My bf is Indian and I'm Southern East Asian. We're been going out for more than 1/2 year. Our relationship has been going very well; I even have met his parents and they're very nice to me. But my other Indian friends told me to be careful because marriage thing in Indian family is restricted ...my bf may just date me now but when it comes to marriage he has to marry someone that is Indian. Is it true?

It would depend on your age and your boyfriend(and the commitment you have 2wards each other). And yes, Indians are allowed to date other races, provided their parents are open minded

if ur bf gets disowned by his parents then u can marry him!!!!

it really depends on your boyfriend's parents...some parents dont care that much about race, but care more about the person's profession, while others care more about race. if you're not sure whether or not your boyfriend is seriously considering marrying you, then you should just ask him. dont make assumptions based on what other indians are saying.

just like any other race, indian parents prefer their kid to marry an indian, but many certainly wouldn't disown their kid for not doing so. the only one who knows for sure is your boyfriend, so if you both are really serious about eachother, then the best thing for you to do is be honest about your intentions towards him, and have him do the same. good luck!

my parents r moderate.....i can marry with anyone ....indian or non indian......doest matter...... if she is nice n caring

Thanks 4 replying !

I know some Indian guys who dated Chines girls. But they just don't marry the girls. All of them ended up marrying Indian virgin girls. Arranged marriage within their castes, even. What amazes me is that even the modernized, well-educated and Americanized Indians seem to do that. Indian girls are not allowed to date outside their race (or caste,) while Indian guys can play around a bit before they decide (or are forced by their family and culture) to settle down with nice Indian virgin girls. Does anyone else see a serious problem and hypocrisy in that? At least they are not as bad as the Arab or Armenian guys, who are really the WORST in doing that kind of $hits.

again, it depends on the family...i know a lot of indians guys and girls that have married outside their race. and the ones who married other indians, married those of other castes, religions, languages, etc. so you cant generalize about all indians. there are plenty of exceptions, there are ten examples of marrying outside caste and race in my family alone!

to the original poster, ask your boyfriend where he thinks this relationship is going. force him to be honest with you, and if he says he has to marry an indian girl, then it's up to you to decide what you want to do from there.

I'm not sure actually... A lot of people in my family married outside their own culture. But I think they probably want me to marry someone they can communicate with.

hmm as far as i kno, times have changed from what ktchong is saying , at least all the indian parents i kno tho they might prefer their son to marry an indian girl they usually leave it up to him, as long as his wife-to-be is loving and has good values, i dun think they shud really care, at least mine and those w/in my family dont

U are right about this in many ways... i know indian guys who won't marry indian girls in USA cause they believe they won't be virgins and will go to india to get one...

But indians are not as bad as arabs and pakistanis.. In fact it more about parents.. indian parents black mail emotionally.. i know cause i had went thru all this... before marriage i had a steady relationship with a white guy and my parents told me to choose him or them and i choose my parents.. many indian guys and gals are in a similar situation... Parental pressure... but with arabs and pakistanis it is mostly sex and fun.. they think kafiir women can be used as there are loose etc.. this is not stereotyping ask anyone who has been around them or lived in gulf they will tell you iam right...

How can you love someone and get married to someone else?
For ppl who have been through this situation and those might have to go through : Haven't you guys ever wondered how your life would be if you can marry to your love instead? ( I'm not talking about "just for fun or sex" relationship )Especially when you're not happy with ur new Indian bf/gf or husband/wife , I bet that your heart long for the one what you used to love but have to stop seeing them!!! Thats soo ...sad! And dont tell me you'll be totally happy with ur new one cuz I know that's not usually the case.

I'm not allowed to date other non- Indians, but my parents don't care about caste (because they're an inter-caste marriage themselves).


I can even marry someone out of the linguistic ethnicity, whether they be Tamil, Bengali, etc. It doesn't have to be with a Hindi-speaking North Indian only.

Maybe it's just where I live, but aunties and uncles in my city don't care about caste. They are happy as long as you find an Indian that is the same religion as you. A Telegu Hindu marrying a Hindu Punjabi girl would be seen as acceptable by my parents' friends.

I actually know more ABD's that are more caught up with regional ethnicity than their parents. I have Punjabi and Gujarati friends that STRICTLY want to marry Gujaratis or Punjabis.

How can u marry someone else!!!! indians do... And yes iam happy... cause my hubby is good. Yes i do wonder what my life would be... But it doesn't matter.. My parents mean a lot to me. I probably would'nt have been happy if my parents disowned.. It was my choice and i decided to be with my parents.. I am lucky that i got a gem of a husband. i know not eveyone is lucky but ultimately it is fate where u end up...


Express urself iam glad ur parents are kinda liberal.. yes u are right too some indians here don't know anything other people's culture even though they are indians themselves and are more ethnically inclined.. some of my friends parents are okay with a guy as long as he is indian... 2 of my friends got married to a punjabi..

amazingly i have never seen ind guy with chi girls. but ive only occasionally seen some indian girls with oriental men. its prolly bcoz i was dating one myself.

but i have to say indian girls r damn horny. they wont frisk around like the other girls but they sure will let u know if u become really familiar with them. afterall they r human n they have feelings. they wont just stand there while their partners r or had their time. i'll cut the story short, once this married indian colleague of mine said to me "fu-k me!"

maybe its becoz of my reputation or the way i look i dunno. its maybe coz i was chasing this other girl while i was still with another girl. maybe she thought, i was playing around!

my ex-gf was Chinese and I'm an Indian guy, so its not that uncommon.

The reason for not letting you guys marry to someone that is not Indian because your parents worry that they don't understand Indian culture , don't value that Indian values, will not treat you well in life or will not respect them etc... right? They're very protective of you that show that they love you guys very much and they want you to be happy.( Every parent does )
So if you choose to marry the one you love and you know that the one you choose is a good one and you'll be happy with them. Then what is the reason for your parents to disagree? They may get mad for a while... how can they are mad at you forever . At the end you're their their children.

bingo, thats how my indian family thinks, tho they may prefer somebody that is indian, if its someone that i love and can make me happy, they are willing to get used to it

it's because indian parents, just like any other parents, think they know what's best for their kid. but you really have to ask ur boyfriend if his parents are like this, because many are not...i always thought mine were really strict, but they surprisingly were not, and they place my happiness above their ideals.

so it does suck that certain parents enforce their views on thier kids, but many dont. it's not just indian families that do this, pretty much all races do this, probably as a way to retain their culture and traditions in america.

i'm guessing your boyfriend told you he has to marry an indian? if that's the case, then you need to decide if it's worth it to stay involved with him for now, since you'll probably have to break up eventually.

No I haven't mentioned anything about that with him yet. I've met his parents and had dinner with them though, and they know that I'm his gf ( & he never brings any girl home) ... And 6 months is not a long time for anyone to ask if his/her gf/bf wants to marry them yet . I don't think is time is right to ask ( I also don't want to get marry now)... But I understand your point. cause the longer we stay in the relationship that have to end , the more heartbroken the girl will be ( all of the emotional things just because girl's left brain is usually larger than boy's left brain )
Btw can I ask u this... honestly, do you prefer to get marry an Indian girl ?

i'm actually a girl... i thought i did want to only marry an indian guy for a while, but then i dated a guy that wasnt indian...so i kind of changed my mind...there r a lot of ppl in my family that are dating or are married to non indians, and they're totally happy...it really depends on how well you get along with the person, and how that person treats you...that's the most important thing to me, so i'm not totally sure what i prefer at this point. but i'm lucky that my family is more accepting than others...each family is different though...

as far as your boyfriend goes, if he has introduced u to his parents, then that most likely mean he's serious about you...have you asked him whether or not he has to marry an indian girl? it might be a good idea to ask him, although u are right in thinking it's too soon to be talking about marriage. if his parents were receptive towards you, then that looks like a good sign. i hope things work out for you and him...good luck!

I asked, he said No
I hope we'll work out 2 cuz I do care 4 him :">
Good luck with u and your guy 2

If there's a wish , I'll wish no heart will be broken
mmmm I change my mind, I'll wish I'll be a millionaire

Thats just sad. This isn't India, they have no right...

I'm Indian and a guy. I don't give a fu-k about race, I do care about religion though. For the most part, I can't be attracted to a theist

What do you mean "they have no right?" They are my parents.


A lot of white people prefer to date and marry white people only. Are they sad? They don't live in Europe.

I personally would like to find an Indian, as I think they would understand me the best. I have been with non-Indians before, but it didn't work out. So, I can see why my parents would prefer an Indian. I don't have any objection to this.


But if I do end up with a non-Indian somehow, my parents would learn to accept it. They won't disown me.

I don't see why that would be racist, as there are plenty of whites, blacks, latinos, and East Asians that would prefer to stick with their own kind.

i think its all about how much you understand the culture. For example my dads halk paki and half korean, wheras my mom is all paki, so they both still knew the same culture, and it didn't matter weather he was or wasnt koreana cuz they understood each other... and it worked out toally fine I dont care who it is as long as he can value my culture and religionn etc, and as long as he's not american

I think that Indian Families do care about the race because I know for a fact that Indian girls will not go out with a black guy cause the family will not approve of somebody black.

I know for sure that they accept somebody white in the family that's why you see alot of Indian girls dating outside their race and they only date white men.

I think that it's such a shame cause find indian woman so nice and I wish I could ask one of them out but I know cause of the family it's a no no.

Benjamink

My bf is Indian and I'm Southern East Asian. We're been going out for more than 1/2 year. Our relationship has been going very well; I even have met his parents and they're very nice to me. But my other Indian friends told me to be careful because marriage thing in Indian family is restricted ...my bf may just date me now but when it comes to marriage he has to marry someone that is Indian. Is it true?

Hi,






I think that Indian Families do care about the race because I know for a fact that Indian girls will not go out with a black guy cause the family will not approve of somebody black.

I know for sure that they accept somebody white in the family that's why you see alot of Indian girls dating outside their race and they only date white men.

I think that it's such a shame cause find indian woman so nice and I wish I could ask one of them out but I know cause of the family it's a no no.

Benjamink

i'm actually a girl... i thought i did want to only marry an indian guy for a while, but then i dated a guy that wasnt indian...so i kind of changed my mind...there r a lot of ppl in my family that are dating or are married to non indians, and they're totally happy...it really depends on how well you get along with the person, and how that person treats you...that's the most important thing to me, so i'm not totally sure what i prefer at this point. but i'm lucky that my family is more accepting than others...each family is different though...

as far as your boyfriend goes, if he has introduced u to his parents, then that most likely mean he's serious about you...have you asked him whether or not he has to marry an indian girl? it might be a good idea to ask him, although u are right in thinking it's too soon to be talking about marriage. if his parents were receptive towards you, then that looks like a good sign. i hope things work out for you and him...good luck!

A couple of my Gujarati cousins have married with Caucasian men and everything has worked out great. The new generation always changes.

So in your first post you were a black male and in your second post you became an Indian female. Right.

My girlfriend is chinese and I am marrying her. :) Does that help

This thread is 3 years old and much has changed...but I will say this.

You can take the Indian out of India, but you can't take the India out of an Indian. It doesn't matter how americanized or liberal you are. There will be some traces of the Indian culture within you, even if you're not conscious of it. Those "little things " about your family and you will be something that your non-Indian significant other won't understand..... but hey..it's all about how you handle it.

Most Indians I work with are not allowed to date/marry non-Indians.

ahh well that just seems traditional, most countries don't really fancy their people mingling with other cultures.

I am an Indian male. I dated a Filipina for about two years. My mother was extremely chill with it and she actually really liked (and still likes her). My mom loved her and while I never explicitly told her she was my girlfriend, would always refer to her as my girlfriend and ask about her.

When it came to marriage though, my mom would say that she didn't want me marrying her. I want to mention that I think this has more to do with work-ethics and potential vocations than actual culture or personality as my mom absolutely loved (and as I mentioned, still loves) my ex. Even then, my mother would not be in control of who I marry (until I ask her for help in finding somebody) so it wouldn't really make a difference. I can express 100% confidence when I say that if we had a chat about, my mother would be fine.

We broke up due to regional differences (ie she moved away), not cultural or ethnic or familial differences (her parents loved me too so it as mutual lovin'!).

Don't worry about this whole marriage thing. I'm absolutely positive it will work out for you if their parents are fine with you.

And I don't know what this whole misinformation about this virgin neckbeard garbage is. That happens with Muslim males, not Hindu males (whom I assume the TC is dating).

My god, you're going so far overboard with this thing. You said yourself his parents know that you're his girlfriend and they are absolutely okay with it, so what is the big deal! If you're that concerned, talk to him about it because we aren't his parents. And I'm telling you right now, if his parents know it and they are okay with it... your boyfriend is their son. They will NOT hurt him emotionally just to gaude him into marrying an Indian.

My father will not give me possession of 20 cows and mango orchard if i marry any other race i love mangoshake :P

haha jokes. it depends on the person and his family. my family doesn't give a damn whom i marry.

lmao