how do you guys feel about people of the same last name dating? perhaps even marrying? give me your opinions and i'll give mine.

haha.. thats just sick.

y do u ask?
r u in luv wit ur sum1 with ur last name? j/k

even though it is a very cultural taboo...
i think that we need to forget bout the taboo,
and be more like the mien ppl.

i tink the mien ppl are allowed to date their same last name too.
ie... sacechao + saechao and so on.

being hmong... we all have the same origins, but if u tink about it,
ill have a 5-6 generation gap with another thao person.
will it be disgusting?
yes it is a taboo, but i think we need to forget the taboo.
i mean as long as the other person aint ur 1st or 2nd cuzzin (directly)
then i think it SHOULD be ok.

i still wouldn't do it,
but just saying...
u can help who u fall in love with rite?
so y should a name restrict u frum happiness?

i don't know about the mien people but their is a reason for the taboo, the chinese people tried to spread the hmong people and asimulate the hmong people into chinese traditons and so on, so to keep are history alive we must married other hmongs from other clans( last name) to keep us united and not seperate.

I think it wrong.....but i guess its okay, if they really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really love each other.

i think it's more like if they

really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really

love each other.

j/p

seriously, just find someone wit i different last name

well really it shouldn't matter at all i have a grandma that's a vang and she's married to a vang too...i don't think it hurts...and they've been together all there lives and they're still together right now living live the way it is and not care about the word "TABOO"...

I personally don't really like the idea of relatives or people with the same last name marrying each other. And for those of us who aren't living in a tiny village on a mountain somewhere in SE Asia, where it takes days and days until you even see the next village, availability is no issue. . There are plenty of people out there who would be compatible with each other and not have the same last name.
If it's distantly related and the couple truly loves each other, I guess, but other than that, nope.

but there are vangs that are not related to other vangs and so on and so forth, its like a filipino lopez marrying a mexican lopez, or something. no big deal.

i think its weird for last name of the same to be marring the last name of the same

No its not like lopez and lopez. The filipinos just took on spanish last names. The're not related to mexicans who also took on spanish last names. With Hmongs, when you have the same last name, you belong to the same clan so you have a common ancestor. Common spirits.

As for the marriage thing, the Vangs seem to do that alot. I thought that was the reason why Fangs came about, they were a spin off of the Vangs so they could marry Vangs. Anyway, there are plenty of people out there to fall in love with and marry. Your choices are not very limited even if you can't marry someone with the same last name.

The short answer is, its just culturally WRONG to do so. If for nothing else, I'd say I disapprove just for cultural reasons.

^It's also scientifically wrong... because:

Incest creates Retarded babies... do you want retarded babies???


(I'm not making fun of retards... I'm just saying that if you DO commit incest and DO make retarded babies you should be ashamed of yourselves)

Yeah....that is one consequence that can happen. Well, I was always told that there are "two" types of Vangs.

but, I still disagree with marrying a relative.
What Yax said

thanks for all the replies. now for my two cents. first off, the filipinos and mexicans are not related. they both just so happened to be colonized by the spaniards. alright, i think it should be okay for people of the same last names to date or marry each other. sure, you may say that the are somehow related, but isnt everyone? i understand why it's not okay for people of the same last name to marry but it's okay for cousins and first cousins to marry. i've met so many girls in the past that i've liked but couldnt do anything about it because we had the same last name. it really kills me to know that i cant do anything about it. like people say, you cant help who you love. everybody has a soul mate, but what if that soul mate shares the same last name as you? what would you do? i like and respect the hmong culture but this is the one thing that should be forgotten.

i guess it's all cultural beliefs. if it's been drilled in your head since you were little than most of the time you'd follow that belief.

personally i wouldn't date any guy with the same last name (my hmong beliefs) or any first cousins (my american beliefs).



i have a vang cousin who has the last name neng. we asked him why his last name is legally that and he said that when his dad came to america his dad gave them that last name. the thing is that his dad is kind of perverted and checks out any person that has female parts. he probably thought that he could date or marrying a 3rd wife of any last name. well that's my theory on it.

You're such a hypocrite.

I woundn't date any girl wit the same last name....but if she has a different last name and is my first or second cousin and she looks really fine....shiet i still won't do that shiet....becuz that shiet is just nasty....foreal....keep it outta the family....a'ite.....

wait up hold a minute..wat u guys sayin bout mien ppl? u guys think it is okay wat mien people do like gettin married to tha same last name like saechao saelee saephan..and so on? huh? i dont get it..i dont see how that is good...i mean i am mien nd all but i dont dink it is right to date mien people..well for me as a mien person cuz i dink that all mien people are related somehow..but thats juc me so yeah..i dont noe wat u guys think but dis but i think it is nasty and ewwy..u guys noe wat i mean..i mean some may get married or even date the same last name but u have to noe their history on who they are to be datin them..jux to make sure u guys arent related so yeah..

I see nothing wrong with it. I'm having sex with my step sister almost every day. joshua_rain69@yahoo.com

i hate this topic. taboo(same last name marriage) is unacceptable and prohibited in the hmong culture. it been like that for century and thousand of years...

chinese don't marry their own last name... it's consider SICK...

you hmong kids are despicable.

Considering the various cultural values to which Hmong Americans are exposed, this topic should be discussed rather than be swept under the rug.

Personally, I cannot imagine marrying within my own clan because that cultural value has been branded in my mind; however, I do not think it is appropriate to marry your first cousin even if they do not have the same last name (like from your mom's side of the family). This practice is not uncommon, and even encouraged in some cases. In any case, this cultural practice of marrying outside the clan has helped prevent the emergence of genetic diseases as well as various mental issues that plagued many royal families. It may have also helped in maintaining peace among families of different last names as well.

It's sick to be dating someone with the same last name, or someone with a different last name but they're your first cousin. It's sick because it's just like dating your own brother, just that it's from a different mother and father.

wow xeemlauj.. you're really passionate about this..?

Well.. i came to this thread because of a comment in another thread about endangered Hmong last names. The topic is taboos against other last names.. Vwj was the example (I can think of many others so I'm not picking on Vwj last names:P)

Here's my question:

How do you think taboos come about?

You can legally marry (as close as) your second cousin as long as she is not in your clan. The whole idea about marrying outside your clan is to build allies with other clans. A person is less likely to be disruptive in settling disputes if someone from your clan is married to someone from the other clan.

Consider how embarrassing it would be:
1- Introducing your wife: Ntawm no yog kuv tus muam. Nws yog kuv pojniam.
2 - Titles for your children: Tus no yog koj niam thiab nws yog koj phauj.
3 - In-laws: Tijlaug, tam sim no koj yob yawm yij lawm laiv! Niam hlob, txiv hlob, niam ntxawm txiv ntxawm, kuv pe nej ua niam tias yawm txiv nawb!
4 - all those jokes about people from the deep south who marry their own sisters and first cousins will become jokes about you and your own people.

And finally, thaum ib khub niamtxiv tsis sib haum, peb ib txwm muaj cov laus los nthuas los yog los qhuab qhia kom hlub niamtxiv ntawd sib haum sib yoog. Leej txiv muaj cai coj leej niam mus rau neejtsa nthuas thiab leej niam muaj cai coj leej txiv mus rau kwvtij nthuas thaum nkawd muaj teebmeem. Yog koj yuav koj tus muam, neb yuav coj neb tej kev nyuab siab mus rau leej twg pab nthuas neb ua neej?

Set your hormones aside and really think about what your doing since it will effect more than just you. It will effect both your immediate families, your entire clan and your children. Marrying your own clan is an extreme act of selfishness. Ntawm peb hmoob ces neb cov menyuam yuav tsis huv. Txawm neb tej kwvtij thiab viv ncaus thiab lawv tsev neeg yog neeg zoo los neb ua li cas lawv tsis hu tas nhro nrog neb. Cia neb ua nkauj muam nraug nws xwb mog es txhob nrhiav kev nyuab siab rau neb ib tsoom xeem thiab neeb tej me tub me nyuam.

Kuv tsis cem tsis nthuas nawb mog, thov txhob xav li. Koj nug es kuv qhia xwb.

I don't know if it is going to be our generation to break this cultural issue but for sure our kids or grand kids wouldn't be able to keep this culture intact. one thing i like to recommend to everyone of us is that our culture about same last name marrying each other is still very strong, so don't try to break this. It is not worth it. The divorce rate are high. I don't know if I believe in soul mate. So let's think clearly before you make any mistake.

However, let me tell you that in the past Korean believe the same thing as we do. They do not allow same last name to get marry to each other. But about the past 30 years or so they can't keep it up so they no longer hold that as a cultural violation anymore.

For sure we won't be able to keep it. But it is not going to be us. And let's think clearly and you shouldn't never let that happen to you. Not worth it.

you're right. I've always thought the girls with my last name are good looking. good for the go. also, I don't see it as anything wrong being the girl is not related in any way. however, it does conflict with moral issues as with ethical code and/or religious beliefs. nevertheless, nature says get it on baby!

THATS NASTY! SERIOUSLY, ISN'T THERE
ENOUGH FREAKING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD
YOU HAD TO GO AND BANG YOUR COUSIN?

GET A DAMN LIFE.. THIS IS THE REASON
WHY I'M GLAD I HAVE AMAZING PARENTS
WHO ARE INVOLVED IN MY LIFE.

It is good to have strong moral or strong concious about what's right and wrong. Keep it up.

It's taboo cuz your not suppose to do it. some people are just desperate...lol...If you have the same last name, it doesn't matter what side of the mountain..lol.. or for us what state your from you have a common grandfather way back. Green, White, or Black, it doesn't matter which dialect, yea i bet some of yall didn't know there we're black hmongs too. They speak closer to the white dialect but a different accent and some words are totally different. Anyways, some of yall say as long as they love each other, don't yall mean as long as you lust each other..lol..The logic is just isn't right, this as long as you love logic is wrong. If that's your thinking and mentality then it would apply to all sorts of things. for example it's okay to do drugs as long as you love it, it's okay to hit someone cuz you love doing it, putting someone down cuz you love being in control, it's okay to have an affair cuz you love your mistress or mister, and finally it's okay to have sex cuz you love that person. You guys see whats wrong with that as long as you love each other statement. it's an excuse to taboo and do other things. oh yea and for the clan within a clan thing it's still taboo. Every clan has different divisions within that clan, still taboo. I'm a Ly and i know of at least 3 different kinds of Ly's,(i'm Lis sauv) i'm not talking about spelling(Ly, Lee, Li still the same clan, just mispelled by an INS official or deliberately changed by us. Across the board hmong people taboo old and young. I would consider marrying your aunt's daughter even tho she has a different last name is still taboo, that's your cousin and your pop's niece. Back in the days in Laos they did that cuz the next village was too far away and they didn't want to get mauled by a tiger...lol...but this is America a vast sea of fishes so please don't taboo cuz it's an abomination and don't be so desperate, control your hormones...lol..and that's my 2 cents and more.

you noe how it is.. it's like dating a relative..not soo good is it?...

okay! i know about the last name taboo. but i was wondering can you marry or date your sister in laws or brother in laws, brother or sister.... you get it! like for ex. my sister is marry to my brother in law but im dating there brother. can you do that?

Of course you can. Plus it's not gross either. It'll be funny tho.

Technically, not all babies from an incest relationship will turn out with retardation - I learned in Biology that people from incest relationships can possibly have mutations: 6 fingers, 6 toes, etc. He said many people of Amish communities, being so close-knitted, have a long history of these mutation, since they marry within their circle only.

Personally, I'm not for this. However, pass marrying people with the same last names, I say even if you are from the same blood (ex. your lover is your mom's younger sister), don't even think about marrying/making babies with this other person - this will possibly cause gene mutation for your babies!

as long as they are not related. if i dated aaron carter, i wouldn't mind lol

We know you would. If I was to have sex with ____ (my last, whom is famous) I would too. As long as the person is not related, I wouldn't mind. However, I am not well inform about the white culture. Is it that, every Carter there are, there is a possibility you are related to? I have that very small chance to enact something of that nature.

It's not accepted in white culture either. It's just well strange. How would one react to that really.

I have found some interesting info I would share with you.

polygamy

Thank you for sharing the info. However, I was looking to gain something different as in the white culture.

In white culture I hate to use that word really. I am a Caucasian yes, but still American. In some areas yes marriage or sex of the same last name or relation is acceptable. The Mormon's practiced Polygamy and Multiple marriage for decades in this country. It is illegal today but still in practice. The vast majority (96% to 98%) of Caucasian families do not marry within the family for any reason. The remaining percentage are those that still practice that heritage of the Mormon.


The only benefits I could see of multiple wives / polygamy is being able to Sire large families.

The only other benefit of Polygamy would be if you had to reproduce in a situation that would warrant the survival of a species or in this case a ethnic culture. But today there is no such need for that. The detriment to this practice and choice of breeding would be birth defects, increased susceptibility to disease and or a weakened immune system.

That is about all the information I can provide. Hope this helps you.

1. Any hmong can marry any other hmong person if they have two different last name no matter how close they are. An example of this is my Uncle on my mom sides has a daughter, i can marry her no problem. Same as my Aunt who is my dad's sister has a daughter i can still marry. This has been going on for so many generations now. So dont say that different last name cant marry, it happens alll the time. I personally wouldnt marry my same last name but i dont mind marrying my first cousin (different last name of course) because it is acceptable by our culture.

That is wrong on so many levels. Then again I'm not Hmong.

I thought you were Hmong? Well my nephew married his first cousin(different lastname of course)....she was hot though...so I can't blame him lol.

No man. Why would you think that? Vim kuv paub hais lus Hmoob/nyeem tau lus Hmoob?

So what are you then?

Ethnicity: Racial Abomination

So you're half metalhead, half Hmong I see lol.

That makes perfect sense.

but i thought hmong people like to marry with close relatives like cousins or something because you guys want to :keep it in the Family"

my best friend who is also like me, FILIFINA, is married to a Hmong guy..but before they got married he was forced to mary his cousin and was forced to move to TEXAS from SOCALI...he moved to satisfy his parents but came back months later and married my best friend in Vegas, just so he wont marry his cousin...for months the parents despised them but they got over it an now accept my bff as a part of their family...

can I marry u? lol

I hope you're joking.

Sure in Hmong culture this is okay, but by marrying "no matter how close they are" will cause a high possible chance of your children having genetic deformations, like 6 fingers or 6 toes or a lot of freckles, etc. Proven fact.