Many men do not date single mothers for a variety of reasons, both personal and rational. I certainly don't. This question is specifically for single men who do not date single mothers.

I know a 20-year-old girl who is in a unique situation. Both her parents died in 2006 when she was barely 18. Her parents were first-generation immigrants, so all her relatives (with whom she barely knows and has no contact) live overseas.

Since 2006, she has been taking care of her young sister (now 15) and a young brother (now 10 or 11). She works, goes to college and takes care of her two young siblings at the same time.

So she is not a single mother, but she has all the baggage that come with a single mother. She is constantly broke and struggling. She always puts her young sister and brother before any man she dates. If a guy like me dates and goes steady with her, he will likely have to spend a good deal of time, money and effort in dealing with her young sister and brother.

Her parents' untimely death has put her in the same position as a single mother's. For all practical considerations, she has all the same baggage and problems of a single mother.

This question is for ONLY single men who do NOT date single mothers. Given her predicament, would you make an exception and date her? Why and why not?

Please do not answer if you are (a) a woman, or (b) a man who is willing to date single mother.

Why not? You didn't mention any evidence of her being and staying in a abusive relationship before hand. That's the only logical reason why I could understand why a man wouldn't want to attach themselves to a single mother anywho. If I were you, I just wouldn't invest too much time in it. Just see what happens.





p.s.
"you had me at hello"

I don't see why not, a women like that who works, goes to school, knows hardship and is independant with a good head on her shoulders is attractive to me despite her struggling situation. Just my 2 cents. U never know u might like her fam once u get to know them......

There's not a woman alive (or man) who doesn't carry some sort of "baggage" with them into ANY relationship.

Whatever the circumstances of another are, the deciding factor of involving yourself into a relationship with them should be of who they are, not of what you'll have to "endure" to be with them.

Dun get me wrong here ,bro........u can date her and maybe eventually marry her if she loves u .....

This reminds me of a newspaper article which has a story similar to urs in Malaysia.. in the story , this married business man evetually married this young gal who has a younger brother in college.........and the man helped her financially quite a lot ..........so in the marriage after a year, the gal keep asking for money to support her younger brother, but the man was quite reluctant to give anymore.....maybe due to his own problems..


So the answer to ur dating question lies.....

"If u like/love her, can u support her financially and morally" ??

If yes, pls date her...if no, help her as a friend....

Cause i think she wouldn't be strong enough to handle a breakup since she got so much in her hands already...

I would disagree.

If someone truly loved another, or found that person worthy of being loved in that fashion before they entered into that stage, whatever obstacles that stood in the way of that love would be secondary; merely challenges to overcome for success. If the priority of someone's relationship is to be put in the "driver's seat" in all matters of the other person's life, then most likely the relationship is destined for failure anyway. Relationships should be made of give and take situations, victories and compromises, sacrifices and gains, not simply games of domination and self-centered idealism.
Indeed, helping another with their life, or "helping to shoulder their baggage" as you put it, is a sacrifice, but there's another word for that also; it's called Love.

ktchong, if you care for her at all, then dont hesitate to bring up what troubles you about her. tell her how you feel about her situation asap before its too late. she needs to know too before she starts falling for you. if you cannot see beyond her siblings, then cut it off now. there is no sense in prolonging something you aren't comfortable with.

as others have said, she does carry baggage. plus as you said, she is broke & struggling. but the fact that she caring for her siblings means that she is also a loving, caring, responsible girl. if you can only see that and nothing else... then perhaps the both of you can make each other happy. good luck... and follow your heart.

I hate cliches and what if questions ...

You decide what you can handle and what you can't ...
This mean personally and financially ...
I don't know what you are capable of and will not hazard a guess.

For me, being in love means doing what it takes to make my mate happy
as long as it also co-incides with making me happy (mostly, not always).
I know what I'm capable of doing and enduring ..
so my decisions are based on what I think will work ...
then it goes to be tested ...

That's life ... a real sh!t test

I guess if you're selfish and you probably just want all the time, then yeah. If you really like her, you'd probably even think that her responsibilities borne of taking care of family is a good trait indeed.

I agree with visitor, I think men/women just took too much advice from their peers and forgot that experience really is through experiencing it and not from internet gurus and youtube videos. these so called 'stereotypical' women you shouldn't date could be a diamond a rough you decide to forego because they didn't look like the criteria set up by some self proclaimed ladies' man.

Recently I decide to ask this girl out just on a friendly brunch, she's cute but not really the girls I go out with. I asked her out because I was bored and we had a great time. Not looking to go out with her, if yes then it's great, but I can say it was way more than I expected.

Recently I decide to ask this girl out just on a friendly brunch, she's cute but not really the girls I go out with. I asked her out because I was bored and we had a great time. Not looking to go out with her, if yes then it's great, but I can say it was way more than I expected.
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so u going out with her again soon?

I read a lot of Cosmos & some other stuffs & I just want to hear the voices of Timog Members here.

What do you think ? Do u think doin the deed on your first date is a NO -NO ? why would you say Yes or No to your answers ? What kind of girl or guy do you think she/he is if theyll be doin that on the first base?