My guy and I have been together for nearly a year now and I just recently found out that he had been talking to other hmong girls on the side. I was angry and upset with him for a while but we've kind of come to an understanding.
So is it wrong to think that its okay for hmong guys to talk to alot of girls at one time? Even though they have a girlfriend? And then hate white guys for doing the same?

Because I know that if i was dating a white guy and I found out that he was talking to a lot of girls on the side I would dump his @$$ right there and then and find myself someone else. But howcome it is so different with hmong guys? Is it because I'm also hmong that I'm being so lenient?
Who else has come across this kind of dilemma as well? guys and girls?

Being played is being played. He must be a fu-king pro if your still with him....

It's more common in traditional, patriarchal cultures, where there was no feminist movement like in the Anglo countries. I call it male privilege.

Are they "just talking", or is there more going on that you'd like to admit? If it's the former, then there should be no problem, especially if there's trust involved. If not... I'd investigate, because the longer this goes on, the worse the outcome.

Please elaborate on 'talking to other girls on the side'

I agree with Jake.

Not good at all, why are you still with him?! You sound like a very nice and somewhat traditional girl...perhaps if you and him were still living in the old country, you guys could date and talk to as many girls and guys as you want because ya know back there, no one has an "official BF/GF", they're allowed to court as many girls/guys as they want.

Of course it's wrong if you have the mindset of the younger generation, girl, seriously think about what he's doing to you. A better understanding is that you should tell him to get his act together and have eyes only for you...if not LEAVE THE FOOL, he ain't worth your time. Find a better Hmong guy who will love, respect and see only you as his sweetheart. Didn't you say you were gonna find a "nice white guy who isn't afraid to talk to an intelligent, confident, well educated hmong girl."? Lol.

Why do you think it's okay to dump that white guy but not your Hmong BF if your BF is doing the same thing?! I guess it all comes down to how traditional you are...if you are VERY traditional then I can understand why you would allow it and let it slide and allow your man to talk to girls on the side but if you believe that he should only be faithful to you then like I said DUMP THE FOOL. Anyways...him doing that is just an indication of how he'll continue this dalliance of his with other girls if you two do decide to get married or become more serious about the relationship. Complicated stuff.

Hey, can I get with you if I promise to be faithful?

If you're doing the same and having the so called guy "friends" too then there's really nothing to complain about. If not, than you should drop his @ss while you can before you become too attached or he discovering your "victoria secret".lol I'll just assume for now that he has already seen the goods and not satisfy, thus the girls on a side.lol Don't date because you need a date or relationship in your life. Only date because you need a person in your life.

Well since posting this topic, his @$$ has been dumped. I did decide that if he couldn't stay faithful to me and only me then it wasn't worth it. The"nice white guy who isn't afraid to talk to an intelligent, confident, well educated hmong girl" will have to wait for a little while. I think its the fact that I as a person expect more from a white guy than a hmong guy in terms of faithfulness because as you can see these days even married older hmong guys can still cheat and marry younger women. We are seeing this happen left, right and centre. Yep complicated stuff.

Talking to girls on the side is just that. Mus tham hluas nkauj hmoob on the side. Like all hmong guys in the old country do. But I don't know if he has ever gone beyond the talking. What do I care though coz i'm FREE!!! Free as a bird now. No strings attached. Muahahahahah!!! Those other girls can have him.

Faithful all the way. I don't think he could ever handle discovering my "victoria secret".

Didn't I already REJECT you in the other thread?!

You? Faithful? Ha! LIAR! That's the funniest thing ever. You're such a pro at those cheesy one liners that I'm always amazed with the stuff you come up with! You've had a relationship with almost every girl on here except for your cousin KojTusMeHavnim LOL. Hey, Beastly lilasiankid...this is what I REALLY think of you...lol

If you snuck in my room I'd:
[x] fight you...then kill you by smashing that poster frame of those Hmong leaders over your head.
[ ] poke you
[ ] let you spend the night :P
[ ] cuddle
[ ] chill
[ ] what the?

If you kissed me I'd:
[ ] kiss you back(on the cheek)
[ ] be surprised
[x] throw my shoe at you and then kill you by stabbing my shoe's heel into your beastly heart. lol
[ ] just keep walking

If we walked home, I'd:
[ ] hold ur hand
[x] push u in a bush so some other beastly thing can come and kill you, muahahaha!
[ ] trip u
[ ] get on ur back
[ ] talk about things

You should:
[ ] text me
[ ] make this your status
[ ] be mine
[ ] be my new best friend
[x] really go and OD on that Chinese medicine so you can stop harassing me! Ben dan!!! j/k



It's a very good thing you dumped him, he doesn't deserve you. I can understand why you're generalizing Hmong men if you see so many broken marriages...but I still believe there are some good Hmong men out there, just have to keep looking. Well, whatever you choose...the faithful white guy or a new Hmong guy, good luck! Haha, YES! Don't let him get near your Victoria's Secret until after marriage and you know for sure that he is the one!

Try men. Folks with out values and self control will let their goose loose whenever the opportunity presents itself. That's just how men are... Doesn't matter whether they be black, white, brown, or yellow. Some people just don't know how to appreciate life...

Good and only answer that needed to be said. I am a dude and sometimes, I look at other girls.. you might think that is horrible but ALLLLLLLLL GUYS DO THAT... but again, there are differences and limits. I don't ever plan to touch girls (okay to look, bad to touch) and when I think about touching or even seriously talking to other girls, it makes me think about my girlfriend and how I would hurt her. I would rather not risk it if what I have is already great.

Stop lying to yourself. You know you wanna not touch.

To or not? hahaha.. I THINK about the acts but I would never do it. haha. It is okay to look, not touch. <------ Standard. What makes it better is when I tell my girlfriend about the girls when I am with her, she will rate them as well.

It doesn't matter what race someone is. It still happens.

You know you do it if she gives you a wink.

Nah.. I would honestly tell her "Okay. YAY! Thank you." but than laugh it off. She knows I wont.

You know, you're in denial... That's just how faithful some men are.

Whether your s/o is Hmong, Black, White, Red, or whatever, if you're uncomfortable w/something in your relationship, you need to speak up and follow through.

Don't ever feel obligated to do/say something just b/c your bf is Hmong.

But I've only been searching and searching...for the one! Please I'm so desperate now....



Like me

Well................since you're THAT DESPERATE and I kinda feel sorry for you.....................

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm... WILL YOU BE MY online BOYFRIEND, LILASIANKID? MY SPECIAL SWEETHEART? MY BOO? MY MAIN SQUEEZE? MY SEXY BEASTLY CUDDLY HUNNY BUNNY?! PRETTY, PRETTY PLEASE?



















j/k

HAHAHA Muaj siab rau kuv lawm puas yog? TSIS KAM! TSIS KAM! TSIS KAM! Yeej tsis muaj hnub li!!!! Puahahaha!

I don't think you've been searching hard enough for her nor are you truly that desperate yet. Yes, you are a good Hmong man...any girl would be lucky to have you by her side...but you'll be better for some other lucky Hmong girl.

Owwww

oohhh rejected it's okay lilasiankid

Hey there Txoomsuab2, how YOU doin??

Told you that you can never be faithful, lilasiankid!...txoomsuab watch out, he's such a playa, especially in real life, he's had like a hundred girlfriends before...he'll probably con your heart like what yajthaugluv said lol................but now that I think about it, you two would be an even pairing than txoomsuab X yajthaugluv or txoomsuab X yourmudoisweak....go for it guys!

What? I was yours? YES!!!

lil u is funny as heck
and bio u got me hella weak, yaj is probabbly like that in real life so no, your has a better view of life but i don't know him like that, and lil he is just a funny online guy, i don't meet people through online chat rooms

Bioshock was just playing with you, duh!... You're extremely short temper and me, exactly your opposite. Real life, let's just say you don't qualify the way you are now.

sweety short tempered is better than being optimistic and negative all the time

But aren't you short temper and optimistic at all times? Those are the two worst combinations.

no i'm just short tempered i never put people down and i don't think about the worst cases scenerios and i don't feel the need make others look dumb

YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! You were always mine...I'm so sorry we have been fighting lately, forgive me? I've always loved you, honey cakes, from the first moment you said, "Ha, I got you" and then I got you and you were like, "Hey, you got me!" Hehehehehehe, remember, Hun E BunZ? And when you went to NYC, all I did was wait for you to call me and tell me how you were doing...I was so scared some pretty New York girl was gonna take my beastly hunny bunny away from me.

My confession for you, lilasiankid, is that I LOVE YOU! I'M OBESSESSED WITH YOU, you're the only reason why I'm still living...I was only pretending to play hard to get because I know you don't like easy girls. I'm the only one who can make you happy although I'm not really pretty and I'm not a good dancer like your Chi-town girl. I don't want Txoomsuab to have you or any other girl to have you. I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU! I know you don't believe in long distance relationships but will you please be my online BOYFRIEND? If we ever meet...maybe we could even be a real-life couple...what we both have always wanted! I LOVE YOU, my Beastly lilasiankid! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOU! Be Mine, please?

that is so cute lol

Oh, txoomsuab, I really do hope lilasiankid accepts me again...I wanna start over again...

Ohhh I dunno if I can keep up, but I LIKE!

So is that a yes? Please say YES! and I'll stop trolling, please?

Sure! jk....Yes? Yes! Please stop!

Yes, you'll be my online boyfriend or yes, please stop?!

Both!

Oh you know what'll be CRAYZYYY, if we change relationship status on facebook too...Come on crazy Bioshock

OMG, that's what I was thinking too! I'm speechless...you really want me to be your online girlfriend?

Yeah! It'll be at no risk to you. Tired of me? Just unfriend me!

No, it's not a good idea, people will think we're weird, not that they don't already...haha, "online couple" can you image...what are we...major nerds or something? Can't even meet each other and talking nonsense. I'll stop trolling now. Goodbye.

Hey, everyone...I was just kidding, I'm sorry if ruined these threads and created that one that's full of nonsense.

Yes...I won.

Hey, on another note, if you're ever serious..I have no problem meeting you muahaha

You did not win! I could go on! Don't test me!!!!!

You sure are here; never put others down or make others look dumb, but you love telling others that they are.

Anyways, hope you're only having fun in here being like that and not in the real world. It'll be too sad. And OH... Sorry, for the harassment. You're such a fun person to pick on and I only did it because I can be an @ss on the net, reality really does have its surprises. I guess I'm feeling emo today.

@$$ on the net? only? ur just rude

Hot damn, did y'all see that last post? Now that's a thread jack if I've ever seen one.

And you kids think I'm the problem.

featherduster, for me dating is okay to talk to others, but as a couple like married or either bf/gf is not okay.

LOLzzzz....this is turning out into a relationship advice and rejection thread. Anyway maybe i should have explained the question a bit more. As a hmong person knowing that hmong people do sometimes if not always talk to other girls or guys whilst they are in a relationship is common can you also apply those rules to say an american/ australian/ white guy, chinese, japanese, korean, african, indonesian, philipino guy/girl too?

Like because you are hmong and they are also hmong you kind of understand when your significant other talks to guys or girls (im talking only about whilst you are gf/bf...marriage is a whole other ball game) so you try to be lenient and 'understand' and won't get as angry at them as say if your gf/bf was white or another asian nationality. Am i making any sense here? I know that if i had a white or other asian nationality b/f and i found out he was also talking to other girls on the side i would pretty much make it so that he wouldn't be able to reproduce anymore but those rules don't apply to hmong guys in my books. You guys may criticize me and blah blah blah but that's just how i function.

But like i said marriage is a whole other ball game so if i find my hmong guy or whatever nationality cheating on me then i'm going to take him to the cleaners. Just how i work. The leniency while dating does not apply whilst married.