I want to know why there are so many cheating in the Hmong community this day. Men who are really old that has so many kids, where the kids all grown up and have their own life already but the father who suppose to set a good example go out and sleep around with another men's wife, or they go to Lao and marry a 15-20 years old girl. (How sick!) The same go for women. Hmong women this day are not like they used to be. They are more stronger and tougher to state their opinions, I guess that's a good thing, but some just went over board. So many women go out to party, get drunk and sleep with other men. There are many divorce case around the the hmong community where hmong women goes to work and then cheat on the husband, or met a guy and then run away with him leaving a whole bunch of kids with the husband. Are we trying so hard to be white that we are adapting everything in the white community? I think a few women who cheat is because of men. I believe Hmong men cause Hmong women to do the thing they do this day. Not all cases, but most cases its the men's fault. For men, they cheat because that's who they are. (Pigs!) Anyone else have any other reason why there so many cheating and divorce in the Hmong community this day?

Some people cheat because they are not happy with life and seek happiness. I wouldn't blame them for that. Probably have a nagging wife with kids that don't listen. If it's like that and someone that can clear your mind from these things come along. They will most likely cheat. this goes for both men and women.

I would. If you're not happy, why don't you get a divorce before cheating? Cheating is worst than getting a divorce and then doing your deeds elsewhere. That's my view on it.

(WARNING: contraversial argument follows)
As for women asserting themselves, hmm, maybe if we keep them all at home like the old days .

I guess they need a place to come back to incase it all goes wrong. Besides to them OGs, a devorce is worst than cheating or hmong people wouldn't be having more than one wives.

That's just deceiving. Some people have no empathy.

I agree that cheating is much worst than a divorce. But you'll have to also consider that most of the marriages were not based on love, trust, and honesty in the beginning. Most were forced to get married and never really got a chance to know the real person they've married. However, being hmong and getting a divorce (the hmong way) is hard. The OG would not understand but loves to hear other people's problems, they emphasize on staying together no matter the what the consequences are. And sometime they're right, some couples should at least take the initiative to try to work thing out instead of taking the easy way out. If things don't work at all, than a divorce shall do.

If you know that your spouse had an affair, I don't think you'll see him/her the same again.

Hmong people are perpetuating the problems themselves. If they don't want Hmong women cheating on their husbands and vice versa then why do they continue to open more Hmong clubs and bars? Why do they continue to throw more parties and more gatherings? Why do they allow for "child marriages" to happen? Why can't Hmong men listen more and talk less? Hmong people are the root of their own problems. Think about it.

Marriage is just a religious term. I don't know what they call it in Hmong, but I've had an uncle who's gone through with 5 wives.

They cheating to the community because they are so hungy for foods, their lives are so poor and their born like that way...But those people lives cant live more longer...they will be elimination by God one day. Believe me...

for the older generation like 35 and up...the problem is from the fact that there isn't really any love between each other. when they were young they married because...

was kidnapped or did the kidnapping.

forced to by parents because got pregnant. you know how both guy and girl has to marry if the girl is pregnant even tho it wasn't real love.

also because forced to because they never really dated so parents told them they have to marry this or that person and they did.




that doesn't include the people who are just plain horny and dishonest.

they cheat because as the OGs used to say it its the ladies fault they can't have a son so marry someone else maybe they'll give u a son...other reasons too but i'll let yall explain the other ones because people these days are............

horny guys cheat cuz they lost feelings to their wife and they simply want "someone" else..
and for women, cuz they are dumb, and dont know what the hell they are doing..

lol...thats harsh on the females but its true...never thought of that

i agree!!

i don't know how much statistics of hmong on this but, i've heard from hmongs about early marriages and fixed marriages.

if you are married young, chances are you've never seen the other experiences that you could have. thus alot of people turn to others and have affairs, eg a church friend who got married early.

another one is the fixed marriages, not that i've heard alot of hmong "fixed marriages" as in before you were even born that you are already fixed to marry somebody.

but i'm talking about, parental urging to marry somebody they think are good for you, especially to marry the same race.

Hmong people are doing these things, today due to the society we live in. America, and you know how courpted it is. We all change, and dont value what we used to when we lived back in Asia. Its not just us that is doing these things in are society. All other races are doing it too. Chinese, Viets, and other races that have moved to this country. Its like we lost all are value and respect comming to this country. Too much freedom , and thats how it is. Got gays, transvestsites, etc. America I my point of view is the most nastys country, courpted in life style which we/ people in this country choose to live.

actually my mom and i were talking about this and she said that how stupid hmong women were back in laos (this is her opinion).

hmong women didn't really have any rights in the past in laos. the men were allowed to date and married (young) girls even when they were already married. the only way men would be in trouble for sleeping around is if he slept with a married woman. also young girls grew up in a (hmong) culture that allowed men (of any age) to "kidnap" and marry them without even courting them...and usually the parents allows this.

i think that hmong women are happier now because the married and unmarried women in my family are happier. even tho there is a lot of break up in marriages at least hmong women don't have to sleep, live, and see that her husband is doing the exact same thing with another women and pretend to be happy in her life...well i guess some don't even try to pretend but they have the right to be that way.

we are the way we are now because we have taken the american way...which could be bad or good but i say it's good for women. now women can choose their own man and choose to stay with him or not.





also their's nothing wrong with people wanting to be who they are. the way you're are saying it is like how "white" americans use to be like towards the blacks.

Hmong women are stronger now in everything they do but still weak in the sense that they are so easily influence by others.
NO ONE make them do anything... Everyone make their own decision however this is note to all Hmong man out there. Just because you marry a Hmong girl doesn't mean it gives you the right to let yourself go... you still need to get up in the morning work out, dress nice and still look good. Just because you are marry does not mean you are dead. try to do the things you use to do before you got marry.

o0o0o! so true.

Then what bout that one Hmong Lady who cheated on her Xiong husband with a Lao dude... resulting in a murder of her husband.

that explains alot.

I soooo agree with you. But its not the openings of new clubs and bars, its the, keep your spouse happy so they dont cheat on you. Have more trust, stop acting like the male should dominate the women, and STOP forcing your CHILDREN to marry young. The younger the marraige age, the more risk of it ending in tragedy.



Other than that, I think Hmong men cheat, because in our culture, its acceptable, and they think that if they do it, they'll still be accepted into the culture... let me rephrase that, THEY WILL be accepted back into the culture because at the moment, its a male dominant culture. They think its OKAY to do that.

Hmong women cheat, because they dont feel loved by their husbands, they feel used, betrayed, belittled, and they dont seek divorce because in our culture, love isnt a valid reason to seek divorce. Even domestic violence isnt a valid reason. Another reason is because they're forced to grow up so quickly when marrying young, that sooner or later, they burst and they need to experience what they missed by marrying young. And also because Hmong men tend to be overly possessive of what they do, how they do it, because thats how the men are bred from a young age. And they're bred to push the wife aside... to not include her in things because she is "just a woman". $hit like that makes me pissed...

sorry dude, but your uncle's not cool.

why do they cheat? because that's what human beings do! we all cheat! all sorts of cheating...but anyhow...this is about cheating within marraige...they do that just like how other ethnicities would do it too! it's just a human being behavior...who knows...give all the possible reasons...it's gonna bound to be a possiblity...

all I know is, after you've said that, I wouldnt want to be your husband...

Hmong Queen:




I don't think so woman. It goes both ways. Women and men cheat. It's just the way human relationship works. There are the good ones and there are the bad ones. The divorce rating in Hmong is pretty high. Hmong people cheat or get divorce is mostly due to this new society and culture.

Yes women cheat. Most of the killings i've heard from the media are due to the women cheating their husband.

Yeah, Hmong people seem to be okay when the man cheat but when the woman cheat on her husband all hell break lose. So what make them think that they can cheat and hmong woman should just sit and take it? The man that's been cheated on kills his whole family because he can't cope. My teacher from 3rd grade was hmong and when his wife cheated on him he end up killing her and himself.
So are men weaker than woman when it comes to situation like this because the feel that they lose face?

I don't think thats a very good excuse...if you truly love someone, you wouldnt cheat.

Hmong people kill because it's personal, the logic behind it's just crazy but that's how primitive logic works.

Hmong people practice polygamy - they've always have. It's part of our culture and system of belief I guess. so they cheat. and even marry more women.

We may view it as wrong because we were born/raised in America and we are a different generation. We grew up differently compared to our parents. We have an array of opportunities, unlike our parents. We have different values and morals... so we think differently when it comes to this subject.

Hmong people have no such vocabularies... And this isn't just hmong people alone, other race does it too.

A man cheat because a woman let him do it. Man only sleeps with a women who lets him sleep with her. Although she can choose to sleep with any man she wants to.

People cheat becuase they must feel like they can get away with it. Once caught and confronted, then see what happens. Serious business!

It's not necessarily that we're trying to be white...it's the community we live in and we have to adapt to live in it. The men you see cheating and running of to Laos and Thailand to marry younger girls are actually men who I believe cannot understand or cannot conform to the new society we live in, so they regress back and do what they believe they can do and that is CHEAT because they are "men" and they can do whatever they want to do...however, they really can't since we live in a different country that doesn't give them the same right as when they were living in Laos...they're doing this to appease themselves from losing something they had. Women are cheating because they have more freedom in this society, they're able to be more open and to work outside the home and so they have the opportunity to meet new people...and blah blah blah...You can't just blame men and say that they're the one's who causing women to do what they do...it's giving power to the men by saying that, you're saying that men still has control over the women...and they don't, women makes/made choices themselves, it almost sounds as if you're trying to blame men for the wrongs women are doing these days and that's not the case at all...women are just as eaual as men, that's why they're able to make mistakes, cheat, drink, party like men...just look at this society it self and it's divorce rates, and think, we live here, it's bound to affect us too.

Maybe so...but hmong parents live here too...they've seen all the changes in their children they know what is wrong and what is right...they're grown people...and I hate to say it but when it comes to cheating...I could understand why men do it. They're just not happy with their life...whatever it may be...it's not that they do not love their children but simply the fact that they want a new thrill...that's why they seek younger women...that doesn't mean its right but they still do it anyway...i've talked to married men who's been through this before and they all gave me the same answers :" it's not that i don't love my children but once i walk through that door where it's me and just the other woman...as sad as it may be...I can wipe my emotions for my children clean" I hated the comment when I first heard it and I still do...but I can honestly say it hepled me understand it a bit more...

Not only that...there's so much cheating in our community while playing games and $hit too....totally takes out the fun.....

wow! i haven't been in this thread for a while now...


eh???


though you would come or not come and reply to this...i didn't say that i personally would do what i said...


well said!


mann...that is so totally true!!! and all of that goes back as wanting to be the WINNER...the "i'm superior" crap $hit and stuff...truely annoying...

Cheating in the Hmong community is getting out of hand and sickening!!! I know this guy, he's cheating on his wife with his cousins wife who looks like a dang-it witch!!! I'm serious, and when she talks, she sounds like one too! But anyhow, this will be the second time, they run off together...the first time their husband and wife took them back. Gross!!! I just don't get it??? Their husband and wife are such good people, why why why would they do this when each of them has like 8 or 9 kids???

eh...love is blind??

Take care of your women and she'll take care you and vice versa. There'll always be cheaters out there no matter what race, culture or whatever. Just roll with the punches and choose wisely.

cheating use to be allow for men and not women. but not everything is even. so nothing to complain. show love to each other then there's no cheating.

Men cheat because they feel that it is their right as a Hmong man. Women cheat because now they can. They don't have to worry about being abandoned or shun by their family any longer. Women are getting stronger and more independent. There's no excuse for cheating. Everyone cheat simply because they want to and they can. If the wife or husband don't care about their spouse's cheating, than well, they're having their cake and eating it too. If the spouse does not accept the cheating, they simply get a divorce and that's that....move on to the next one.

THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.

fu-k these cheaterz......are fu-ken fu-k face only.........married womenz take off with a guy N leave your kids behind for their husband........Think again......they dont want you for who you are .......all they want is to fu-k you N the @$$!...who wants a women have two, three kids n up, when they can get someone younger N prettyer than your old rinkles @$$ .....get it straight cause its called ( one nite stand, N than the rest is homies nite stand, than its over for you)....thats all....nice N easy..........Think again for those stupid @$$ wife who taking off for like a week or two comming back to their husband...what the fu-k.......go fu-k yourself.....who wants a HOE...N for those guys, i understand its runs N the guys genes, No comments about that.....but if you have a pretty wife...you wouldn't cheat behind her......for those cheaterz, most of them tend to have ugly wife........when they see pretty gurls or womens, they go at it to gain there number of beauty gurls they can get.....or witch they never selpt with a kute gurl before....

Geez, you sound pretty bitter!!!! Someone dumped you for someone better looking? I get what you're saying, but you also confuse me.

So it sounds like, it's ok for a guy to cheat on his wife, but it's not ok for the wife to cheat. That's a double standard. If men are allow to cheat, than why can't women do the same? What makes you think that women can't find a better looking guy as well. Maybe the husband's @$$ is old and wrinkely and the wife wants to find a good looking man. And also, what makes you think that women can't have one night stands? If men can be players, so can women!!!!! How do you know that you're not the one getting played???? If a guy is sleeping with a lady that has 2-3 kids, well, apparently she has something he wants that a single, pretty girl doesn't have. For instance, maybe he's hella ugly and all he can get is that lady with the 2-3 kids. Sorry, honey, but alls fair in love and war. What goes around, comes around.

cheating is part of nature, you can't control nature, therefore you cant control cheating. Animals aren't designed to stay faithful to one another just look at the animal kingdom for crying out loud, the dominate male gets all chicks. For humans it's the good looking guy with right money and right stuff; he's going to get all the girls. For women if a male can't support her and protect her and her future children then she leaves him to go find or more suitable male. It's a design people! Also for everyones information we also have sex because it feels good.

depends on one's morality and values.
but nowadays, marriage is not praticed all that much anymore b/c people are too lazy to work things out all the time. not only that, they believe that a piece paper isn't needed to confirm their love. people just remain boyfriends and girlfriends b/c they could walk out and walk in anytime without doing paperwork.

honestly, there is no such thing as pure love anymore. people these days are all about sex sex sex. it's a disgusting world of promiscuous wasted people who can't appreciate the now and, before they know it, life is over and they realize they end up with and have nothing important to claim. it's sad and stupid at the same time. these days, everything is given an "ok" so everyone has a "right" to do what they want. there's no longer a regard for a good "conscience" to determine what's right or wrong. everything's a compromise.

it's all about satisfaction. people will never be satisfied unless they count their blessings and appreciate the present, the here and now, and make the most of it as tomorrow may never come.

but then again, some of these old ppl were forced to get married. but even so, they should at least divorce before doing what their hearts wish. aaaah well, the older folks aren't too smart either when it comes to humanity.

People cheat because they can't control their lust. No one can be satisfy with their love life if they can't control their lust.

who kares, let them do what they wanna do..