Should
Let her family know when going out w her
Act very nice and calm
Find d good Halah restaurant
Good Coffeeshop ,good place to hang out

Should not
play w her otherwise u will b in d big trouble

Try to avoid to stay in d room w her alone if u have to always open d door ,other wise u have to marry her ,eventhough u don't doo any things

No porn in ur house even calender u have too get rid of them if u want to show her ur house

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Please help me to contribute

do not date her in the first place

I like to crack d hard stuffs ,I ve got GF but I jst know these tips cuz I hang out w Malay Boy/Girl before

Are you gonna slaughter that girl?
I thought you guys don't like Pattani Malays.

Not me dude ,I hang out w Malay. I join hariraya last year

คุณมาจากที่ไหน

Should



do this and they will (hopefully) not let you take her out anywhere



?? why would you pay special attention to this when out with a muslim gal?



very good aeroforce.. but it's actually called 'halal'



why would this be any different for a muslim gal and a non-muslim gal?

Should not



can u be more specific?... actually no don't



u don't have to marry her once you are in the same room together, however getting married is a prerequisite for being intimate with a muslim gal.



any decent girl will feel uncomfortable and probably disgusted if you had a household full of porn.

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* any relationship with a proper muslim girl will only be temporary because she will never marry you.
* any relationship with any muslim girl means that the muslim girl is not very serious in her religion, in that intimate relationships between males and females is actually forbidden in islam (other than married couples), thus her being with you is a direct defiance against her beliefs.

This is so stereotype.

Many Malay girls are modern and independent now. They dun really mind now about the nitty gritty stuff.

Not like the ones in Cerekarama.

where have i stereotyped?

islamically it is forbidden for a girl to be in a relationship with a male (excl. marriage). any girl who does this, is committing a sin.

Im beginning to like purple even more and more..

mmm..im not sure whether this is correct or not..but i think muslim girls are allow to date but under their observation of a family member..like an older brother..

well..u can date as long as u know the limits like letting the guy touch you or be alone with you in a room...BIG No-No for that..

yes, but that is usually the case when a girl and a guy are getting to know eachother for the purposes of marriage.

i have never heard of a situation where muslims are involved in casual relationships with the opposite sex, and bring along their 'mahram' whenever they decide to go out. there has to be the intention of marriage.

yeah of course there's no such thing as a 'casual relationship' nowdays cause we live in the modern days..suppose to bring your 'mahram' when you're out with a guy..but of course who does that now??..even i dont =p..that's the tradisional way..but most of the muslim girls are very independent now..like i said earlier, as long u know the limits being a muslim girl..everything should be ok..having a boyfriend shouldnt be a big problem..

i disagree.



there is no such thing as a casual relationship? of course there is.

just because many muslim girls have boyfriends, does not make it 'halal'. islam requires you to bring a mahram around with you when you're out with your 'boyfriend', and you are required to be accompanied by your 'boyfriend' when in a private setting. i don't care that some people don't go through these lengths to make sure that what they are doing is acceptable in islam, the fact of the matter remains, it is STILL haram.

it is ignorant to think that having a 'boyfriend' is deemed acceptable because 'everybody does it now'



it's the islamic way. all other 'ways' is not.



this is a pathetic justification. are you saying that girls that choose not to have a boyfriend are not independent? where is the relationship??

it doesn't matter that these girls try their best not to touch their boyfriends, or try not to kiss their boyfriends, or try and not hold his hands, or try and keep their conversations as 'clean' as possible. being alone with a guy is still haram. you can't halal the haram.

PLUS.. how many relationships are kept with the boundaries that islam puts up between males and females? it's all bullcrap. sooner or later you're gonna wanna hold your boyfriends hand at the very least, it's human nature.. and your stepping on eggshells here.

My friend is in relationship w Malay Muslim girl ,what I see is they can be together cuz the brother of d girl is support him. The boy has to make her bro trust him enough before her bro allow them to be in relationship.


PS: My friend is not Muslim
What is these things "haram. 'mahram"

@tengkuafif ผมเป็นคนกรุงเทพแต่ผมเรียนอยู่ที่ออสเตรเลีย

Mahram is a male who can act as a woman’s escort, it includes the father, brother, uncle, son, grandad and perhaps some others that I can’t think of.

Haram is something which is unlawful in islam

btw, the brother's support in this relationship is besides the point. if the whole of Malaysia supported the relationship of your friend and his girlfriend, it is still not accepted in islam. Which, for all muslims, should be the number one priority.

I went out with a malay girl before; remember this aero: Please..dont poke fun of ISLAM! thats a big hint!

We would like to hear more from Ustazah Purple and Ustazah Natasha.

Ustazah Purple:
How do we show affections towards our girlfriends in Islamic way?

Ustazah Natasha:
Bolehkah kita berkahwin dengan seorang bukan Islam tetapi dia akan hanya menganut Islam beberapa tempoh selepas perkahwinan?

Islam does not recognise boyfriend and girlfriend relationships, thus tengkuafif, you will not be showing affection to your girlfriend, because in islam she will be non-existant.

and don't call me ustazah

My mom and sisters dun exist??? Am i a another god???? 2

Lol.... this is something we cannot decide ourselves. Purple, we should consult Ustaz and Ustazahs who know these things , so dun make ur own conclusions.

make up my OWN conclusions?? this is not MY opinion. i am actually quite dumfounded that you would even think that.

i admitted that i was no ustazah, but pre-marital affairs in islam is very well known to be haram.

Purple studied Islam in Turkey. That is why her perspective on Islam is a bit different.

can u please enlighten me of the correct perspective concerning appropriate relationships between males and females.

much appreciated guys.

I'm not an ustaz but I've found three articles on the Net.


"In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not."
By Amatullah Islam

Click one of the links below:

Courtship in Islam

Why has Islam prohibited dating?

The Girlfriend-Boyfriend Relationship

ok.. i didn't read the whole thing.. but i get the general gist.

so what is the different between what i have said and what that author said?

i don't know what your stance is on this issue tengkuafif?

Of course, I am on your side.
Isn't that obvious?

no it wasn't.

ok.. but you're not on my side, we're on the side of conveying the truth on the correct islamic position.

Im gonna support purple all the way in this matter... she's rite..

Because now you know how pretty she is...

Someone please post more articles concerning this matter. . i gotta scram now.

Please check my previous posts, forrestcat.
I've provided some links.

here are some links to one of my favourite, credible islamic sites

dating: grave sin?

mixed gatherings

@tengkuafif - jeez dont call me ustazah coz im not one..im just giving out my opinion..i didnt grew up in a religious family..my dad converted to muslim before marrying my mom..so if i did write anything wrong..sorry ya!

i support both natasha and purple.. all the way as well

I support purple for whtever she is stating... I am not supportin her bcoz she is pretty.. I've not even seen her before... just saying whtver she says is betul..

Oh,sorry Aran.
I thought you are always against her.
Cheers!

that doesn't make sense.. our views are completely different on this matter.

aduh...

it was a joke and if u see it that way, it does make sense, somehow ^^

At the end of the day, who are going to judge us 'sinful'?

Allah, no doubt about that.

Well be rational & realistic for once ... in this modern world, no matter how religious you're or whether hijab or non hijab ain't gonna stop the widespread dating phenomenon that has gripped every Muslim world & youths today.

The best way to get through the hoopla-boorah of dating world, fro Muslim couples (non-married ones), just asked the gal to get her younger sister or younger brother to accompany her while you go dating. Given that most children are irritable bunch, that gonna be a deterrent to guys that may have an 'itchy' hands or prevented us from going overboard from unseen barrier of pre-marital relationship ... aka limited to casual talks.

To non-Muslim guys, if you intend to convert to Islam, than most Muslim-Malay parents have no trouble for you to strike a relationships with their daughters. If you're not seriously into Islam, my best advice, avoid any romantic feelings for the gals.

no, the best way to get around it is education. you just read it now.. not everyone is aware that dating is a sin. natasha and forestcat weren't aware of it. to them dating is normal and okay in islam, when it is not. this suggests that there are plenty of muslims like them in malaysia, indonesia, and around the world who also hold the same view. i went to indonesia last year, and i saw ALOT of couples. a country which is predomainately muslim, is filled with people having unlawful relationships. it is quite sad, that it has become the norm in indonesia, to the extent whereby people believe that it is okay, when it is not. we need to educate the youngens here. knowledge and education is the solution to all problems.

the best way is not to accept the status quo, and attempt to make it less haram, the solution is to start at the grass roots.

oh ok...

hang on will read it again...

*re-reads post*

nah.. still doesn't make sense

Whoa, purple speaks like an ustazah,man!

its just one of those things that drives me nuts. why does everyone have a pacar in indonesia? (sorry i know this is the malay forum) i don't know if it's the same in malaysia.

Wow. This is very enlightening. I never knew that there is no such thing as casual dating in the context of Islam. When I was in secondary school, there were a lot of Muslim couples around (most of their relationships are casual) and it made me think that it was a norm. For me, I do not believe in casual as well although I am not a Muslim.

I agree with you dude ,one of my Muslim malay female friend is dating w d white Aussie boy. (d boy is d very good person)
And I don't know how this relationship gonna happy ending or not ,if he want to marry her he has to convert him self to Muslim

Why do you have to>>>>>>>>> ?

= I am just worry how hard d relationship is

oh boo hoo

No, it isn't actually. But, with so many Western-values such as Valentine Day, freer expression of love (albeit, minus casual free sex) has somewhat become dominant in younger Muslim-Malay couples.

It has now become a question whether the young couples can resist the temptation not to go overboard with dating norms, aka not indulging in pre-marital sex.



Well, purple, Malay ethnic, be them Indonesians & Malaysians, tend to be moderate lot. We'll accept Western culture albeit very cautiously. As history shows, South East Asian Malays who're at the time mostly Hindus, Buddhists & animists warmly accept Islam as their new religion, adapting Islamic values in their culture without needs to altering ol-age Malay cultures ....

A stern, puritanical-style Wahhabi teachings has no value in Muslim-Malay world, not in the past, not now, not ever.