Heya guys and gals, I never expect myself to be writing this down in a blog or somewhere ever asking for advice...but i think this time i really need it..

I am 26 malaysian chinese guy who has a Mongolian 22 year old gf( who is currently studying in Malaysia).... I knew her about 4 months and been in a relationship with her for about 2 months till date.... My problem is that i dunno at this point of time...is she still like/love me or using me... PLS HELP!!!


In respect of this 2 months, I had done what every gal can possibly dream of..... i care for her, help her in financials, and took the effort to show "i love her"

There are many times in which she always run out of money due to some expenses...in which the last 2 months, i have been paying for her food, entertainment, and liqour.....it burning a big hole in my wallet...as i am currently unemployed now....I am looking for a job...

In the 2 months, I have lend her a lot of money for food, and everytime she uses it to buy something her heart desires...

Everything was fine except how quickly the hole in my pocket is getting bigger......until 1 day she just like show me "couldn't care less of u "attitude....everytime i am out with her, she doesnt show much reaction of care/love.... she still shows me this kind of attitude till date and it breaks my heart....


Many times i have thinking of breaking off, but my mouth just couldn't said it........I LOVE HER TOO MUCH!!



I am lost now ....PLS HELP advice.... i had consulted many friends ...and the advice was dump her....

one advice would be to test her by telling you ran out of money too, then see her reaction

Dump her.

+1

2 months and she already putting a big hole in your pocket... follow the advice above, then dump her.

haha

i had lots of problems...with this chick of mine ...

Yesterday conversation

Me : Did i change in any way that makes u love/like me less?

HEr : Yes


ME : So what did i change?

HEr : I dun know

ME : Am i still ur bf?

Her : I dun know


Talking about frustating......




Thx for the advice guys/gals.....

sixfulter, from what you have presented, she doesn't care about you.
And, it would seem that the best thing for you is to move on.
Find someone who cares about you and not how generous you are with your money.

I have had similair experiences with women who only care about your wallet.
Found out that using them for sex isn't woth it.
She is only exploiting your emotions ... so she can get what she can from you.
Please, you have to stop caring about her or she will bring you to no good end.
Oh, she probably has a bf at home.

Be wise ... move on ... find yourself a real gf.

Based on your description, the problem isnt that she's using you for your money. I think the real reason why she's losing interest in you is because your giving your value away way too easily. What I mean by that is, your compromising your own well being just to please this girl - and while you may logically rationalise this by thinking your being a 'gentleman', what your really doing is you're acting needy, and your showing that you value her above your own integrity as a man, which is very unattractive to women. Women want men who have a strong sense of reality and self worth, not a pushover who buys them gifts (unless shes a gold-digger, but most girls arent like that). Women like being lead - Set the rules, make her do stuff YOU wanna do, be a man.



I found the conversation you had with your GF quite interesting.




Me : Did i change in any way that makes u love/like me less? <--------- notice how you approached the situation in a logical way - your a guy, being logical is in our nature so you couldnt help it.

HEr : Yes

ME : So what did i change?

HEr : I dun know <----------- She feels that something has changed, but shes not sure what it is. She cant express it in the logical way your asking for. Women tend to think in terms of emotions more than logic. Emotionally, she just knows that shes lost attraction for you. What happened is that on a sub-concious level, your needy behaviour has turned her off the idea of being attracted to you.

ME : Am i still ur bf?

Her : I dun know




Hope that helped in some way.

Thx Zen and avisitor, for ur comments...


There is a little truth i believe in what Zen said.....it is just that i am cash strapped now due to jobless....and i dun have much of interest in anything....cause i am from a poor family, and she is from rich family...


everytime she always finished her money in 4 -5 days instead of the 2 weeks period, then i asked her to ask more money from her parents...she alwiz reluctant......and somehow in Mongolian culture.... men have to be strong ...n etc....

Sometimes i just want to shoot back to her, since u so favour ur mongolian guys...see any mongolian guy friends give u money to eat when u are hungry......IF yes, then u wouldn't be coming to me for food...

the only thing she cares about is drinking.....i mean drink a lot.....she been drinking the last 3 days straight.....and i spend way too much on her previously.... i know she like a man to be a man, but it hard without money and her limited interest..

besides that, she doesnt have much interest in anything else... many times i tried to sugest a nice walk in the park or just hang out by the KLCC fountain ...she just not interested and always asked " what i do there"




Sorry for the lack of details earlier....i think if i written if all down ....i think most of u guys will fall asleep reading it...

YES, PUA advice.

btw to be a man doesn't mean spend money on her, maybe it does in Hong Kong but this isn't Hong Kong. she should be spending money on you or at least not feel that money either way is an issue. you are totally failing to adopt to local culture

sounds like a keeper

mndeg, can u rephrase ur sentence...i dun get what u trying to say

Dont take women advice from him, Pokemon and geek jokes maybe

just reread it again, and don't listen to the idiot above. scrubs will always have a scrub mentality

IF SHE IS ASKING FOR MONEY AND NOT GIVING YOU ANY RESPECT, SHE'S USING YOU.

I'm sorry that you haven't figured it out sooner. You deserve someone that'll show you love and that truly shows through in actions that MONEY can't buy LOVE.

Dump her asap.

I found a picture of you.

thx.....for the advice guys...


just earlier she made me angry....she called me asking me about car rental services...said she wanna go on a short trip to Port d!ckson(an hour drive)......then i told her i will check and let her know...and i offered to help her send her to a car rental service and choose a car....but she paying of course..


It is like she didnt even asked me !!!!

i bet shes fuccin one of your homeboys right now

well, just had another quarrel with my gf today ....


should be break off permanently...

Hey all,


Just a brief updated after the last broke up.....


After the breakup on 23 Oct 09....she called me twice on mon at 4am and wed at 2am....and she was drunk....so i went to see her...

The next day she gives me cold shoulder... she replied my sms " i am not ur girlfriend , pls dun sms/call me"

Any comments?

P/s: i though things were getting better.....

Stay away from her if you want to get better.

Go find a girl who can truly love you ... HOW????
Tell the girl that you have no money but you have prospects for good jobs.
Then go out on dates and see how she reacts to cheap dates????

will try

Just an update to those who had provided advice......thehorsemen, avisitor , kenmirz and sonny angel....


Thx for everything......will leave her alone ...to see how it goes....not putting any hope to it....

Get your own life together before you try and share it with another.

Get a good job, become successful, and be content with yourself. Only then will you truly have something to offer to another, and I'm not speaking financially either; honestly if you can't be happy with yourself then what can you share?

Hey bro, thx for the constructive comments......

just a point to note that i can offer many things to the girl....if u had been reading the thread....


Can i clarify this culture issue since u are from JApan...i heard from my ex..in japan and korea.....cheating spouses/gf/bf is a norm thing.....( i dun quite believe her, just wants clarification)

I wouldn't assume you don't have many things to offer a girl, I'm just suggesting that before you try and go into a relationship with anyone, it's best to be fully grounded within first.

Actually, I'm an American, but I live in Japan; but in answer to your question, "cheating" is not all that uncommon here. It's well known if a man has a "Mistress", it's something the majority just don't mention, as it's not their business. Japanese women tend to be more accepting of a man going out and "taking care of business", so long as he's fulfilling his duties at home as a husband/father and "the mistress" doesn't involve herself intrusively to "the family" back home.

thx for the info................

what do u mean by fully grounded within?

I mean get everything together. Have a career, a savings account, a car, your own place, a well-rounded group of friends, hobbies you enjoy, basically everything to make yourself complete and content. It's then that you have the most to offer a partner, and do so with the utmost of confidence. Looking for a job and having good prospects isn't the same as having a job and a good secured paycheck. Driving a beater-car while saving for a nice one isn't the same as driving a nice one today.
Do these sort of things matter to a lady? Of course they do, as well they should matter to you as well.
Once you're there though, you'll not only feel it in yourself, but others will see it projected from you also. That's when you become an "eligible bachelor" rather than just "a friend" or "potential one night stand" material.

No sweat pal. Life is an ever challenging cycle. You did what you meant to do and satisfy with it. Know your limit, that's all. She is psychologically disturbed individual. The antidote of cure lies within her yellowish brain and red heart.



Humanity is but one family.

thx ken

Just an update.....

Monday i had a closure with her...hopefully she wont call/sms me anymore...



Moving on

Probably the best course of action I would've suggested with the information given.

NEXT!

Don't worry though. Everything always happens for a reason, even if we don't understand it now. Sooner or later you'll find you'll be a happier person for it.