One part of me tells me I should subject everything to excessive scrutiny and the other part of me otherwise, so I always face a dilemma as to what attitude I should adopt in every possible case. The escapement mechanism of my biological clock seems to work sluggishly as though a branch or a weak obstructing object is hindering its mechanical process at every teeth forcing it to grind its way through. It seems that this has for effect of weakening my impetus to be more cautious and I can't help. I have committed the sin of becoming indolent. This is to the point that I do not even want to think about anything I do. While it may be comforting that I do not practice any religion and thus I don't have to fear divine retribution, I still feel a moral weight crushing my back with the sense of guilt. No, the devil of indolence took control over the government by force, the de facto government should bear the responsibility for this! No, I don't want to be involved with this! It has come to the point I don't even want to hear my consciousness “blabbering” about my wrongdoings. I can't think of a sure solution to this problem. I may ask the service of a horologist; however, it may well be a problem of mind, rather than a faulty escapement mechanism, a mistake from my part. Due to my condition, I don't even feel like trying something without the assurance that it will work. Am I doomed end up like this for life?