I served my b/f the walking paper...

I am trying to get back with you, but you are not budging. I understand you are upset, and I apologize for that. I am trying to remedy what I messed up, but you are shutting me down. I love you, I love you , I love you. I have not forgotten you and I have helped you out in many endeavors as well. I really would like to reach out to you without being a pest on your business phone, home phone, or any phone. But any form of communication is acceptable now, because it seems like my efforts of redemption are going towards the toilet. I am asking for one more chance. If you need some time, I'll give you that. At this point, hell, I'll give you anything you want. I'll even see if I can give you that 5, 10 or 20 karat ring. Materialism isn't the answer but I'm willing to try it. Kobe did it, had penetration and still is married....... of course with a big ol' ring she has. I didn't do any type of contact, and I'm just about out the door. Something is wrong with this picture. I mean I would like to marry you in a year or two. I could work on getting the ring. Seriously, I would love to take you out. I have offered but sometimes your busy, and sometimes I'm busy. But that does not fade out the option. Now that I have your schedule for what it is worth, perhaps we can set up something. I do want to be in your life, and I told you I just have to be more careful with my MOUTH. That is what gets me in trouble, because things are blown out of proportion, misjudged, misled. Maybe I'll get a set of blinders. Anyhow I hope to hear from you. I'm sorry for this whole thing. Now this is a letter I'm writing to you.

why can't men take "NO" for an answer??? What can I say??? I changed my mind... "I DON'T LOVE HIM"

what exactly did he say or do? you got to give me some info for me have an idea.

you can not understand what he wrote to me? I haven't even answered the phone to entertain his thoughts maybe someone can tell me why can't the guy get the point?? Guys change their mind and dump the girls well, he mentioned the "M" word and I cringed and everything just fell apart... so I thought it was best to part and brought up instances

I'm sure if you refuse all contact with him, he'll just have to accept that "no" in time.

sure... I would like to believe that.

Is this Mr. Speciman you once proudly displayed. Awww lilruff, I knew you would come to your senses but you're to late, I found another freak.

I said serious minded...

Sure he'll have to forget sơner or later. not like hes gonna stalk you.. unless hes like that.

we'll see... he does interact with my boy... tis is hard... if my boy becomes sad then I have to break down but if my boy is fine without a male role model we'll survive, I don't want to break their relationship and that subject has not arrived tis another reason why I avoid the phone, but seriously you do not understand how I feel towards men in general. I don't trust them so with that thought I don't see myself as wifey material. Dating is easier but now its so harder to go when there's another soul involved UGH UGH UGH I knew tis day was coming I thought I could roll with it like saying after the 10th years of dating and there's no 5 karat tis would be our opportunity to part and explore our own ways cuz before Nicho there was him and I and before we dated I DID mentioned to him about this dating contract I have "no 5 karat no LiLRuffNeckPrincess after the 10th"... 6 mos shy of our 9th he beat me to the punch line and let out the "M" word first he was upset that I put a price tag on our love and all along he thought I was joking about the dating contract now my head is spinning

aww why are you so afraid of the "M" word?

Is it because u had a broken hart before?

I never been married and my dad left us... I don't trust men.

what also bothers me the most is the fact that I made up my mind it should be respected and not nagged and picked on, he should look at it like this girl is tripping I need to let her be... but no he tells me otherwise. Marriage is something I have to feel I don't feel it to get married. I don't see myself getting married. Maybe the other crappy part is tis all talk and I see no ring to match it so that also bothers me, why talk about it if you ain't got it like that to give, I call that string along a bendaja... UGH

You cant really blame him eh... I mean im sure you guys have been together for a long time so he isnt gonna let go just like that.

I suggest you continually give him the idea that it is over and your done with, cause guys need that extra bluntness.. If you are ignoring him and stuff, he'lll just come back for more. thats what i noticed from my expiriences :|

i don't understand why he still wants to be with you...but to even bring up the whole kobe thing shows how immature he is lol...sorry.

just phone him and leave him a message...make it perfectly clear...also tell him when u phone him that if he continues to "harass" you....you will file a restraining order against him....and with him being black....i am pretty sure that he will not want to get into it with the cops.....he knows they are just itchin to send him to jail!...

and....don't lose hope in men..a few hundred thousand bad apples, STILL, will not ruin the entire bunch!

I'm intending to stick wit the guns I'm gonna take this all in perspective and allow myself to see what lays ahead right now he's ruffling my feather lets just see if he sings a different tune when he tries to find a way for that 5 karat The one I want is ruffly 45 G's so far we'll make 9 yrs in 6 mos time is flying I'm sure he'll feel less desire to want me as wifey again I can't express to ya the way I feel towards marriage...

aww man po po drama naw I don't do po po RULE #1 never ever call the po po, tis why you have friends That Kobe instance... I use to admire Kobe before that incident where he played his wifey dirty... I loss interest in KOBE and moved on to the next star LeBron James but I did show interest in that dang ring she got

*hug* ah sweetie, it's going to be ok, just let things settle down for a while. people don't think straight when they are emotional. my only comment is that if this guy is nicho's father, than you have no right to deny them a relationship. let them decide.

If all things fail, get a court order for him so he can only come XX miles close to you.

u heard the girl! no po po drama!

hey, my friend's sister had to do that, cuz that guy was coo coo and kept coming back.

you have my condolences

Your bf must understand that you never love him. You are

lilRuffneckPrincess,

You seem like a pretty cool chick, so I am gonna attempt to give me my advice..... hrmmmm... what would I do?... lol... I dont like court stuff, I think its kinda harsh, so all I can sugest is you see him (with a friend if you feel uncomfortable) and have a chat to him, tell him straight out. He prob. need to ask you why and stuff... or maybe he needs to get whats in his mind out of his system. Also he prob wants to see/be with you more now because "you always want what you cant have" kinda thing... Just see him face to face and tell him... if all fails... get him beaten up

Never fear.... Piggy is here 2

Got off the phone like 3 hours later... I don't like drama so we talk of today’s event including what I did like posting the letter on A.F.... He laughs... and he says anything to get my attention is well worth it especially the Kobe part and the ring...

b-man - thanks for the hug... no I will let the two decide after all he did step into the game with me and no he's not the father but does help raising him "THE ENFORCER"

SacOfMentos - I doubt he wanna leave but I do need time to myself, how can I be with someone if I don't love em to marry them? So he's willing to step back a bit... Coo coo eh yea he's coo coo dealing with me...

ham_let - ya no po po drama!

mndeg - yea I'm taken aback by it all

blue_04_star - well at least I keep it real, he may or may not like the way I feel about it but hey there's always a reason for my madness. And yes I don't trust men.

Over all at least mr specimen and I don't tear each other up on the phone, he's learning to let me speak cuz I hate it so much when I speak and interruption - well like I said to him if it takes all this for that sweetness to shine I tink I might drag this on, hey I got needs to and I'm sure he doesn't mind being used for the moment if he's really seriously about "M" = me oh yes 5 karat still applies along with that 10 yr throughout our entire relationship I've been loyal and never brought him any drama, I keep things real and I communicate my wants and desires but I know when to bow down when its a lose/lose situation and the point is It's very hard for me to trust a man, I don't know how he be able to show me if all these yrs build around another I'm not feeling him like most would to me they're just blah blah blah "words", you know I don't wanna be that bendaja. To me marriage is something, its a lot to put it in one page but tis the basics, give me a foundation for me to stand on I don't know if I'm coming or going so I rather leave...

[quote=lilRuffneckPrincess,Jan 4 2005, 08:53 PM]

>>>>I have offered but sometimes your busy, and sometimes I'm busy. But that does not fade out the option. Now that I have your schedule for what it is worth, perhaps we can set up something. I do want to be in your life, and I told you I just have to be more careful with my MOUTH. That is what gets me in trouble, because things are blown out of proportion, misjudged, misled. Maybe I'll get a set of blinders. Anyhow I hope to hear from you. I'm sorry for this whole thing. Now this is a letter I'm writing to you. < <<<


sorry girl, i just had few drinks, and when i was reading that letter,i realized that last part is from Eminem song STAN.
holi crap,i hear music.ok, i am out of here

If your not willing to trust men , you should learn to , because without trust a relationship is pretty much pointless if you want to have a good one. And as for your dad leaving you , you need to move on with your life , just let the past go and move on. Holding a grudge against the past won't benefit you.

khu91x - that's the trouble I'm having trust issues and unfortunately he is man...

Omen666 - huh??? Stan??? awe come back when you is sober you'll remember Stan lyrics Rolling On Floor Laughing My Donkey Off anyboo make sure you take a pot wit you

QUOTE

I have offered but sometimes your busy, and sometimes I'm busy. But that does not fade out the option. Now that I have your schedule for what it is worth, perhaps we can set up something. I do want to be in your life, and I told you I just have to be more careful with my MOUTH. That is what gets me in trouble, because things are blown out of proportion, misjudged, misled. Maybe I'll get a set of blinders. Anyhow I hope to hear from you. I'm sorry for this whole thing. Now this is a letter I'm writing to you.

sorry girl,but that part,i dont know, i hear that stupid song(in my head)
every time i read (this cheap Champagne is making me crazy) .so, don`t get mad at me,ok

oh i'm sorry for being ditsy. i guess i'd hate to say because it might happen to me one day, but if he'd dones stuff like that then i think he deserve to learn. and like they said once they did it they'd have a taste for it.

IIIIYYYAAA!!!!!!.....Jackie Must do Research On woman!!!!!


tsh tsh tsh...i thought you were more wiser then this lilruffneckprincess
alright so what you don't trust men....i don't trust woman either....

**whisper**i had bad experincec with broken hearts as well**

but hey gotta take the risk no matter what......do you really love him
do you really care....dose he care....dose he really love you...if he dosen't
then i imploar you find someone that dose care......but take your time in doing so
if he really llove you he'll regret it in time.......you try apologizing.....and
if he dosen't accept then....just walk away.......eventaully he'll come running
hoping that you don't go running to him


but i still say woman are evil......they still have part of there own fault on this too
so...if you can


Confucia says......Talk it out.........

heck if i was your boi and you were mad at me...i try acting like a little baby
to get your attention....works all the time.......
you should try baby cry and baby talk to the one you love
it always works.....

alot of girl thinks i'm cute when i do this...
but my look average..... ...so really they thought i was hott

sad

i agree with you on that one.



lilruff, i'm not sure why you keep bringing up the 5K ring? if marriage is a definite NO with this guy, why even joke about it? from what you've told us, he's seriously into you and wants to be with you for the long haul. dangling a "hmmm maybe if i get this material thing" in front of him doesn't make your situation any easier. besides all of that, you really need to step away from the dating scene all together. as khu91x said, it's rather pointless to be in a relationship if you don't trust your partner. you're basically there just to have someone, ANYONE, around to make you feel at ease. but when you, in any way, feel threatened emotionally or you are forced out of your 'comfort zone', you back away. in healthy relationships, you cannot hold back your emotions because you feel 'uncomfortable' or out of your element. it's time for you to focus on YOU without the distractions of some guy.

as for your ex handling the breakup, you need to be firm and not give any silly ultimatums. if this is what you really want, you need to reiterate over and over and over. not by just using words, but in your actions as well.

i'm sorry about your rough breakup, i totally know it can be hard as hell sometimes. i just hope you take this time to refocus and figure yourself out.

*hands sniff the title "AF Psychologist"*

hey LRP,

i agree with sniff. she has some good advice there. you need to sort things out. you obviously have trust issue which you need to work out or it will effect you your whole life. i hope you are able to find someone you can trust one day. it can be a lonely world. believe me there are people out there you can trust. but before you can do that. you have to be able to trust yourself. take some me time and figure out what is going on. sh*t like this works in cycles. you have to make a conscience effort to make a change. take some "me" time and figure out what has happened, why it happened, what you want in a relationship AND why. thats one of the reasons i took a break from dating after my LTR. start with an end in mind.

we're here for ya-

it's so easy to say Learn to trust but when I try I don't feel it, the back of my head tells me things thus I start acting erratic maybe its the things he does to me that makes me the way I am... You know there is two side of the story and yes I'll tell y'all my version I feel if I can't trust the guy I rather let go and start anew elsewhere, like I said I feel this relationship is a lose/lose relationship yea in order for me to even consider marriage 5 karat is the key for any man but again he also hasn't produced that rock, yes he does know me well to catch my attention but not well enough to know I can just walk away without a say... BUT I do care for him, this is why I'm doing what is best for US, parting ways, letting go and be freee... but he doesn't see it my way. I'm down now... when my mind is made up and now I feel my heart is in the right place, I feel I've done all I could but please don't misunderstand me, I didn't wake up and decide this wasn't right for me. Remember his happiness was mine...

in all honesty I think you might have overreacted. I mean havent you guys been together for *8 years* now? I wouldnt be suprised if he mentioned marriage. Most people who've been together that age wind up getting married. I think you need to sit down and really ask yourself why you're afraid of marriage. you said its because you dont trust men, in which case you shouldnt be with one if you dont. and if you really love the guy you should at least talk to him and discuss this because chances are he's probably freaking out alot more than you are. Not talking to him isn't going to solve anything and is probably going to do even more damamge. possibly irreparable damage. Thats what I think.

it's not easy to learn how to trust people, if DISTRUST is what you learned early on from your parent(s). some people can learn how to trust with the help of a significant other while in a relationship, other people need to step away from all that chaos and figure out things on their own. you just need to figure out which type you are.

it sounds as if, deep deep down you really think this guy could be "the one" but are too scared to let yourself be that vulnerable with someone. relationships aren't just about love, but they're also about timing. if you two are on different pages, then this is not the thing for you right now. take some time for yourself to clear your head and do some soulsearching.

this breakup may be one of the hardest things you've had to deal with emotionally, but look at the upside of it. you're finally confronting your issues w/ trust and you are seeing it's effects right in your face. use this as motivation in trying to change yourself for the better. i feel for ya grlie

MEN are pain in the donkeys... we spoke, we're speaking but I'm not ready for him yet. Change is good and thanks for the time y'all put...