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stu_v
Hi folks.
I'm friends with an asian family in my own country. Recently we had a dinner party, and I appear to have made several social mistakes. I don't want to be the
ignorant gaijin, so I'm making an effort to find things out.
Can anyone advise on what is accepted protcol for a guest in a Japanese home?

Help from anyone on this matter is greatly appreciated.
huaren
QUOTE
Hi folks.
I'm friends with an asian family in my own country. Recently we had a dinner party, and I appear to have made several social mistakes. I don't want to be the
ignorant gaijin, so I'm making an effort to find things out.
Can anyone advise on what is accepted protcol for a guest in a Japanese home?

Help from anyone on this matter is greatly appreciated.

When you see Japanese, just greet them kokochiwa! embarassedlaugh.gif
RockHeart
Please forgive me of what i don't realize to conflict or misbehave myself while i communicate to you all!! Because i am a little different and doing a little different way too. Please advice me some behaviors and mutual respect!! I thanks so much..It might help!!!

BachMaSon,

RockHeart.
:genius:
huaren
QUOTE
Please forgive me of what i don't realize to conflict or misbehave myself while i communicate to you all!! Because i am a little different and doing a little different way too. Please advice me some behaviors and mutual respect!! I thanks so much..It might help!!!

What are you talking about?
直隸總督
QUOTE (stu_v @ Mar 28 2004, 09:25 AM)
Hi folks.
I'm friends with an asian family in my own country. Recently we had a dinner party, and I appear to have made several social mistakes. I don't want to be the
ignorant gaijin, so I'm making an effort to find things out.
Can anyone advise on what is accepted protcol for a guest in a Japanese home?

Help from anyone on this matter is greatly appreciated.

in East Asian culture, you should bow down to every stranger you meet, especially the elders
ace123
O this is a good one when u go to there house as a gust u should take off your shoe when u go inside the house biggrin.gif
DaMo
Avoid sticking your chopsticks into food in a vertical position, as it is similar to a the position used in funerals. Also, always place them close to each other in parallel i.e. do not cross them or place each one on either side of your plate.

If you want your glass filled, fill your neighbor's glass. If your neighbor's glass is full, or your neighbor does not fill yours in return (they may not be that traditional), then fill your own.

Leave the last morsel on the serving platter, and on your own plate as well.
Kulong
QUOTE (DaMo @ Mar 28 2004, 04:36 PM)
Avoid sticking your chopsticks into food in a vertical position, as it is similar to a the position used in funerals. Also, always place them close to each other in parallel i.e. do not cross them or place each one on either side of your plate.

If you want your glass filled, fill your neighbor's glass. If your neighbor's glass is full, or your neighbor does not fill yours in return (they may not be that traditional), then fill your own.

Leave the last morsel on the serving platter, and on your own plate as well.

These sound a lot like Chinese etiquette
DaMo
QUOTE (Kulong @ Mar 28 2004, 04:38 PM)
QUOTE (DaMo @ Mar 28 2004, 04:36 PM)
Avoid sticking your chopsticks into food in a vertical position, as it is similar to a the position used in funerals. Also, always place them close to each other in parallel i.e. do not cross them or place each one on either side of your plate.

If you want your glass filled, fill your neighbor's glass. If your neighbor's glass is full, or your neighbor does not fill yours in return (they may not be that traditional), then fill your own.

Leave the last morsel on the serving platter, and on your own plate as well.

These sound a lot like Chinese etiquette

Yeah, I think you're right. I am confused. My Japanese-American friend told me that sticking chopsticks upright into food is a bad thing. Anyway, I'll just quote from a more knowledgeable source:

http://www.japan-101.com/dining/dining_chopsticks.htm
QUOTE
Do not dig around in dishes for choice bits of food. Eat from the top and choose what is to be eaten before reaching with chopsticks (don't hover around or poke looking for special ingredients).
Never stab or pierce any food with chopsticks.
Never stand chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice (or anything else, for that matter, but rice especially because the act is part of a funeral rite)
Don't move dishes around with chopsticks.
Don't lick or suck the ends of chopsticks.
Don't let food drop off ends of chopsticks.
Don't shove food into your mouth with chopsticks. Soup bowls, but no other dishes or bowls are brought to the mouth in Japan.
Never touch food in a common dish with the pointed (eating) end of chopsticks. Use the blunt end to transfer food from a common dish to your own plate or bowl (never your mouth). (No hygiene problems if all do this.)
Never use chopsticks to transfer something to someone else's chopsticks or someone else's plate or bowl.
Place pointed ends of the chopsticks on a chopstick rest when chopsticks are not being used.
Kulong
QUOTE (DaMo @ Mar 28 2004, 04:46 PM)
http://www.japan-101.com/dining/dining_chopsticks.htm
QUOTE
Do not dig around in dishes for choice bits of food. Eat from the top and choose what is to be eaten before reaching with chopsticks (don't hover around or poke looking for special ingredients).
Never stab or pierce any food with chopsticks.
Never stand chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice (or anything else, for that matter, but rice especially because the act is part of a funeral rite)
Don't move dishes around with chopsticks.
Don't lick or suck the ends of chopsticks.
Don't let food drop off ends of chopsticks.
Don't shove food into your mouth with chopsticks. Soup bowls, but no other dishes or bowls are brought to the mouth in Japan.
Never touch food in a common dish with the pointed (eating) end of chopsticks. Use the blunt end to transfer food from a common dish to your own plate or bowl (never your mouth). (No hygiene problems if all do this.)
Never use chopsticks to transfer something to someone else's chopsticks or someone else's plate or bowl.
Place pointed ends of the chopsticks on a chopstick rest when chopsticks are not being used.

These all sound just like Chinese dining etiquette.

QUOTE
Never touch food in a common dish with the pointed (eating) end of chopsticks. Use the blunt end to transfer food from a common dish to your own plate or bowl (never your mouth). (No hygiene problems if all do this.)


I don't know about Japanese but usually when Chinese eat, we have a "gongkuai" or "public chopstick". There should be a pair for each dish, or a spoon if the dish simply can not be picked up with chopsticks. These "public utensils" are only used to transfer food from the dish to your own plate or bowl.
huaren
May I know what is the meaning of "Chinese Jihad Society"?
DaMo
QUOTE (Kulong @ Mar 28 2004, 04:49 PM)
These all sound just like Chinese dining etiquette.

Well, maybe they're the same.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chopsticks
QUOTE
General etiquette

The chopsticks should not touch the mouth. It is also poor table manners to suck on the tip of the chopsticks.
If there are serving spoons or public chopsticks on the table, use those to get the food to your own plate/bowl before switching to your own set.
After you have picked up an item, it is yours. You should not put it back in the dish. (So set your aim before raising your chopsticks.)
It may be a polite gesture to pick up the best piece of food and send it to your guests' bowl. (Use caution in this practice; many people observe some kind of special diet and picking food for your guests may not be appropriate to each person's tastes. Furthermore, it may be best, due to hygienic concern, to use the serving utensil instead of your own chopsticks if you perform this gesture. If chopsticks are used, invert them and use the other ends to pick up the food.)
Never rest your chopsticks by sticking them point-first into your bowl of rice. This is reminiscent of ancestral offerings and can be seen as disrespectful.

Chinese etiquette

Dishes are usually prepared in such a way that each piece is bite-sized so if the item is too small or too big to be picked up by the chopsticks, then it is not designed to be eaten with the chopsticks.
The rice bowl is raised to the mouth and the rice is shoveled into the mouth using the chopsticks. If rice is served on a plate, as is more common in the West, you should eat it with a fork or spoon. It is quite tedious to try to pick up the rice, grain by grain.
Chinese don't traditionally eat rice from a plate, but bowl.

Japanese etiquette
In general, chopsticks should be used for eating and no other purpose. Do not point with chopsticks, or gesture with them, or use as drumsticks, or use to bang on a dish or bowl to catch the attention of a waiter or waitress or mother or father.

Do not dig around in dishes for choice bits of food. Eat from the top and choose what is to be eaten before reaching with chopsticks (don't hover around or poke looking for special ingredients).
Never stab or pierce any food with chopsticks.
Never stand chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice (or anything else, for that matter, but rice especially because the act is part of a funeral rite)
Don't move dishes around with chopsticks.
Don't lick or suck the ends of chopsticks.
Don't let food drop off ends of chopsticks.
Don't shove food into your mouth with chopsticks. Soup bowls, but no other dishes or bowls are brought to the mouth in Japan.
Never touch food in a common dish with the pointed (eating) end of chopsticks, for hygienic reasons. Use the blunt end to transfer food from a common dish to your own plate or bowl (never your mouth).
Never use chopsticks to transfer something to someone else's chopsticks or someone else's plate or bowl.
Place pointed ends of the chopsticks on a chopstick rest when chopsticks are not being used.

Korean etiquette

It is clear that the small surface area of the chopsticks makes rapid eating less efficient than with a larger implement. And unlike most Asian countries, Koreans tend to use a spoon for a lot of the things chopsticks are used for. Koreans use a spoon for their rice and soup, and chopsticks for everything else at the table.
Xiao Rong Ji
QUOTE (huaren @ Mar 28 2004, 06:02 PM)
May I know what is the meaning of "Chinese Jihad Society"?

Chinese because that's what we are (although you don't have to be to join). Jihad because we see our struggle as a holy war. And Society because we're social creatures.
DaMo
QUOTE (Xiao Rong Ji @ Mar 28 2004, 04:55 PM)
Disclaimer:  This is a joke.  Most if not all of these guidelines are untrue.

Doesn't change the fact that you are a madgo.gif who is so thick-headed as to think that simple disclaimer can make your insulting stereotypes of "Japanese ancient culture and tradition" go away. I for one am not laughing. sure.gif
RockHeart
If we have to do alots of thing in order to match their culture. So we have no confidential sitting to have a meal. Because we are so nervous to do something wrong...nahh?? why don't we go-out for Mc-Donald then?? icon_redface.gif

RockHeart.
:genius:
shiro
QUOTE (DaMo @ Mar 28 2004, 06:36 PM)
QUOTE (Xiao Rong Ji @ Mar 28 2004, 04:55 PM)
Disclaimer:  This is a joke.  Most if not all of these guidelines are untrue.

Doesn't change the fact that you are a madgo.gif who is so thick-headed as to think that simple disclaimer can make your insulting stereotypes of "Japanese ancient culture and tradition" go away. I for one am not laughing. sure.gif

thank you, DaMo
usually I find Xiao to be mildly offensive and somewhat funny
but that last Japanese post went way too far...
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