang around and learn the proper vietnamese etiquette from xigon!

so just because it's in the vietnamese section. that means only viet people can.. post..? >.< so where's the right section for me? lol

^ again. stop acting like a joke Brooklyn Of course you can post in Viet Chat but stop making stupid comments. This topic is obviously about Viet culture and the OP wants to ask Viet members whether they bow to the elder. You're not Vietnamese and you made the comment "what!? why should we bow? lol" <--- That is ignorant because you know well that in Asian cultures you're supposed to respect the elders so you question "why should we bow" is stupid. Understand that? You sound even more ignorant when you say "what!" like it's something new to you, like you never saw people bowing to elder before. Your "lol" parts make you sound like a fool for laughing at a respectful manner.

xigon, i like your new pic honestly, does your mom dress and style your hair for you? lol..u look very fob...and i really do like your fob hairstyle...lol, it's very 80's & 90's...lol

u definitely get picked on at school with a look like that.....

here i am, my first time on AF today...and i see you!!!!....again u obviously dont have friends

attention seeker

i've seen japanese and chinese people bowing at each other ^^ of course it's something new to me. kiwis don't do this stuff >.< we rarely ever see that here. yes if i'm allowed to post in the section then it's pretty much the same thing as saying "you can voice your opinions aswell" which what i am doing. she hasn't indicated that "only viet members can ask and answer".

^ i know. but if you were gonna answer, please at least don't make your comment sound ignorant.

Actually, yes. I do bow my head a little and greet adults/elders and other people (Yes, even to non-Asians). It's become a habit of mine, truthfully, lol. I do it all the time when I use certain phrases, such as "thank you." Unfortunately, my parents aren't too indepth on tradition, but they do want me to greet adults and elders at the least.

When I was small my mom made me and my brother stand by the door and greet and bow everyone as they come in our house. But now, I don't bow anymore, I think I am too old for that but I still use da when someone older than me ask me something.

Since I grew up in the US, my family never taught me to bow to my elders--even my grandparents didn't think anything of it. I'm guessing that's because they thought that since they moved to the US (before I was born), they don't need to teach me how to bow and how to greet elders in a respectful way (all I'm taught is to say "chao", followed by the appropriate title for someone)--also, I think its because we used to live in areas where there weren't many Asians at all (but now we live in an area where there are a lot of Asians), and my family didn't want to weird non-Asian people out by bowing.

However, my mom keeps stressing me to say "hi" and all those polite terms to elders and people older than me.

I get nagged all the time to.

what about "em chào anh"